calling GF auntie?

joyfullyfound

DD spent the weekend with my parents, and my 20 year old brother lives with them. He's been dating a girl we all really like for about a year... she just graduated from high school this month. DD adores her, she's really great with kids. Anyways, I guess my brother and his GF were around a lot this weekend as well and took DD for a walk, watched a movie with her, etc. 

Well, DD came home yesterday talking about "Auntie Mia" this and "Auntie Mia" that. I mentioned it to my mom on the phone just now, and I guess GF just started referring to herself that way while she was over and DD picked it up right away. 

So my question is, would you care? I mean, I grew up calling some of my parents' friends uncle and aunt even though they weren't technically related to me, but they were all people who were permanent fixtures in my life, whereas my brother and his GF are still really young and the reality is that she'll most likely disappear from DD's life at some point... 

I can't decide how I feel about it... right now I'm leaning towards not making a stink about it and allowing DD to continue calling her auntie if she wants, but not encouraging it, and DH and I would just refer to her by her first name as we have been...

Thoughts? What would you do in this situation?

thechickencoop

Eh, I think if you like her well enough, even if she may never be technically an aunt, it's not going to hurt for now. It might bother me a little bit but I don't think it's worth making a stink over.

I will say though, that my BIL's girlfriend calls herself 'aunt so and so' to DS, & I actually told her not to. She is a vile person and her and BIL are not married but she legally changed her last name to ours so that she can still collect all of her (very undeserved) benefits which she would not qualify for if she were married. /rant over

notkateanymore

I guess it depends on what age they were...at DD's age, I wouldn't care, but she's old enough to understand when they break up that she wasn't really her aunt, etc. At DS's age, obviously it's OK too...there is an age though like 3-4 that might be hard bc they're not old enough to understand what is going on when they break up but they're old enough to get attached. 

GatorGirl1013

Yes it would bother me. To me the aunt/uncle title is earned not just given. And definitely not something for the person to just start calling himself/herself like that. IF the child had started doing it on their own it would be different to me, but in the scenario you described I would be correcting to Miss girlfriend name when she said aunt.

likeanoldtimemovie

My BIL has been dating a girl for about seven months and she sees a lot of our kids. I would be pissed if she referred to herself as "auntie", but she's also the third girlfriend he's had in a year so maybe that's my hang up?

Oh and I don't like her all that much.

LoveBeingMama

I don't think it would bother me if I liked her and she wasn't brand new. Doesn't seem like a huge deal. If I didn't like her, it may bug me.

Now, if I was the 20 year old dude, I might be freaking out about it a little.

raraavis28

LoveBeingMama said:

I don't think it would bother me if I liked her and she wasn't brand new. Doesn't seem like a huge deal. If I didn't like her, it may bug me. Now, if I was the 20 year old dude, I might be freaking out about it a little.

Haha! This reminds me of when the twins were born and my 19 yo sister's bf called himself "Uncle Nate." She was like "Um so are we married now??" They have since broken up (not over that though lol!) :P

I would say go w/ your inclination to just call her by her name (or "Miss Mia") but not make an issue either way.

joyfullyfound

letranger said:

Not at all. mostly because the girl probably meant no harm. are you okay with her going by just first names?

No, not generally... DD calls all the adults we know by Mr/Mrs/Miss ____. But Mia is so young that I guess she just didn't seem like an adult when we first met her last year when she was 17 and started teaching DD what to call her... Whoops. 

zbeesma86

Nah. Z does at times or miss first name.

penguingrrl

I wouldn't have an issue with it . Honestly, it sounds like she's a really positive part of their lives for now, which is my criteria. Even with "adult" relationships you can't predict the future and know that a seemingly stable adult couple will make it to marriage or have their marriage survive. We waited until my sister was engaged to start calling her partner "Uncle" and even had him be Emma's godfather. Then their engagement fell apart a few months before the wedding very unexpectedly. After that I was gun shy about having them call her new partner Uncle and now they've been married since October and the girls keep forgetting to call him uncle. They still often ask about the XFi and I just explained that sometimes grown up couples grow apart.

And hell, DH and I were 18 (me) and 16 (him, just shy of his birthday, shortly after mine) when we got together. Nobody thought we would make it to marriage, us included, because of how young we were. Yet here we are!

If your brother is comfortable with it I would go with it. It will make her feel welcome and included, which is always good even if it doesn't work out long-term.

jnksmom

I don't think it would bother me. As someone else said even "adult" relationships don't always last.

DS was 3 months old when my brother got married so his ex-wife was "Auntie" for 5 years. My kids still call her that if they talk about her and they have been divorced for a year. I think she will probably always be Auntie to them as she is their cousins mom.

olga1311

I wouldnt care but I call every adult in LO's life (other then actual relatives) as auntie this or uncle that. Its normal in my culture