Mixed Emotions

sunflwra · July 2014

So I received an email notification this morning that I had an update in my OB's online portal. I pull it up to see that my chromosomal testing results were in and are "normal". My husband had his results (normal) as well. That should make me happy, right? As much as a chromosomal abnormality wouldn't have led to an easy road for us (IVF w/PGD), it seemed like a likely diagnosis based on our history and at least it would have given us answers and a clear plan.

So now we continue to wait as I do my thrombolytic blood tests in about a month and we wait for the autopsy results which I'm sure will also take 4-6 weeks to come in. It feels wrong to "hope" that there is something definitive wrong but I just don't know how I would deal with another loss that's deemed a fluke or ends up being unexplained.

Ok- pity party complete, bring on the sangria... lots of it.

TVLily · July 2014

Sending you so many ((hugs)) as I fill up your glass. Results are a double edge sword, we all hope for something that can be fixed/prevented. I hope time passes quickly as the rest if your results and tests are completed.

raelynn71109 · July 2014

I definitely get why you have mixed emotions over your test results. Big, huge ((HUGS)) to you!

skategirl128 · July 2014

So many hugs! Much love also!

meredithcarole · July 2014

((Hugs))

bmblebea · July 2014

Definitely a miz place to be mentally- you never want anything to be wrong but the unknown is just as bad

drink a few sangrias for sure and try to stay in a good headspace - we 're all sending you good vibes!

tlc35 · July 2014

I'm so sorry you don't have any answers I am filling up your glass of sangria and sending hugs.

shandorfml2 · July 2014

Big (((hugs))) wish u had answers!

jbasore1123 · July 2014

I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you hoped for. I get why it's bitter sweet (((hugs))).

MSU_Girl1202 · July 2014

Big ((Hugs)). I think that totally makes sense to feel that way. I feel like with genetic testing and loss, there' no 'good' answer. I'm sorry you haven't gotten any answers hun.

Km380 · July 2014

I'm sorry, I understand what you're saying. We have no answers for both our losses, all normal results. It really is a catch 22. Pour some more sangria dear

mpiemont · July 2014

I think having answers can help but you never want to hear that something is wrong. Such a tough place to be. Sending hugs your way!

jjbmstinco · July 2014

((hugs))

stinybean · July 2014

I think you're feelings are completely reasonable. I hope you get some more definitive answers in the coming weeks. Enjoy your sangria! Yummy! ((Hugs))

LundleBean · July 2014

I don't have a reason either, but we have found a couple of deficiencies that we can fix. Making changes adds a tiny bit of feeling of control.

When our first tests came back 'normal', DH said "That's good", but I felt really uneasy about it. I agree; it's hard to wait for another 'fluke'.

I wish you the best; enjoy your sangria!

kflynn81 · July 2014

I know how it feels to not have answers and be hoping to find something. We've seen so many doctors and genetics counselors and have tests galore done only to still come up empty handed....it sucks, really , a lot....I'm so sorry. Its bad enough to lose a baby but its so hard to not know why (((((((big squishy hugs))))))))))