TTC after Micarriage

selmasowavy

hey there everyone, I unfortunately misscarried on the 5th of April of this year and my hubby and I baby danced two days ago because I believe we are both ready to ttc again however I been very sad and angry and jealous of mothers and mothers to be with their pregnant bellies. also my hubbies brother (my brother in law) is now expecting his 3 child with his girlfriend but its her first pregnancy, I'm happy for them because they are the kindest people ever however, I'm also sad and jealous! and top of all I been diagnosed with acid reflex and gastritis and i just had a endoscopy I'm only 21 and shouldn't be this depress i have loss so much i don't have any family which most are deceased and the others don't care for me. i been emotionally, mentally and physically a wreck! i need some support and I hope you ladies can send me some baby dust. I hope this month I'll be pregnant.

Poppy715

selmasowavy said:

hey there everyone, I unfortunately misscarried on the 5th of April of this year and my hubby and I baby danced two days ago because I believe we are both ready to ttc again however I been very sad and angry and jealous of mothers and mothers to be with their pregnant bellies. also my hubbies brother (my brother in law) is now expecting his 3 child with his girlfriend but its her first pregnancy, I'm happy for them because they are the kindest people ever however, I'm also sad and jealous! and top of all I been diagnosed with acid reflex and gastritis and i just had a endoscopy I'm only 21 and shouldn't be this depress i have loss so much i don't have any family which most are deceased and the others don't care for me. i been emotionally, mentally and physically a wreck! i need some support and I hope you ladies can send me some baby dust. I hope this month I'll be pregnant.

Hi welcome. Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. Have you read our blog or the top post that says "Read First"? It has really helpful information that can help you navigate the board and TTC again after your loss. So many of us experience anger and jealousy after a loss. It's a real struggle seeing others with what we desperately desire. I

I wanted to mention we don't use the term "baby dust" around here. It has really awful connotations for lots of our members. Many of the ladies here do have their babies ashes, literal baby dust. You can see how the term could be hurtful.

Have you thought about talking to a professional? It's a hard step for some people but therapy has helped numerous loss mamas.

Poppy715

Also another quick thing to mention is if you are lucky enough to get a BFP this cycle please move on over to the PgAL board. They will be happy to have you!

selmasowavy

I'm sorry i didn't know, yeah I'm just very angry at everyone and everything.

sunflwra

This hurts my head.

OP- welcome and I'm sorry for your loss.  As Poppy said, many of us understand the anger/jealousy of seeing others around us pregnant, so I think it's totally normal but something you have to find a good way to work through/deal with. Sounds like you've got a lot going on in your life that can cause even more anxiety with a loss, so I'd definitely second trying to find someone to talk to. I hope you find the support you need to move forward.

On a personal note- it's really tough to read your post with all run on sentences, no punctuation, grammar/spelling issues, etc. After reading the post that Poppy mentioned, I'd definitely recommend being a little more mindful of those things in future posts so that everyone is clear on what they are reading and can respond appropriately.  And no mention of 'baby dust'.

 

selmasowavy

sorry, and my post hurts your head?

selmasowavy

???

selmasowavy

Its not that difficult to read my post.

selmasowavy

no.

sunflwra

PetraStonegirl said:

All she's saying is that, baby dust aside (which is a natural newbie mistake and easily avoided in the future), the Bump's format makes reading long posts without paragraphs very difficult to read and understand, so an effort in that regard would be appreciated. I am sorry for your loss, welcome to the board.

This. Just a helpful suggestion.

selmasowavy

these women are very disrespectful.

selmasowavy

whatever.

sunflwra

selmasowavy said:

these women are very disrespectful.

And here we go...

If you don't like the advice, don't take it. No one was disrespectful.

LittleMrsW

These ladies were actually trying to help you OP. There are certain guidelines we all follow to make this a safe place for all of us. If you think the advice you were given is disrespectful, then this is not the place for you. 

ETA: OP left us to TTGP

sunflwra

Yeah- I'm guessing I'm one of the three that should be reported.  Go for it and keep digging that hole while you're at it!

ImJessesGirl

Wow... let me tell ya, OP, if you find the women on this particular section of the board to be "disrespectful", it's not going to go so well for you on other sections either. You were given some pretty good advice, but I gather you didn't get what you were going for. Outside of the grammatical improvements your posts should have in the future, I will just respond with saying that I know we all can understand being angry with those who seemingly have something/everything that you want. No one ever thinks a miscarriage could or would happen to them, but they do. It is very common. Doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but it is what it is. I do hope you get pregnant this month, as I hope every month we all get pregnant. Lofty ambitions...

LittleMrsW

sunflwra said:

Yeah- I'm guessing I'm one of the three that should be reported.  Go for it and keep digging that hole while you're at it!

Offering advice and emphasizing with OP, you should totally be reported!

selmasowavy

Agaian I will say this. Im not angry about people telling me to have perfect grammar its the fact you don't have to say my post is giving you headache, if it then don't read. simple.

KMW08

selmasowavy said:

Agaian I will say this. Im not angry about people telling me to have perfect grammar its the fact you don't have to say my post is giving you headache, if it then don't read. simple.

**sig warning***

As another pp posted, she came to pgal also.

To this statement, if you want support, people are going to have to read your posts. That's how it works, we don't know your number to call you up and chat about it sweetheart.

Grammar and punctuation makes your posts more clear and easier to comprehend. If you want to relate and get support then the best thing you can do is try to act like an adult who can communicate properly. Autocorrect and spelling mistakes happen, we get that.

And I'm done. I've offered solid & polite advice here and on pgal. What you do is up to you. Like I said on pgal if you don't like it here, maybe babygaga.com or whattoexpect's forums are more appropriate for you.


Much love to the ttcal ladies :-*

sunflwra

@selmasowavy - this was the whole point of the comment.  If your posts are difficult to read, people won't read them and won't be able to help you or offer support.  Yes, it was a sarcastic comment, but not disrespectful or rude. 

People are honest here and sometimes that may include a response that you don't want to hear.  If that's not your thing then good luck finding any board you like on The Bump.

Poppy715

selmasowavy said:

these women are very disrespectful.

Who is being disrespectful. They've welcomed you, given you resources that helped them after their losers and given you helpful tips on how to get the most out if this place. Your blatant disregard for their helpful suggestions is unkind.

I know things are hoard right now but you can't treat people however you see for after a loss.

BackstreetPixie

I'm sorry for your loss. It is a very difficult time, and easy to feel angry, sad, and jealous. Emotions are high and I know for me I was easily hurt for months after. I would talk to a doctor, as others have suggested, to make sure it is safe to ttc with  your other conditions right now. I had to wait 6 months because of a medical condition I have. (I had to wait for it to be in remission.) Also, you mention not having any family or anyone close to talk with. Like others, I highly recommend talking with a grief counselor. It can really help. 

The ladies on this board are very supportive, and have really helped me during this difficult time in my life. I hope you find support here too. I know when you are new it can be a little confusing and difficult to remember all the rules but I kept the blog open and referred to it before clicking post on many of my posts. (I still keep the acronym page open and refer to it constantly.) 

buggirl72

selmasowavy said:

hey there everyone, I unfortunately misscarried on the 5th of April of this year and my hubby and I baby danced two days ago because I believe we are both ready to ttc again however I been very sad and angry and jealous of mothers and mothers to be with their pregnant bellies. also my hubbies brother (my brother in law) is now expecting his 3 child with his girlfriend but its her first pregnancy, I'm happy for them because they are the kindest people ever however, I'm also sad and jealous! and top of all I been diagnosed with acid reflex and gastritis and i just had a endoscopy I'm only 21 and shouldn't be this depress i have loss so much i don't have any family which most are deceased and the others don't care for me. i been emotionally, mentally and physically a wreck! i need some support and I hope you ladies can send me some baby dust. I hope this month I'll be pregnant.

I agree with the PP who suggested that you get your medical issues taken care of first and find out if it is okay for your to TTC from your doctor. You also should look at your anger issues.

As far as how you think you were treated on this board, I suggest lurking and reading other posts. Nobody was mean to you.  You ignored the basic etiquette of this community and are now having a tantrum about how mean people are. 

Poppy715

@bugirl73‌ don't bother. TTGP has declared her posts MUD. She's running all over the boards crying about how awful everyone is who gives her any kind of suggestion or resource. We're all horrible people who she hopes never become mothers. she's moved beyond ignorant into spiteful and malicious.