how do you drink???

credcat7

Help me navigate the whole concept of Mom and Dad wanna drink who has responsibility for the kid?

I already got in a tiff with SO because I asked him why he needed a Costco size bottle of whisky for the weekend. Apparently my question insinuated that I thought he was going to be a sloppy useless drunk all weekend.

So here's my question.  Do you discuss EVERY time who is drinking and who is parenting.  Do you both only drink in moderation?  Do you take turns on who doesn't need to moderate? 

I get all the rage when we hang with family and SO and BIL drink together because they get obnoxious and then my parenting choices get questioned (as in "why does she need to go to bed at 10pm .. its a weekend!" "Why do I have to stop antagonizing her? I 'm just trying to play (as he pokes/tickles/annoys the kid until she is crying" 

Weljadraak

On the day-to-day, we don't get drunk and we wait until LO is sleeping.  Cliché, but moderation is key.  

credcat7

Yeah I see how my post cold make you think this is a bigger problem than it is.

I like to drink to get buzzed.  Thier buzzed is a lot more Buzzed than mine.  BIL def drink in excess but SO doesn't usually, unless he is with BIL it seems.

This hasn't really come up since Sam was born, this will be the first all family cabin weekend and I am dreading it because I have this dread feeling its gonna go down one night.  

Probably overthinking/projecting

BluepointToasted

Yeah, we drink often, but this issue has never come up.  We only get a slight buzz at most at home.  The only time we have more than a couple is when we are out and DS is usually sleeping at my moms. 

jesuisfatiguee

ScoutNumbers05 said:

And if my drunk SO or BIL were making my child cry, I'd burn it down. Do you think he has a drinking problem?

I am extremely sensitive to the idea that it's ok to tickle or poke or tease a small child mercilessly just because they're a child and it's funny to some asshole adult. It might sound silly, but excessive tickling is kind of my hill to die on. It can actually be used as literal torture because the laughter response is hard-wired in and not necessarily a sign of enjoyment or pleasure. 

The best way to teach our sons and daughters about consent is to RESPECT their bodily autonomy and their personal bubbles. 

Weljadraak

OK but if you have a problem with a certain behavior while he drinks, as you say, antagonizing your child, you should be able to have a civilized discussion with him about it. 

minervacullen

DH rarely drinks, like he might have a beer if someone offers and he's being polite.

I'm still breastfeeding so I'll have a glass or two of wine. I know my sisters party Friday will have Jell-O shots, I might have one of those for old times.

So basically we've never had to worry because it's never been an issue. I'm also strongly against drinking excessively with children around. My moms almost ex is an alcoholic and that's influenced me a lot.

ShakeyJakey

SO almost always drinks more and I DD (maybe a glass with dinner). If we are home I drink but don't get drunk unless he's (SO) also there or he's somewhere else safely.

Eta clarity and fwiw we live withing walking distance to a hospital so I feel slightly more comfortable knowing how lose we are

phunkyphish

mcbenny said:

Neither of us drink to get drunk. I like a buzz. I will drink to that and stop or slow down. We don't discuss who is parenting when cause we parent all the time. Only if out, we figure out who is going to drive and not drink.

credcat7

Thanks guys.

Just to clarify noone is in danger or out of control.  There will be no drinking and driving.  The kid is safe and happy.

We have had the discussions well in advance (Hey I wanna have a few drinks tonight blah blah blah) I am just annoyed because last night specifically I tried to have the adult conversation and he went all stupid, so I was curious what you all do.

For the most part we might have a glass of wine or a couple beers if we are drinking.  Cabin life is a little different and involves random shots.  I also am annoyed because his Bro does have a drinking problem and SO knows it and claims that he has no intention of matching him drink for drink, yet there is always one night where it seems it just happens. 

tl:dr Thanks guys for making me feel like a failure and alcoholic (KIDDING) (I KID I KID)

Weljadraak

I have a problem with enabling addicts.

LuckyDad

W doesn't get drunk, and I rarely do. We haven't been drunk together since our honeymoon