Is this weird or am I just looking too much into it?

Tylynngrace

So currently we're living with my parents and DS is their first grand baby. Well this morning my mom changed her profile picture to just a picture of him, I find it weird. She also always wants to take him around her friends and family so they can "meet him" but really she's showing him off like he's hers. Also I've caught her and my dad accidentally calling my mom his mom. It makes me so uncomfortable and it makes me wonder if they intentionally call her that when I'm not around. Oh and whenever he makes a noise she like goes running to him before I even get a chance to do anything. Am I over reacting? Or is this really weird?

cnctf

I dont think its weird that she changed her profile picture to him..Im sure her friends and family know that he isnt her baby so I think shes just overly excited. On the other hand though, I would be slightly annoyed that she keeps running to him before you even did anything for him. Do you have a close relationship with her? Maybe you can tell her that she doesnt need to swoop in everytime he makes a noise. 

ETA: removed quote box. IDK why I quoted you. 

peanutmuse

Profile pic and running to him, not weird.

Calling herself mom, weird.

Rebis58

I don't know about weird, necessarily, but definitely annoying. Profile pic thing is NBD in my opinion. Running to him when he makes a peep would annoy me, but I'd wonder if she's just trying to be helpful. Calling herself Mom is potentially weird, depending on the intent behind it. 

My MIL was holding DD today and called herself Mama, and immediately laughed and acknowledged her mistake, made a comment about "I'm not used to being Gramma yet!" (We just moved closer to her this week, before now she hasn't been around DD much and she's a pretty young grandma). So in that situation it was no big deal and definitely unintentional, but it also isn't a pattern she keeps repeating.

I feel like each thing in isolation is no big deal, but all of those things happening together might be a sign that she's (intentionally or not) crossing some boundaries.

Tylynngrace

I just don't know how to confront her about some of it. It makes me feel like she's trying to be his mom and it's really bugging me and it bugs DH too. Like in the morning I'll bring him into my room and feed him so he can wake DH up with me and my mom comes in and MH is laying there in his underwear and it makes him feel weird.

mommygrams0730

Tylynngrace said:

I just don't know how to confront her about some of it. It makes me feel like she's trying to be his mom and it's really bugging me and it bugs DH too. Like in the morning I'll bring him into my room and feed him so he can wake DH up with me and my mom comes in and MH is laying there in his underwear and it makes him feel weird.

Whoa, boundaries! I'm not sure how to approach it either but that would totally make me uncomfortable!

It sounds like she's very excited about your LO, but I think in order to save your sanity and relationship with your mom you might need to establish some boundaries...like if you guys are in your bedroom it's your family time and you'd prefer that to be considered your own space and for her to at least knock before coming in.

Rebis58

Ah awkward. I agree with @mommygrams. How do you think your mom will react to you asking for a bit of space and family time? It's a tough situation since you're living in their house and I'm sure you're grateful, and depending on how your mom takes constructive criticism she might get upset, but for your family's sake, as well as your relationship and your own sanity, it sounds like a tough conversation is needed.

Tylynngrace

She just gets butt hurt really easily and won't talk to me for a while if I say something she doesn't like. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Luckily we're getting prequalified for a house next week but it's still going to be awhile living here.

Babychuu

Tylynngrace said:

She just gets butt hurt really easily and won't talk to me for a while if I say something she doesn't like. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. Luckily we're getting prequalified for a house next week but it's still going to be awhile living here.

Hmm, if its really bothering you though, you might want to still try to talk to her. Perhaps approach it from the stance that you are a FTM and are really trying to figure this whole thing out. Tell her you really appreciate all the help, but that you really have to learn how to do it by yourself, etc. If she's really sensitive about things, maybe don't make any reference to what SHE does, but talk about it like "I feel like I should really be the one to make the first move to attend to him. I know everyone here loves him and is concerned for him, but I would really prefer that I play the role of the main care taker for now." 

Tylynngrace

@Babychuu‌ I like how you worded it! I might use that.

MH just made it a shit show so now I'm really lost. When my mom came in this morning he told her that I can handle it and that she can get out, and she's not talking to us now.

Babychuu

Tylynngrace said:

@Babychuu‌ I like how you worded it! I might use that. MH just made it a shit show so now I'm really lost. When my mom came in this morning he told her that I can handle it and that she can get out, and she's not talking to us now.

Ut-oh. Is she at least backing off a little now??

Tylynngrace

@Babychuu‌ she backed off a lot to the point of avoiding us and not talking to us

Babychuu

@Tylynngrace Oh, that's what you meant. Ugh, well, I'm sorry that it didn't exactly go well...

Tylynngrace

@Babychuu‌ hopefully it'll pass soon

mommygrams0730

esd said:

Before you permanently damage your relationship, your H needs to apologize. Your parents were kind enough to let you both live in their house.

Then, you all need to sit down and have an adult conversation about boundaries.

Although it wasn't handled well...at least your dh got the ball rolling. I agree am he needs to apologize, and now there is an open window to discuss how to prevent this from happening again.

I know he wasn't tactful but it's great that your dh is standing up for you and his family.

cnctf

I think YH needs to apologize and u guys all really need to talk to one another. You are living in her house, so it makes thing more awkward if you guys aren't speaking

Tylynngrace

I'm definitely going to have him apologize, there's way too much tension right now. I think we'll talk to my mom with my dad since he's really blunt with her and tells her to quit acting like a baby.

Cara1024

My MIL has Holland as her profile pic and banner photo. I'm fine with that. She also shows her off any chance she gets and that's fine to.

But calling herself mom would not be cool.