This toddler bed thing SUCKS

BillyMollyEmmy

Ladies,

I am going bat shit crazy. 

Last week DD climbed out of her crib twice. She was throwing on leg over the side, then the other, then dropping and taking a blow to the chin each time so she could escape. So we changed her crib to a toddler bed. 

Since then, bed time has been a nightmare. It's 11 p.m. or sometimes midnight before we can get her to stay in her bed and go to sleep. Then the next day she is overtired and won't nap and wants to go to bed at dinner time and is literally falling over tired. We let her go to bed last night because we literally could not keep her awake. She slept from 6-7 and then woke up and partied until midnight. 

Help me. I don't know how to fix this! She wants to get out of bed and read books and play with toys and do all the things. I am exhausted!!! 

BeebopandBuddy

I would go into Supernanny mode hard core.

I'm sorry, this is always my greatest fear when it comes to bed transition.

Flamingemu

I haven't transitioned yet so take this with a grain of salt, but what if you removed the books and toys from her room. Then she has nothing to play with.

BillyMollyEmmy

Flamingemu said:

I haven't transitioned yet so take this with a grain of salt, but what if you removed the books and toys from her room. Then she has nothing to play with.

I will have to put them in totes! 

We're in renovation mode right now, so her usual play space in our living room is currently in her room! I try to keep it organized so it's not toy chaos for her to look at all night - but I can see where it would be tempting to get out of bed and play. 

Maybe I also just need to do a toy clean out since she has a zillion things. 

BillyMollyEmmy

BeebopandBuddy said:

I would go into Supernanny mode hard core.

I'm sorry, this is always my greatest fear when it comes to bed transition.

Can you elaborate on Supernanny? I am desperate haha

ShadowsRainFalls

I would just let her play. It's going to happen for a few weeks. I would DEF. remove all sound making/noisy toys though. 

When we transitioned, we were ready to just have him play all night long until he passed out on the floor. I wasn't going to go on. Bedtime is bedtime. You are in your room and that's that. I figured he would eventually get tired and go to sleep. He only did this a VERY little bit at naps,and then would climb into bed and fall asleep. 

That's my take anyways. We close the door at night though and have a handle lock on the door so he can't get out.I watch him on my foscam camera from downstairs.

Holly_1007

Super nanny you would need a video monitor for. Every time she got out of bed you would have to go in her room and put her back in bed immediately. No eye contact, not stimulation, *maybe* repeat the same phrase:"it's time for bed now" (or something similar) Sit outside her door and just.keep.doing it. I would also put another vote in for taking everything out of her room. I mean, your renovating anyway so you're house is chaotic enough I'm sure, what's an extra dresser in the middle of the hallway?

BillyMollyEmmy

Holly_1007 said:

Super nanny you would need a video monitor for. Every time she got out of bed you would have to go in her room and put her back in bed immediately. No eye contact, not stimulation, *maybe* repeat the same phrase:"it's time for bed now" (or something similar) Sit outside her door and just.keep.doing it. I would also put another vote in for taking everything out of her room. I mean, your renovating anyway so you're house is chaotic enough I'm sure, what's an extra dresser in the middle of the hallway?

hahahaha true story.  

BeebopandBuddy

You can watch some of them on YouTube but it's basically no verbals or eye contact and putting them back in the bed over and over until they realize you aren't going to stop.

MississippiCatfish

I'm so sorry. I'm terrified of that transition. Hope some of the other mamas' advice works!!

kelbel527

Holly_1007 said:

Super nanny you would need a video monitor for. Every time she got out of bed you would have to go in her room and put her back in bed immediately. No eye contact, not stimulation, *maybe* repeat the same phrase:"it's time for bed now" (or something similar) Sit outside her door and just.keep.doing it. I would also put another vote in for taking everything out of her room. I mean, your renovating anyway so you're house is chaotic enough I'm sure, what's an extra dresser in the middle of the hallway?

We've done this.  It helped, I just wasn't as consistent as I needed to be.  But with how it's going right now for you, I would definitely try this and stick to it.

From what I've read, the longer they're out of bed, the more they think it's ok.  So sitting outside her door so that you can intervene immediately, helps.  It will probably take several days, if not longer, to do this over and over until she realizes that there is no benefit to leaving bed, and she'll stay in bed.  

And take out the toys and books.  We no longer keep anything but books in our older kid's room because he has trouble going to sleep at night.  He's allowed to read books before bed, so we keep those, but no toys.  Right now, that means we have a toy shelf in our living room.

BeebopandBuddy

Holly_1007 said:

Super nanny you would need a video monitor for. Every time she got out of bed you would have to go in her room and put her back in bed immediately. No eye contact, not stimulation, *maybe* repeat the same phrase:"it's time for bed now" (or something similar) Sit outside her door and just.keep.doing it. I would also put another vote in for taking everything out of her room. I mean, your renovating anyway so you're house is chaotic enough I'm sure, what's an extra dresser in the middle of the hallway?

You shouldn't need a video monitor, just sit in the doorway or right outside the door so you can see/hear when she gets up.

BillyMollyEmmy

Okay. I am going to do a major overhaul of her room, then. I have two empty totes so I guess she'll be getting some of her toys put away! 

I feel like putting her back in bed and not talking to her is so heartless but she has to get the message. 

Eastie156

BillyMollyEmmy said:

Okay. I am going to do a major overhaul of her room, then. I have two empty totes so I guess she'll be getting some of her toys put away! 

I feel like putting her back in bed and not talking to her is so heartless but she has to get the message. 

I'm sorry the transition has been rough. Maybe you could treat it the same way as when they were infants and you went in to their room in the middle of the night to feed? We always went in quietly, fed and went right back to sleep. No talking, singing, etc. Just quietly. It doesn't have to be mean, just quiet and to the point, kwim?

BillyMollyEmmy

Eastie156 said:

BillyMollyEmmy said:

Okay. I am going to do a major overhaul of her room, then. I have two empty totes so I guess she'll be getting some of her toys put away! 

I feel like putting her back in bed and not talking to her is so heartless but she has to get the message. 

I'm sorry the transition has been rough. Maybe you could treat it the same way as when they were infants and you went in to their room in the middle of the night to feed? We always went in quietly, fed and went right back to sleep. No talking, singing, etc. Just quietly. It doesn't have to be mean, just quiet and to the point, kwim?

Very true. I will try this tonight

thebanich

We transitioned Lilly right at 2. She honestly didn't try at first until I made the mistake of pointing out to her that she could get up herself (she was screaming at me at 6am to come get her while I was nursing Finn). Dumbest move ever. After that we had to set up camp outside of her room for a while and that deterred her from getting up. Then she stayed.


Now we have regressed (this happens every time we go out of town) and are back to putting her back in bed 5-10 times. (:|

Holly_1007

Super nanny you would need a video monitor for. Every time she got out of bed you would have to go in her room and put her back in bed immediately. No eye contact, not stimulation, *maybe* repeat the same phrase:"it's time for bed now" (or something similar) Sit outside her door and just.keep.doing it. I would also put another vote in for taking everything out of her room. I mean, your renovating anyway so you're house is chaotic enough I'm sure, what's an extra dresser in the middle of the hallway?

You shouldn't need a video monitor, just sit in the doorway or right outside the door so you can see/hear when she gets up.
****** I don't know what happened to my quote boxes, sorry. Anyway, all our kids sleep with closed doors because of the dogs, plus their rooms are carpeted. I definitely see what you are saying how it *could* be done without a video monitor! just probably not for us haha

enjoylife

We've transitioned both boys before they were 18 months and before they could open doors. We don't keep toys in the rooms like pp mention, but they both have some reading books a stuffed animal or two and that's it. The first few weeks they play or read for a little bit sometimes falling asleep on the floor but they didn't know how to open doors so they couldn't get out and they'd get bored and go to sleep. Everything else is anchored or latched away (boringest kids rooms ever I'm sure). Now they fall asleep in bed within minutes. Ds1 is 3 1/2 and we've been leaving his bedroom door open at naps/bedtimes for about 8-9 months because he doesn't like to be shut in and he doesn't leave the room until naps are over or it's morning and we are callin for him. Ds2 has recently figured out doorknobs (but only sometimes) and he lets himself out so we put the covers on as well and he's back to knowing when it's bed/nap time that it's no longer playtime out with us without protest. Hang in there and be consistent. We couldn't do the "super nanny" with our boys they would have gotten all worked up each time seeing us.

watercolor5

I think the only reason our bed transition went so easily was because we had just moved and the only things in Sophia's new room was her bed and a rocking chair.  Since then she has made sure she has a couple of dolls, a book, a few lovies, a monkey pillow, blankets for her dolls, etc, but there really is nothing else to play with in there and everything can be played with in bed. 

She of course gets out of bed and wanders around the room and I've seen her  baby doll sitting up in the rocking chair multiple times, but she's never played for longer than half an hour.  (I think the times she's fallen asleep on the floor was cause she played to the point of exhaustion though.)

I'd take it out in totes or designate a new play area somewhere else in the house, but make her bedroom all about sleep.

Sorry you're going through such a rough transition!

ETA: We don't go back in her room for playing sounds or normal fussing sounds- just if her crying starts to amp up and we want to make sure nothing is wrong.

JulesDiane

I dread this. DD will be the same exact way, I know it. I am sorry you are going through this, and I hope it get's better soon. I agree with the trying the super nanny thing. That is what we tried with DD1. It's not a fun process. We also had to remove all toys and books from the room for awhile. Good luck.

Holly_1007

How's it going @BillyMollyEmmy‌

Cheenomae

Sorry to hear it's been a rough transition. We transitioned DD 5 weeks after her second birthday. It was flawless. Until one day....many many weeks after transitioned. She learned on her own what kind of freedom she actually had. She would tear pages out of her books to the point we had to live with them in the hall for a few weeks. She also got into all her creams and vaseline and put it EVERYWHERE. I learned quick to remove everything. We also told her that he feet better not touch that floor until we come in and get her. One night I saw her climbing from her bed to her dresser via her bookshelf and she called me out that her feet never hit the floor. That was closer to 3 years old....but I swear...these kids always find a way to outsmart us!!

Hope it's getting better BME!

BPer

Holly_1007 said:

How's it going @BillyMollyEmmy‌

I was just going to ask this.

I meant to post in here yesterday as we just transitioned DD as well.

I am not sure she has figured out that she's not just in a really big crib now.  We have the rails up on the sides, and pillows on either side of her so she feels confined.  So far, so good...but we haven't had to deal with a nap yet because we were so on-the-go this last weekend.

hmp1

We still hang out in James room in the chair for a bit until he is about to fall asleep. He won't get out of bed or make any sounds if one of us is in there. It doesn't take long.

BillyMollyEmmy

Hi everyone,

Sorry for not responding sooner!!

Actually, things are going REALLY well now. 

Our house was really warm, so we installed the air conditioner, which seemed to really calm her down at night. She gets a drink of water in bed with her (we are really careful with this but it also seems to calm her down). 

I moved her IKEA toy bench into her room, which may seem counter productive, but I was able to put all her toys into bins so they're all put away at the end of the night and are less visible to her from across the room, if that makes sense. 

Last night she actually brought her blanket to me and asked me to come to bed and cuddle her. She went down no problem after taking her back into her room about three times - which is a HUGE improvement over last week. 

As suggested, I silently picked her up and put her back in her bed. After a few times she didn't come out again! 

YAY!