What would you do?

JNCPro3130

I had my annual OBGYN appointment today, and I left my appointment a little disappointed. First of all, I have been seeing this doctor for at least 8 years. He has switched locations a few times and I have stuck with the practice through every move. I drove 45 minutes today to go to the appointment because I like the people there. During my exam, he asked how I heard about their office. That irritated me because it seems like such a new client thing to ask and not something that usually gets asked after 8 years. I can dismiss that because maybe it was just small talk, but it bugged me a bit.

Here is my big concern: he is very against charting my cycles. He said that we should use this time to enjoy each other and not worry about scheduling the perfect time. He suggested having sex 2-3 times every week and then after 6 months we could talk about "timing" things. He said that they know stress does play a little role in getting pregnant and that there are a lot if people who take a break from charting and then get pregnant. I have been charting since February and my DH and I are in our first month TTC. I don't know what to think. He's been my doctor for a long time and has been delivering babies for a long time. Do I take a relaxed approach? If I do that I feel like I wasted 4 months of "prep" time learning my cycles. I don't really want to switch doctors, but I'm concerned that this might be the first in a series of differences we have. I don't know. What are your thoughts on this?

Tl;dr: my OBGYN is against charting. He wants me to spend 6 months having sex 2-3 times a week rather than "stressing" over timing. After 6 months we can talk about "timing" for better fertility. What would you do? Switch doctors? Do what you want anyway?

SpartanChick88

I think I would do what I was going to do no matter what he said. If you really like the practice, stick with him but I wouldn't put much stock in what he says if you are more comfortable with knowing what's up with your cycle

FitMom3510

I personally would keep charting and become more in tune with my body who cares if he is telling you to relax and not do it, do what you are happy with and what makes you comfortable. Especially since our window of opportunity is small as it is. You only see him once a year and he may have a different opinion then you do on something but if you haven't had any issues with him previous to this I would ride it out especially if you are comfortable with him other then this one time. It can take a healthy couple a year to get pregnant anyway so keep doing what you're doing and discuss it at your next annual if you are not pregnant by then. I would say not to stress about it as much if you currently are and have fun with the process but still keep track to make sure all is functioning properly with your body. It is pretty shitty that he didn't remember you, don't they have history charts? He could of at least asked how you liked the new office since you're a repeat client not how did you hear about it like you just met.

ETA: words

KingLED

JNCPro3130 said:

I had my annual OBGYN appointment today, and I left my appointment a little disappointed. First of all, I have been seeing this doctor for at least 8 years. He has switched locations a few times and I have stuck with the practice through every move. I drove 45 minutes today to go to the appointment because I like the people there. During my exam, he asked how I heard about their office. That irritated me because it seems like such a new client thing to ask and not something that usually gets asked after 8 years. I can dismiss that because maybe it was just small talk, but it bugged me a bit.

Here is my big concern: he is very against charting my cycles. He said that we should use this time to enjoy each other and not worry about scheduling the perfect time. He suggested having sex 2-3 times every week and then after 6 months we could talk about "timing" things. He said that they know stress does play a little role in getting pregnant and that there are a lot if people who take a break from charting and then get pregnant. I have been charting since February and my DH and I are in our first month TTC. I don't know what to think. He's been my doctor for a long time and has been delivering babies for a long time. Do I take a relaxed approach? If I do that I feel like I wasted 4 months of "prep" time learning my cycles. I don't really want to switch doctors, but I'm concerned that this might be the first in a series of differences we have. I don't know. What are your thoughts on this?

Tl;dr: my OBGYN is against charting. He wants me to spend 6 months having sex 2-3 times a week rather than "stressing" over timing. After 6 months we can talk about "timing" for better fertility. What would you do? Switch doctors? Do what you want anyway?

A lot of OBs are like that. Do what you feel comfortable with. He's essentially telling you to have EOD sex and not pay attention to anything else. Obviously if you have more information that's better, but a lot of people don't want to do all that.

I don't necessarily think he's a bad doctor just because he doesn't deal with helping people get pregnant. But if you're not comfortable with your current doctor, find a new one.

VeggieFan

If you want to chart, then do it, he can't stop you. I'm sure he was just trying to ease your anxiety about "needing to be in control" (I'm not saying you are, but maybe he thought it would cause you stress). Either way, good luck!

LtColumbo

JNCPro3130 said:

Tl;dr: my OBGYN is against charting. He wants me to spend 6 months having sex 2-3 times a week rather than "stressing" over timing. After 6 months we can talk about "timing" for better fertility. What would you do? Switch doctors? Do what you want anyway?

I say do it anyway. My OBGYN also told me to have sex every other day and not worry about using OPKs or taking BBT for the first six months. I don't think he's "against" charting, he just didn't want me to stress. I did that for the first few months and it was very difficult for us to have sex that often; plus, I couldn't deal with not knowing what was going on with my body. So now I am charting and am so much more optimistic about TTC.

Bee1112

I would keep doing what you are comfortable doing. I enjoy charting so I wouldn't stop.

KingLED

DarcyHermione said:

fuzzylogic said:

I would chart anyway if I wanted to do it. It's not going to hurt you.

I would also probably find a doctor closer to me who remembers me. My OB knows me well, asks me about my job, we talk band-nerdy things, remembers what I tell her, even though I don't see her all that often. It's important to me to have a good relationship with my doctor, though. Others may feel differently.

I like to have a good relationship with anyone who is spending close personal time with my vagina.

Well that's just boring.

JNCPro3130

DarcyHermione said:

EllyD14 said:

DarcyHermione said:

fuzzylogic said:

I would chart anyway if I wanted to do it. It's not going to hurt you.

I would also probably find a doctor closer to me who remembers me. My OB knows me well, asks me about my job, we talk band-nerdy things, remembers what I tell her, even though I don't see her all that often. It's important to me to have a good relationship with my doctor, though. Others may feel differently.

I like to have a good relationship with anyone who is spending close personal time with my vagina.

Well that's just boring.

I'm so vanilla.

Haha! My doctor is the only man other than my DH that's spent time with my vag! Should I be concerned that he doesn't remember me? I feel like he should at least call after being all up in my business!

JNCPro3130

Thanks everyone! As pp have said, it wasn't medical advice, so I'm going to continue to chart because I do like to know that 1- I ovulated, 2- when to expect AF, and 3- if DH and I had good timing for TTC. I think, as Joy said, I'm going to take his advice and enjoy the time with my husband. I did get a little caught up with timing (stressed internally, not to DH) this cycle. I'm going to take all the advice: chart and not worry about every little detail. Thanks again ladies! As always, you guys are great!

TheBorg7of9

Because of low drives and very busy schedules, we would never be able to keep up with 2-3 times a week. We conceived our second son because we managed to schedule it one time that cycle, two days after a pos opk. Without opks and charting there's no way we would've done it. So, I say do what you want with charting. But when you do get pregnant you will have tons of appointments with your OB, so I would choose a closer one. But I wouldn't care too much about his personality because around here you never know which doc in the group will be delivering you.

holliberry28

I would probably try to find someone closer to you.  The fact that he didn't remember you after so many years would make me mad.  Also, I find that a lot of doctors don't like their patients being so knowledgable because it undermines their professional advice/opinion.  Not to say that there aren't wonderful caring doctors, but he doesn't sound like one of them.  

ImJessesGirl

Like other poster's have said.... I would do it anyway. I chart and my doctor had no idea until I got my BFP and was explaining to her how I knew exactly when I conceived and lo and behold, at the first ultrasound, baby was measuring exactly to the date of when I told her I conceived.

cakeisgood

Does the 'What Would You do' song from Team America automatically come to anyone else's mind when they read the title post?