First time holding a baby since m/c

CreechMommy

My friend has a 5 month old baby.  The other night we were over at their house for dinner.  She also has two other children (both toddlers) and has her hands full a lot.  She often will pass the baby off to whoever is closest when she needs to tend to the others.  We were talking before dinner and before I knew it she was handing the baby to me so she could go help one of the other ones.  I don't think she realized what she was doing and I didn't have time to think.  All I knew was I was holding the very thing I lost.  It was bittersweet.  Part of me wanted to bust into tears and the other part wanted to hold him close and smell his wonderful baby smell.  I opted for the second option.  For the past 4 weeks I've been aching to hold my little one and for a moment I was able to pretend this little baby was mine. Baby fever is worse than ever!!

I believe the majority of my gut wrenching grief is over and I'm moving in the the "acceptance phase" with the occasional denial or anger creeping in.  But there's a thought that pop into my head at least once a day, "why can't I still be pregnant" 

ho hum....

Hugs to all the ladies out there dealing with this messy thing called grief.

stephy1221

I am glad that you feel you are getting to a better place. It is a hard road.

LisaG09

I'm glad you got to enjoy a little baby. My best friend is due the same time as I would've been. I know that when her baby comes I will be there for her. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be but I'm glad that I still have four months to be ready for it.

CreechMommy

It all happens for people in different timing. I'm still not there. I still float back and forth between denial anger depression and acceptance. It is tricky and there is no formula for it. Praying you find some peace soon