PgAL Check In

princezjk

Hello ladies,

I Hope this finds you all well and positive this week! If you have any questions you would like answered, please don't be shy! You can also ask the PAL ladies. Grow little ones, grow!  

*I know I have been a terrible PgAL check in leader, but at 38 weeks, I think the time to pass the torch has come. If you are interested in taking over, please send me a PM.  Thank you!*

How far along are you?

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?

QOTW: What are your thoughts and feelings about the sex of your rainbow?  Do you plan to find out?  Do you hope your rainbow will be the same or different sex as your angel?  If you have already found out, how has it effected PgAL brain?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

ikrystal

How far along are you?
Just over 5 weeks.  
Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
We have an appointment with our RE on Monday and we should hear a heartbeat!  It is so bittersweet.  We will be in the same room that we heard Conner and Benjamin's heartbeats for the first time.  This whole thing feels like deja vu. 
Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
Just exhaustion, which is fine with me!  It gives me a reason to take naps without coming off as lazy. 
QOTW: What are your thoughts and feelings about the sex of your rainbow?  Do you plan to find out?  Do you hope your rainbow will be the same or different sex as your angel?  If you have already found out, how has it effected PgAL brain?
My husband would like a girl.  He feels like it would be easier to deal with after losing two boys.  This way, we won't be shopping for boy clothes and boy toys.  We have a name for a girl and not for a boy, so that would be nice as well.  We will find out as soon as we can. But honestly, I couldn't care less about the gender.  I just want a healthy baby.  
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Is this baby coming home with us?  I can't stop thinking that I will lose this one too.  As awful as it sounds, I keep thinking if I'm going to lose this baby, it better be now.  I cannot deal with giving birth to another baby who dies in my arms hours later.  

jess123456

How far along are you? 22 weeks 1 day

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Making it to 24 weeks is definitely something I am looking forward to. I will have my glucose test at my next appointment which I am a bit nervous about.

Symptoms/cravings: I have been feeling him move more and more which is reassuring for sure. I have an anterior so I wasn't expecting it for a while. I have managed to stay away from my doppler more and more now because of it. I feel like I can't stop eating. I crave spicy foods and meats.

QOTW: This is a great question and one that I have been thinking about since finding out it's a boy so early due to the Panorama test. First and foremost, I feel so blessed to be able to be a mom to my sweet boy already. I do think that having a boy this time has helped manage my PGAL brain a bit because it's different but at the same time I am sad that I will miss out on mother and daughter things. I imagine if I were having a girl again it would be so hard too because there is no way that I will get my baby girl back.

I know this sounds strange but in addition to being beyond thrilled about my son a big part of me feels like somehow I will get to have a small part of my daughter because he is her brother.

Open Topic: Now that I am showing more I am having a tough time with it. Having been on this fertility roller coaster of loss after loss for so many years the thought of upsetting someone who might be quietly struggling is so upsetting to me that I want to hide my bump in public. I know it's ridiculous and especially hard to do in the summer. I guess the other thing is that it is becoming more obvious that I am pregnant especially to neighbors and that makes me feel so vulnerable. Being PGAL is such a mix of emotions.

jess123456

@ikrystal‌ Congrats to you! I am thinking so many positive thoughts for your upcoming appointment. I know how tough it is to go back to the same ultrasound room again and that brings so many emotions.

stefuge

@aragosta‌ - so many ((hugs)). I wish I had some advice or helpful words, but you're right. It is unfair. Wishing you peace and strength with your appointment and all of the difficult upcoming decisions.

jess123456

@aragosta‌ Thinking of you as you face these very difficult decisions. You have every right to feel angry. It's very unfair and I am so sorry and send you guys lots of prayers and hugs.

jonahsma

How far along are you? 29 weeks

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
NST tomorrow and appt July 14

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? My feet look like shrek's

QOTW: What are your thoughts and feelings about the sex of your rainbow? Bittersweet

  Do you plan to find out? We found out we're having another little girl.

 Do you hope your rainbow will be the same or different sex as your angel?  If you have already found out, how has it effected PgAL brain? It put PGAL brain into over drive. I'm already thinking that I will be so grief stricken at the birth that I won't be able to focus on Mia.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I want to be 39 weeks already.( I'm supposed to have a c- section at 39 weeks) I want to hold my baby. I get so scared that I won't get the chance to.

@aragosta thoughts and prayers with you, Will and dh tomorrow!

stefuge

@jonahsma‌ - ((hugs))

jonahsma

This is kind of a vent**** I haven't intro'd in pgal , I feel "at home' here so is it ok to vent this on here?

I received the approval for the nsts a couple of weeks ago, And right there in my face was the reason for the nst  ***FETAL DEMISE****

Wow, what a stab to my heart. I never received anything like a death certificate or Emily's remains. So this is the only thing I have on paper stating this.

If that wasn't enough, I have been asked for the reasoning of the nsts by both the registration clerk AND the nurse.

"Why are you having an nst done today?"

"Fetal Demise, Second tri loss. I have had two losses. Chronic Hypertension"

Is it REALLY necessary to ask me Everytime I go in?

If I get asked again I think i'm going to say something....

mmsweeney1

@jonahsma Oh I SO know how you feel - I hated seeing the term fetal demise. That is the worst possibly way to say what happened to us! I also find it annoying that they ask every time why we are having NSTs... there must be a better way right?  So sorry you had that experience.

How far along are you?
I am rounding up to 34 weeks

Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones?
We have so many appointments - NSTs twice a week along with ultrasounds once a week.
Our son's first birthday would be coming up soon because he was born on July 20 - I can't believe I should have a one year old right now. It makes me so sad! I wish I could see what he would have looked like as he grew out of the newborn stage.

Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions?
nothing really

QOTW: What are your thoughts and feelings about the sex of your rainbow?  Do you plan to find out?  Do you hope your rainbow will be the same or different sex as your angel?  If you have already found out, how has it effected PgAL brain?
We didn't know for our son, and that surprise didn't really turn out. I remember when I pushed him out, the doctors took him without even announcing he was a boy. My husband had to follow them to find out. It was just so sad, like we were the only ones who still cared.
I was really sad at first when I found out we were having a girl this time instead of another boy, but now I think it's really good that I can separate the two experiences in my head a little more.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I just feel like PGAL is so hard!! I had an ultrasound yesterday morning and she was doing great. Then last night I hadn't really felt her move for about an hour leading up to my normal kick count time. So I stretched out to do the kick count, expecting to get ten quick movements in ten minutes like I always do and... nothing. I tried moving all around and nudging my belly and still she was not moving. My husband was really starting to panic because this is not like her. We were minutes away from going to the hospital, but thankfully a few glasses of lemonade got her going. But it is so hard to always expect the worst - we've been through it, so we know it can and does happen. I feel like if my doctor won't let me have her early, he is going to have to prescribe us some Xanax or something!

Thanks for reading, this is a long one!

erinel

How far along are you? 7 weeks Do you have any upcoming appointments or milestones? Ultrasound/appointment on Friday, will hopefully see the heartbeat! Any pregnancy symptoms or pregnancy cravings or aversions? Yes, it is strange, this time I have totally different symptoms than last time. I'm nauseous and am more emotional earlier on this time. Last time I had no nausea, sore boobs, and was super tired all the time. I'm still tired, but not like last time, hopefully that stays true. QOTW: What are your thoughts and feelings about the sex of your rainbow? Do you plan to find out? Do you hope your rainbow will be the same or different sex as your angel? If you have already found out, how has it effected PgAL brain? I am so torn on this. I think I'm leaning towards preferring a girl since Q was a boy, and I want the two to be as separate as possible. Not for my sake, but for everyone else. I don't want anyone to think that I can replace Q with another baby. Part of me wants another boy though, I don't know. I guess it's a good thing we can't choose! Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? We just got back from vacation for two weeks, so I'm back at work. I'm so anxious to see the heartbeat on Friday, I've been so convinced that something is wrong from the beginning, so it will be nice to reach a milestone.