Space.

AmandaArnson

I am 26 weeks pregnant and having a healthy baby boy, but do stressed out because I am a newlywed (married 9-14-13) recently graduated from college and somehow stuck living with my parents and their 2 dogs with my hubby and our two dogs.

All I want is a space for my new family an instead were all crammed in a 10x10 bedroom and going crazy because no one wants to hire someone who is 6 months pregnant and my husband criminal justice degree doesn't seem to catch any attention because we can't afford to have him go to the police acedemy.

Just needed to vent. Hopefully this isn't a permanent situation. Ugh.

Emerald27

I'm sorry. I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant with DS. DH was job searching and I was a teacher (not a huge salary by any means), so we were living with my mom when DS was born. My mom and I disagreed a lot about early parenting practices, so the frequent interaction/confrontation was stressful for all of us.

The upside was that we didn't need childcare when I returned to work, because DH was home. He and DS have such a close bond. It was very stressful for him not to be supporting us, but that time he got to spend with DS is irreplaceable.

When DH did find a new job and we moved to settle where we are now, I was able to become a SAHM, and we are now supporting ourselves 100%. Sometimes the road to independence is rough, especially right out of college these days, but hang in there. It won't be like this forever, and someday you'll be able to look back on the crazy days of sharing a 10x10 bedroom and waiting on the arrival of your first child. You can think of how far you've come and of where you've been, and I'm sure you'll even have some fond or funny memories of this cumbersome time.

AmandaArnson

Thanks and I know you're right and I know there's going to be an amazing opportunity that eventually comes our way. Always good to hear from people who have survived the crazy stressful times though

DaniGrace89

Hang in there! Living in a similar situation, though temporary...it is hard at times. And having space is the key to my sanity. So I get that! Maybe getting away for a few hours by yourself will help you feel better. Especially with dogs. I love going to huge dog parks with my pooch. Good luck!

AmandaArnson

Good idea. Maybe on my next day off (I work retail another stress) maybe hubby and I can have a doggie play day I'm sure the dogs need it too

AppleGrapeMSTK

When DH and I got married, we lived with MIL and her 18 cats. Getting pregnant was totally unexpected. DH was working a min. wage job and I was not working at all. We lived in the basement, and I hated it. It took a whole year, but we both got great jobs eventually and were able to move out.

While it may take some time, this is not a permanent situation. You are totally not alone in the living arrangement frustration.

Emerald27

@AppleGrapeMSTK‌ I notice a typo there in your post. You typed "18 cats," and I'm pretty sure you mistyped that 8... :-O

NavyFlyer

That's really frustrating I'm sure :0( I hope things look up for your hubby's job search soon!

AmandaArnson

Thanks all

PC0909

Do you live near a prison?  Most of my friends with CJ degrees work in the prison system.

In other news, I can't imagine having all that going on right now.  Hopefully things start looking up, and spreading out!

bumpuser10309732

I know how you feel! When we moved to our current place of residence we had to live with DH's parents for 6 months because it was such a quick change that we didn't have time to make other arrangements. I'm thankful that they had that to offer us but man I was really ready to have my own space! It will come eventually! Just remind yourself that it's only temporary!

Maggie6424

Oh man. I can definitely understand your frustration!! Hopefully something comes along for one of you soon!

AppleGrapeMSTK

Emerald27 said:

@AppleGrapeMSTK‌ I notice a typo there in your post. You typed "18 cats," and I'm pretty sure you mistyped that 8... :-O

@Emerald27 Oh, you are so right.  Add our three dogs to that, too.  

It was pretty gross, especially since MIL had had a stroke and couldn't keep up with the cleaning.  I did what I could, but the carpets were so filthy, no amount of vacuuming and shampooing could save them.  DS was only allowed to crawl in the basement (our 'home') and in his room.  I was so uncomfortable having him touch anything.  Also, my asthma had never been so bad.

Emerald27

AppleGrapeMSTK said:

Emerald27 said:

@AppleGrapeMSTK‌ I notice a typo there in your post. You typed "18 cats," and I'm pretty sure you mistyped that 8... :-O

@Emerald27 Oh, you are so right.  Add our three dogs to that, too.  

It was pretty gross, especially since MIL had had a stroke and couldn't keep up with the cleaning.  I did what I could, but the carpets were so filthy, no amount of vacuuming and shampooing could save them.  DS was only allowed to crawl in the basement (our 'home') and in his room.  I was so uncomfortable having him touch anything.  Also, my asthma had never been so bad.

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I can't imagine having to clean litterboxes for 18 cats every day. We have 2 cats and 2 boxes (though I know the rec is one per cat and one "shared"), so for 18 cats, if you did a box each and then one extra per two cats, that would be 27 litterboxes! I suppose you could do a box per cat and then have one extra per three cats...that's still 24 boxes! You would have to have a designated "cat room" in your house just for the litter! And then the food...I just can't fathom it. :P

ETA: sorry for hijacking the thread!

ETA2: I suppose another option would be converting a few of these to litterboxes:

AppleGrapeMSTK

Emerald27 said:

Emerald27 said:

@AppleGrapeMSTK‌ I notice a typo there in your post. You typed "18 cats," and I'm pretty sure you mistyped that 8... :-O

@Emerald27 Oh, you are so right.  Add our three dogs to that, too.  

It was pretty gross, especially since MIL had had a stroke and couldn't keep up with the cleaning.  I did what I could, but the carpets were so filthy, no amount of vacuuming and shampooing could save them.  DS was only allowed to crawl in the basement (our 'home') and in his room.  I was so uncomfortable having him touch anything.  Also, my asthma had never been so bad.

I can't imagine having to clean litterboxes for 18 cats every day. We have 2 cats and 2 boxes (though I know the rec is one per cat and one "shared"), so for 18 cats, if you did a box each and then one extra per two cats, that would be 27 litterboxes! I suppose you could do a box per cat and then have one extra per three cats...that's still 24 boxes! You would have to have a designated "cat room" in your house just for the litter! And then the food...I just can't fathom it. :P

She had 3 boxes.  And she kept them in the kitchen.  AND she never scooped.  When it got full, she just dumped the whole thing.  Cats don't like dirty boxes, so they stopped using the boxes- hence the gross carpets.  They also peed on grocery bags, on the stove, in shoes, in toy boxes and laundry baskets...  DD was the smelly kid at school and it was so hard to get rid of!  She still has stuffed animals that smell like cat pee- they've been washed multiple times and moved out a year ago!

We stayed so long because she was disabled and needed the help, and we were poor and needed a place to live.  It all worked out in the end, but I would never wish my situation on anyone.

Emerald27

@AppleGrapeMSTK‌ That's rough. I'm sure it is difficult to care for your pets properly when you're disabled, and I'm sure she loves every one of those cats and rehoming some would be heartbreaking. Still, that sort of condition is not livable! I hope since you've moved, she's been able to make some changes (or wants to, at least, for the future).

DH is on litterbox duty while I'm pregnant, even though our cats are indoor and never go outside. For a while he slacked off and was dumping the boxes once a week, like your MIL, but even though the litterboxes are on a separate floor from the living area, I could smell them (joy of pregnancy), and told him that was NOT going to work. Lol ...luckily he's been better about cleaning them daily, and we haven't had any kitty accidents.

AmandaJean12

I totally feel for you. While we weren't pregnant at the time, when we finished school and were newlyweds we were on the verge of being homeless for a while. We drained our savings during the job search and despite our ldegrees, jobs were impossible to find.

Stay positive though... I know a lot of couples who have been in similar situations and eventually it comes together. You just need to keep hanging on for the first break, that turns into the next one, and the next one. Soon you'll look back and think about how far you've come.

AmandaArnson

He looked into the loss prevention stuff but wanted us to relocate for a pitiful wage. He actually is looking into a security position n going to apply to a few places like prisons and what not. Thanks for all the suggestions

miriamm08

I'm in a very similar situation, not so much with the housing, but with everything else. I just got married last October, DH lost his job in December, and I lost mine in January. Found out I was pregnant in February, and was so sick it kind of threw a wrench in finding a new job. DH finely found a job in March, he also has a criminal justice degree, and could not find anything in that field. Now he is an instructor, and driving teacher at a local driving academy. Its only paying enough to cover our most basic bills, which has me freaking out because I have no idea how we are going to afford the baby essentials. Oh well. It's crazy how much can happen in such a short amount of time! I hope something comes up for your DH soon, and definitely hope y'all's living situation gets better soon, I think being stuck in a 10x10 room would be the tipping point for me.