Kinda Heartbroken (Vent)

ladyoriza

I have always known what STBXH told me last night, but hearing it really hurt. He said that he has no idea how to be a dad and that he stayed gone all the time partying because he hated his life. Then he said that he wants me back but still said nothing about DS. Why doesn't he love our son like I do? We tried for him. I conceived the first month we tried. Sure it was a little more sudden than we expected, but he became a different person.

I just didn't expect this to be my life. I thought we'd be a family. Now knowing for sure that he never wanted DS makes me so upset.

ladyoriza

@LovelyRitaMeterMaid We were together for 2 years and married for 8 months when I got pregnant.

@Excited30 I feel like I could have accepted it if he had told me when we were together. Now it just feels like his way of saying that he isn't going to have anything to do with our son unless I come back. It's so unfair to DS. That's why I'm so hurt. Not for me but for my child.

freeatlast2014

That is very hurtful to hear and hopefully one day he will come around and be the father he made you think he wanted to be before you had your LO.

MinnesotaMomma91

Hugs @ladyoriza its not fair of your stbxh to put you in that place emotionally. He doesnt deserve you of your beautiful son if he thinks partying is better then parenting.

Its hard to hear, but remember this to shall pass. Hugs again

@Lovelyritametermaid please dont place the blame on yourself or wonder why you and your dd were not enough. Yoy both were enough. Its not your fault your ex is chicken shit. Its his fault. Hugs for you too

tig594

That really sucks.  It's also very selfish.  What would happen if you felt the same way he did?  If you were too overwhelmed and scared to be a parent so you said screw it and just started going out with your friends and partying all the time?  Would he be fine with your kid growing up in foster care?  

20thirteen

I'm so sorry you had to hear that.  Guys don't always think things through, and like tig said, what if your DS went into foster care because you decided to go out all the time and party it up with your friends.  My BD didn't want the responsibility of being a dad but I know he'd have a problem with me going out all the time (only it wouldn't matter what he thought in our situation as we were never married and he's not on the BC)

freeatlast2014

I feel like having children really changes men. Are any of them changed for the better? I wonder.
I feel like my stbxh really resented me for the life we had after kids, since it was so so different. What do they expect? I mean, not like we get to live it up!! Quite the contrary

MinnesotaMomma91

@Freeatlast2014 . Some men do change for the better. I know a few men who are wonderful dads.