Vent: Frustrating Comment

JoJo716

Warning: Sensitive regarding birth story (but not a full birth story)

So today I went to the baby shower of a close friend. I was talking to her mom and she said out of the blue, "You know "mom to be's name" has decided that she does not want to be induced and I think that is great. They just want things to be natural. I think it is terrible when women have their labor induced." I was really shocked because this woman knows that I went in to be induced but ended up having an emergency csection. I am still really emotional about my delivery and have a lot of guilt. I agonized at 41 weeks whether or not to be induced. At the time, we did not know ds was struggling and when we went in for the induction, we realized he was not doing so well. In our situation, the decision to be induced when I did probably saved his life. It just irritates me when people assume that anyone getting an induction is doing it for the wrong reasons. I also feel people make a lot of assumptions about what they would do in situations they have never been in. I am probably too sensitive about this topic but it really hurt my feelings and brought up some painful memories. Sorry for the vent and being a downer but I feel like you guys get it. Thanks for being here

CNJ4EVA

I also had an induction that ended in cs.
This is nothing to feel guilty about. It's a decision made with guidance from MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS.

That woman is an ignorant asshole!
Edit because infection does not equal induction.

D&S724

Don't let anyone make you feel bad.  I was induced with 2 out of 3 pregnancies.  It happens, and my kids are fine.  It used to bother me when people make ignorant comments like that (I have a friend who is very anti-induction, anti-epidural, etc.) but now I just shrug it off. 

bumpuser3155624

I went into the end of my pregnancy not wanting to get induced or have any meds. That is what a lot of mommas want. But after going overdue and having high bp doctor recommended induction so I listened.

You didnt get induced for some dumb reason like picking LOs bday. You did it bc your doctor said it was best for you and baby. It sucks that some people just don't get that....and some never will.

Boo0512

I was induced at 40w6d and really didn't want to be but that is what my doc recommended.

Both DD and I had complications and of course I wonder was it the induction? Was it my epidural? Who knows though? Stuff happens and hindsight is 20/20.

Sounds like in your situation it was an absolute blessing that you were induced.

Everyone has an opinion but all that matters is that you and your LO are healthy. Sorry this woman made you feel bad about your birth experience

JoJo716

Thank you all so much for the support. It is so amazing to have a place to come and share with women who have had similar experiences and can understand. @nonniedee that was almost our experience exactly.

beatlechicksteph

I was induced at 37w4d because I went in for my appointment and it turned out I had pre-eclampsia. My entire birth plan went out the window after that. 

I hate that that woman was rude to you. I wish people would just mind their beeswax and realize that it doesn't matter how your baby comes into the world, just that both mommy and baby are healthy and safe through the experience. 

ALP514

That would have rubbed me the wrong way as well. Everyone goes through their own experience and shit happens. I was induced at 39 weeks because I had GD and was borderline Pre-E. I also ended in emergency C-Section and it saved my daughters life. 

Everyone goes into pregnancy with a plan and things don't always go as planned. That is life. Screw her!! 

Edited to add :: the cord was the issue for us as well! 

NDarya

Before I gave birth I took hypnobirthing classes and was all about natural birth. I was so ignorant to think that induction, epidural and c-section are for the weak (what a horrible thought!). Thank goodness I never shared those thoughts with anybody except my DH. I skipped the whole chapters about c-sections in the books. I was only prepared for the "birth plan" scenario. 

I wasn't induced I went into labor on my own, but after 5 hours of back labor I told myself: "F**k this sh*t I want epidural!" I ended up with an emergency c-section after 24 hours of labor and 1,5 hour of pushing. And I was so not ready for that mentally I almost hated myself for being so narrow-minded. I don't feel guilt about my birth experience anymore. I moved on long time ago. The whole story taught me a good but such a painful lesson. But I still meet a lot of people who make comments like OP mentioned. And I tell them: "Well, good luck to you! Hope everything goes as you wish it!" We can only learn from our own mistakes. 

Lolalipsy

I know that feeling of agonising over that decision but you did the best thing possible.

I went in for an induction and ended with an emergency c section as well. I wouldn't change that decision for the world.

It's not "how " they get here that matters is that they arrive safely.

She's just twatful if she knew and still said that anyway.

HZ2012

I was induced due to high fluid and ended up with an emergency c/s also.

First, hopefully this lady won't be biting her tongue in a few weeks/ months when her daughter is closer to giving birth - because you just never know what the baby has planned - and we all know it's up to them.

Second, so what if you got induced? Obviously it seems like you wanted natural, and I'm sorry you didn't end up with that, but what's with this woman passing judgement on induction? Does she have her facts straight? Is she an OB?

Third, I'm sorry you had to deal with this insensitivity from someone who knows you and your story. It sucks, people can be totally thoughtless at times. Thank g-d you were able to go home and squeeze and kiss your LO.

botanicalbliss

I wish people would just keep their opinions to themselves.  Each birth is so different - there is no one correct way to do it.

smg2302

I think @beatlechicksteph and @lolalipsy are absolutely right, it doesn't matter how they come into the world as long as they arrive.  I hate that women can be so judgey to each other, especially a more "experienced" mom, when that kind of decision no longer impacts her.  I'm sorry you experienced that level of rudeness.

FmrAFBrat

I was induced at 40 weeks with my ODS exactly because my water broke the night before and my attempts to go into labor myself were a total fail. I actually had to have fluid inserted in me because the lack of water was causing my son distress. I also was hooked up to internal monitors, couldn't move, and was forced to get an epidural in the event I needed a csection. We didn't end up with a csection and DS came out safely, which is what matters in the end. Nothing went according to plan.

I think there is way too much pressure on moms from the get go & this is the number 1 example.

caden1206

Inductions save lives. To make such a blanket statement would just show your ignorance regarding the subject. I am sorry she made you feel that way. You obviously did what was right and necessary.

coffeeandbooks

Yeah, totally annoying comment.  I was well over two weeks late and was also induced.    There are risks to waiting too long past your due date and risks to induction.   Parents have to weigh carefully agonize) about what is best for their baby and at the end of the day they have to do what they think is best for their baby's health.
Yeah, it would have been nice to have a natural birth but every day your baby is late you start to think about whether they are doing well in the womb and the more days that pass the more you worry.
Tell that women the most important thing is the health of your baby!

Blueyed228

I love when non-medical professionals make statements about medical issues they know nothing about.

Worked out well for people like Jenny McCarthy.

c-elizabethf

DD had the cord wrapped around her neck and i was induced, and if i hadn't been who knows what would have happen. Ignorant statements like that deserve a throat punch. You did what was right for your lo. 

blush64

I would have been upset and depending on my mood I probably would have spoken up. Inductions, as so many PP have said, can save lives and prevent problems. That woman sounds ignorant.

I also was induced with my third. I was barely a week over my date but it was for medical reasons. I was very upset about it for many reasons but after a second and third opinion I was induced. The guilt I felt was huge and the induction played a role in the depression I suffered after. I still feel badly about it even though I know it was necessary. (Still working through some stuff to be honest so I cam be sensitive to comments like that) The induction went smoothly although my body was unfavourable for an induction. (According to my ob.)

pnutg

I had no emergency, was just in SO much pain I knew my baby needed out. I asked for an induction at 40w2d. And my baby came out 9 lbs 6 oz. My OB said later that she was glad I asked to be induced because they would have easily let me go to 42 weeks and my baby would have been too big to deliver vaginally.

Clearly everyone's experience was different and the reasons for their inductions were different. Thank God for modern medicine.

aintnoyuppiemom

You know I do not understand the whole planning a birth thing. There is no perfect scenario and I think if anything those of use who have needed to be induced or C-section (me included) are not the bad mothers.

The bad mothers are the ones that make a "birth plan" and will stick to it to the point that it will hurt the baby. Having a birth plan is great if it makes you feel better going in, but sometimes you have to add an escape clause to the bottom of that that states: 'This is my birth plan provided my delivery is perfect, however for the sake of my baby's and my health I will do whatever needs to be done.'

Some parents forget that and I judge them harder then I judge myself I have a healthy little boy because I knew better. And so did the rest of you.