Boy Humor

unaveragejane

I've mentioned before how DS has been obsessed with the word "penis" ever since we started teaching him bathroom vocabulary. He had laid off using it so much until today. We went to a friend's house with one spare flat and no cover, so I had to use my in-case-of-emergency disposable. On the way home, he apparently became fascinated with the difference in fit and feel of this weird diaper. I heard him quietly mutter, "Penis," so I glanced back and realized he was trying to get to it up the leg of his shorts. I told him to stop, and he did. A few minutes later, I again heard a quiet, "Penis," from the backseat. He wasn't digging, so I didn't say anything. In a minute I again heard, "Penis," but a little bit louder. I continued to ignore it and turned up the music a little bit. This apparently challenged his manhood. This escalated to the point that finally Rhianna and I were belting out a love song for all our worth, as I desperately tried not to laugh and DS yelled, "PENIS!" at the top of his lungs.

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Into+the+Kitty

theultimatesak said:

oh my gosh.  this morning at breakfast M said "mom, my junk feels funny".  i asked what it meeant and he said "my penis.  it's weird.  look at it" and pulled up his shorts to reveal a boner.  he then asked what was wrong with it.  *sigh* i am not ready to have these kinds of conversations.

Omg I choked on my drink.

unaveragejane

Oh my gosh, SAK! That's hilarious and terrifying at the same time!!

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PipSqueak0313

That reminds me of when ds1 was little and he wanted to know why he could remove the bone from his boy parts but not from his fingers. And the time he kept feeling himself while playing outside on his big wheel and when asked if he needed to go potty he responded with "no, I'm just making sure it's still there."

unaveragejane

PipSqueak0313 said:

That reminds me of when ds1 was little and he wanted to know why he could remove the bone from his boy parts but not from his fingers. And the time he kept feeling himself while playing outside on his big wheel and when asked if he needed to go potty he responded with "no, I'm just making sure it's still there."

Oh dear heavens! @theultimatesak We are doomed!!!

PipSqueak0313

Chickypoo2468 said:

Nooooooooo!!!!! I'm terrified of the penis. And the balls. The balls more than the penis. But nooooo!! I can't handle erections at the breakfast table.

But really, are erections at the breakfast table any worse than complaints from dd about getting her period at the supper table? Dd would sometimes inform us at supper that she had cramps meaning she was about to start when she was in middle school. I also remember dd calling me at work cause she started her first one......and pads were soooo uncomfortable.....and it was messy.....and she didn't want to have one any more......and I was glad I was alone at the time she called.

sarenu1

I have a 5 year old nephew. After all the stories from my sister, I think I'm going to be fairly well prepared.

bumpuser5078523

Oh goodness. I'm so not ready for this. One boy and another on the way. Eek!

cprice02

Oh I'm in for it!  I have 3 younger brothers and a 7yo nephew so I'm feeling somewhat prepared for the boy stuff.  I guess as prepared as you can be for boners at the breakfast table.

Mandmeesh

So funny. Aside from being embarrassed if it happens in front of other people, I think it'll just be hysterical

Amores0121

Wow, I am so scared for this!! Not ready at all.  I am already grossed out by the stuff my H does, I can only imagine the stuff a little boy will do...

PipSqueak0313

It was dd that decided to go swing on a metal trapeze bar thing on her swing set in the middle of a Nebraska winter - bare bottomed. Dd is the one that asked me, while walking down the street, why boys have belly buttons if they don't have babies. To this day, I have yet to figure out how she got the idea that the belly button opened up to birth the baby. So this stuff isn't limited to just boys, there are just more humorous stories from the boys. Another one related to ds1....when he was potty training, came running out of the bathroom with his pants at his ankles, screaming that he couldn't use the toilet because there was a bug (non-flying) in the bathtub and it might bite his little parts. Oh, I'm looking forward to the stories from ds2.

nevertune

I have no funny penis stories from my older son. *sad face* Maybe this new baby will have some.

unaveragejane

No joke...DS and I had this conversation this morning while he was in the tub:

DS: Penis. See it?
Me: Yes, buddy. I see it.
DS: Banana in it?
Me: Nope, there's not a banana in it.
DS: Oh.

TJ1979

LLOL!!!

BoyOhBoys

OMG. fuuuuuuuuuuuu

I have two boys and so not looking forward to all this stuff. Especially not looking forward to puberty...