Leaving LO with DH help

sunflowermama42212

Hi ladies

So I'm a SAHM. I'm with H all the time. So much that DH can't take him or H starts hysterically crying. Unless he sees that I'm right there he freaks out. If DH gets up to do a MOTN feeding to let me sleep, I have to console him for like 20 mins so it's not even worth it. Today I have to take our dog to the vet and I honestly would like alone time. Do I just let H cry and let DH figure it out? He tries all the things I do but nothing works. It breaks my heart because I know it breaks his too. Will he grow out of this cling to mom phase? DH barely gets time with him.

kmc84

You need to just bite the bullet! It's going to be hard on all of you, but if you are there, I think baby KNOWS you are there and will always want you instead.

Do you have any doubts about YH taking care of him? If not, just pack up and take a few hours for yourself. If you think YH will get too frustrated, start slow, but they need to be alone together to figure things out. Good luck!

jesselayne8

He will figure it out. He may not do things your way but it will be okay. GL!

sunflowermama42212

Thanks ladies! I'm confident he knows what he is doing. I think your right, if we realize there will be tears at first then it may not be as stressful. 

mcgeeva

Let your DH figure it out. Not just for your sake of being able to get out but also if you ever decide to get a sitter you can leave knowing they will be fine.

Dragonfly1226

We had the same problem when DS was he was a baby. You need to just leave your h with the baby. It won't work if you are in the next room because you will want to pop in to save the day or coach your h through it. What works for you won't work for your h. You have to let him figure out his was. The only way he can do that is if you keep leaving your h with the baby. Like I said, I have been there. I know it is hard. I promise, it is the best thing for you and for your family.

CageyMack

Ditto all the responses.  You cannot coach your DH or "save" your baby.  If MOTN feedings result in crying, let DH deal with it and comfort baby.  Stick your head under a pillow and let him be the one to console and help baby.

And yes, nothing better than leaving them alone together for several hours.  They will find what works for them.

mdiblasi10

I'm just echoing the others... YH will figure it out and will do great! A lot of times they are fine once you are gone. And yes, they will go through phases of being clingy to one parent or the other. Good luck

BabyKsMommy

Yes yes and yes to all of the above. This was ds up until about 2 1/2 but now he loves spending time with daddy. They have special activities that they do together.

I know he misses me when he gets home but he loves his daddy time too

boymomstrong

I totally agree with all the posters above, also, i wanted to add it may be worth it to look for a sitter for a couple hours a couple days a week. You get time, baby gets socialization, and helps to ease the separation anxiety that happens... I had to do this with my son at ab 10 months, and he loves it now! We just uped his time and he goes 3 hours 3 days a week, but we started with 2 hours 2 days, then went to 3 hours 2 days, then 2 hours 3 days a week and now do 3 hours 3 days a week, and thats how we will stay until he goes to school...

Good luck!

queenbone

MishaBelle521 said:

 Do I just let H cry and let DH figure it out? 

Yes.

It will be hard for your babe and DH at first, but they have to be left alone to navigate their own relationship. We have two rules in our marriage. #1 No giving driving directions unless specifically asked. #2 Moms and Dads are different. 

The way your H does things will be different than they way you do them. That is okay; in fact it is preferable. We each have our own strengths that we bring to parenting.