I'm usually not one to stick my nose into other people's business, but I have to take a moment out of my life to call some of you out. I'm sure by the end of this you'll feel something. Whether it's anger at me, happiness that someone is speaking out , if you've been a victim, or if it just simply changes some of the opinions you had on things. What I'm asking before I go on is that you keep an open mind and read this until I finish. A lot of moms, specifically second or (whatever) time mommies, like to attack other people who are trying to find a parenting style that works for them. The whole breast is best policy isn't the only way to feed a Child. C'mon we all know this. We should also all know that is is never okay to ostracize, criticize, or call another woman selfish if she choose NOT to feed from her natural supply, or CANNOT feed from her natural supply. There are many different reasons a woman decides to choose the path she takes... And I'm sure you and your very opinionated self were not on her things to worry about. Trust me she has 1,000 other things she's worried about. Also, there are some of you against keeping pets, against having intercourse while pregnant, against this against that, yatta yatta. I could go on all day. But think about this... How did you feel during your pregnancy when 50 different people wanted to put their input in on your parenting style. I'm sure my mom got shit for spanking me, but I sure as he'll love her for it. Let me set you straight now I was NEVER beaten or mistreated as I child. I was actually spoiled as hell, but nothing kept me in line more than a good old fashion hand to the bottom. I turned out just fine without breast milk, my mother was probably sexually active while pregnant... Not that'd I know or anything but isn't that how I got here? I graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, and I'm in college now focusing on what's best for me and my soon to be family. The point is there are so many ways to parent. Your way isn't the right way. Your words as parents can hurt people, and they stick to your children who learn all of life's lessons from their own life and your teachings. No one wants to raise the bully who forces other children to self harm, no one wants to see their child in jail for a hate crime. Please realize your fault as parents, take some responsibility and clean up your language to other people and around your children. Judgemental parents call for judgmental children. Just think how much better we'd all be if we minded our own business.
I'm on my cell phone sorry for a lot of those oopsies in there. I'm kinda new to this app so I'm also not sure if I can edit. I'm sure my point is still clearly delivered.
I'm not sure I understand. My impression of the board is that it's pretty anti-judgy, especially when it comes to BFing and parenting. Am I missing something?
A.) I have no clue to what posts the OP is referring. O_o The only thing I can think of is that some of us second time moms have pulled the "just you wait" card, but really, when we say "just you wait," it's saying we know better now than we did in the shoes of FTM and that FTM shouldn't get their hearts set on one thing because being inflexible in how you are going to parent is NOT helpful when you get a kid who doesn't care about being told no or being put in time out or whatever method you think now is best for a kid who you haven't actually met yet. I really hope whatever method of parenting a mom chooses works for her and her children and any SOs, family, or friends helping with her children, but the reality is if you decide you will NEVER do X, X might actually be all that works for your child and you won't know if you have ruled it out.
B.) Judgemental parents =/= judgemental children. Some of us (well, maybe not, but definitely I) have super judgy parents and AREN'T judgy because we HATED the comments and comparisons growing up and just don't give a flying fuck what anyone else does as long as that parent isn't beating their kid and the kid is being fed, clothed, and loved.
This is odd. There are maybe a handful of people who have come to this board and insisted that their way is the "right" way, but the majority of the posters respond with some form of "everyone should do what's best for them and their child".
I'm not sure why you felt this post was necessary.
Look, if you are seeking validation from the internet about your parenting choices, you are looking in the wrong place. Everyone here wants to do what is best for their kids. If you ask for an opinion, as a second time mom, I will give it to you. It probably won't line up 100% with what you want to hear. We know you are trying your best. We all are. Its just very easy to take things personally when the conversation is so near and dear to your heart.
This is why when I ask for internet opinions it is usually about things that are fun for me to discuss, like who was the greatest baseball player of all time. I have a soft spot for The Babe, but would love to see how he stacks up against some of the modern players.
TLDR I don't care what you do with your boobs, but if you ask, I will tell you what I did with mine.
And FYI, I'm completely comfortable with the choices I made for DD and will make for this next baby. I don't need anyone on a chatboard defending me because I'm what you might call an adult.
I'm on my cell phone sorry for a lot of those oopsies in there. I'm kinda new to this app so I'm also not sure if I can edit. I'm sure my point is still clearly delivered.
User Banned
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honestly, the only time i've ever seen major backlash around here is when someone IS especially judgy, not the other way around (especially when said militant/judgy person doesn't actually have a child yet, but somehow has everything all figured out and is openly criticizing other moms)...
BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010 BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
Lurking from July 2014 but I would just like to point out that after the grand announcement that she had to "call some people out," OP did not in fact call anyone out.
I'm usually not one to stick my nose into other people's business, but I have to take a moment out of my life to call some of you out. I'm sure by the end of this you'll feel something. Whether it's anger at me, happiness that someone is speaking out , if you've been a victim, or if it just simply changes some of the opinions you had on things. What I'm asking before I go on is that you keep an open mind and read this until I finish. A lot of moms, specifically second or (whatever) time mommies, like to attack other people who are trying to find a parenting style that works for them. The whole breast is best policy isn't the only way to feed a Child. C'mon we all know this. We should also all know that is is never okay to ostracize, criticize, or call another woman selfish if she choose NOT to feed from her natural supply, or CANNOT feed from her natural supply. There are many different reasons a woman decides to choose the path she takes... And I'm sure you and your very opinionated self were not on her things to worry about. Trust me she has 1,000 other things she's worried about. Also, there are some of you against keeping pets, against having intercourse while pregnant, against this against that, yatta yatta. I could go on all day. But think about this... How did you feel during your pregnancy when 50 different people wanted to put their input in on your parenting style. I'm sure my mom got shit for spanking me, but I sure as he'll love her for it. Let me set you straight now I was NEVER beaten or mistreated as I child. I was actually spoiled as hell, but nothing kept me in line more than a good old fashion hand to the bottom. I turned out just fine without breast milk, my mother was probably sexually active while pregnant... Not that'd I know or anything but isn't that how I got here? I graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, and I'm in college now focusing on what's best for me and my soon to be family. The point is there are so many ways to parent. Your way isn't the right way. Your words as parents can hurt people, and they stick to your children who learn all of life's lessons from their own life and your teachings. No one wants to raise the bully who forces other children to self harm, no one wants to see their child in jail for a hate crime. Please realize your fault as parents, take some responsibility and clean up your language to other people and around your children. Judgemental parents call for judgmental children. Just think how much better we'd all be if we minded our own business.
QFP
dx: Unexplained IF TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3
TI, 2 IUI = BFN
IVF #1 (May 2013): Antagonist
Protocol: 24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2
early blasts, no frosties = BFN
IVF #2 (August 2013): Lupron Stop
Protocol: 28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1
partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d) FET #1 (April 2014): transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP C.J. born 01/09/15
I'm on my cell phone sorry for a lot of those oopsies in there. I'm kinda new to this app so I'm also not sure if I can edit. I'm sure my point is still clearly delivered.
At least until September when I have to go back to work and my travel kicks back up.
User Banned
You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
@indojay3 (if this isn't MUD), I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you feel this way.
If you spent any time on this board, you would see that most people are pretty open-minded about things like formula vs. breast milk, sex during pregnancy, etc.
It seems like you feel like you've been attacked and abused in the past. My mom has a lot of opinions about things, and I've just learned to say, "Oh, thanks for that advice. I will take it into consideration, and DH and I will do what we feel is best for our family."
Re: Judgemental Parents=Judgemental Children
I feel like this post is trying to start/perpetuate some "mommy wars."
Look, if you are seeking validation from the internet about your parenting choices, you are looking in the wrong place. Everyone here wants to do what is best for their kids. If you ask for an opinion, as a second time mom, I will give it to you. It probably won't line up 100% with what you want to hear. We know you are trying your best. We all are. Its just very easy to take things personally when the conversation is so near and dear to your heart.
This is why when I ask for internet opinions it is usually about things that are fun for me to discuss, like who was the greatest baseball player of all time. I have a soft spot for The Babe, but would love to see how he stacks up against some of the modern players.
TLDR I don't care what you do with your boobs, but if you ask, I will tell you what I did with mine.
<p align="center"
BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
i vote troll.
BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
*********************************************************
Carry on.
Did I miss something while sleeping til noon today?
DSS: 15 DS: 7
DD born 1/3/15
J15 June Siggy Challenge - Fave TV Dad (Sandy Cohen)
dx: Unexplained IF
TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN
IVF #1 (May 2013): Antagonist Protocol:
24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
IVF #2 (August 2013): Lupron Stop Protocol:
28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
FET #1 (April 2014): transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP
C.J. born 01/09/15
If you spent any time on this board, you would see that most people are pretty open-minded about things like formula vs. breast milk, sex during pregnancy, etc.
It seems like you feel like you've been attacked and abused in the past. My mom has a lot of opinions about things, and I've just learned to say, "Oh, thanks for that advice. I will take it into consideration, and DH and I will do what we feel is best for our family."
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I don't think a tl;dr would help in this case :P