Holy hell with the questions! — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

Holy hell with the questions!

I'm super wine drunk so apologies in advance. Yay for auto correct.

A dear old friend of mine came over tonight.. my prom date in fact. So we are sitting with the 'rents drinking...A lot.. and he starts in with the "when are you having another?". Of course my parents and the wine ask too. We are not telling anyone we are TFAS because we don't want the pressure. So I manage to redirect the conversation to how my friend met his boyfriend but not until I had to run defense. Ugh! I told them all I was so glad they had such an interest in my uterus.

Why?? What's the intense fascination with my reproductive system?? I have one... She's smart, she's beautiful (I know this because I hear it from random strangers everywhere I go) I did good... now leave me alone!!!



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Re: Holy hell with the questions!

  • Word. People have been all up in my business about TFAS. Usually when they ask when we're going to have another, I say "You'll be the first to know." I might start going with,"We'll see." That seems pretty non-committal. Or maybe even, "Another what?"

    You'd think having one smart and beautiful child would make people leave you alone. WRONG. Instead, they tell you you just HAVE TO have more, because you make such beautiful babies.

    I've also been drinking wine.
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    SpartanChick88
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  • @redheadscu1‌ exactly! I thought we were done with this but I guess not. I reminded my parents that I got an IUD last year. No one needs to know it's not still there. What if we really were OAD? Why do I have to defend that decision? Glad this doesn't come up often but they were all really persistent last night and I felt pretty cornered.



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    redheadscu1
  • edited June 2014
    @WhoCanItBeNow‌ I tried the I don't know.. maybe someday answer first. From there it snowballed.

    edit: just re-read that.. gotcha.



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  • People are very nosy about TTC, and I really don't get why people think it's acceptable. I have coworkers I hardly know asking me when we will TTC! My parents are actually not that bad since they know we want children and (hopefully) will have some soon. I usually just say "hopefully soon" and change the subject. I've also said "we are not telling". People are just rude!
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  • I'm in the military, and the people in my unit are truly like a family to me - so they constantly ask invasive questions. Typically I don't have issues answering them to them, but one guy always asks, in front of everyone, "are you pregnant yet?" And I'll just say well no, and then he says "when are you going to get pregnant?" I just say" idk next year maybe? I've got a lot going on." I've also been known to say "whenever I feel like it" and then just turn the subject
    Married July 19, 2014.
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  • It is interesting that it's such a comfortable thing for people to ask. I usually tell people we're one and done. It's a bald faced lie, but I'm not a fan of chit chatting about my sex life.
  • DD is 5, so we've been asked a million times when we're going to have another, pretty much from the moment I popped her out. It's never bothered me. Family & friends are interested in our life, what's the problem? It's not like they're asking how often you & your husband are getting it on or what position you're most fond of.
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  • DD is 5, so we've been asked a million times when we're going to have another, pretty much from the moment I popped her out. It's never bothered me. Family & friends are interested in our life, what's the problem? It's not like they're asking how often you & your husband are getting it on or what position you're most fond of.

    I guess the problem for me is that I don't like to be reminded of my MC (who would've been #2) on days that I'm not otherwise thinking about it. I'm not mad at them for asking, but it is an uncomfortable subject for that reason.

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  • DD is 5, so we've been asked a million times when we're going to have another, pretty much from the moment I popped her out. It's never bothered me. Family & friends are interested in our life, what's the problem? It's not like they're asking how often you & your husband are getting it on or what position you're most fond of.

    I guess the problem for me is that I don't like to be reminded of my MC (who would've been #2) on days that I'm not otherwise thinking about it. I'm not mad at them for asking, but it is an uncomfortable subject for that reason.


    ----end quote

    I can see where you're coming from on that & I'm sorry for your loss. I just see so many people here getting worked up because people are "interested in their sex life." I don't get it.

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    BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014
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  • I always just say "we'll see" or "someday." I think people are curious by nature and want to know, but I think that giving a quick response and moving on are key.
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  • Fortunately it didn't come up yesterday. I'm thinking it was the wine for my parents because we have had this talk. My friend didn't know better because we have never talked about it. Hopefully I will be able to shock my folks soon!



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  • I get asked all the time. We are TFAS and have had 3 MC in 16 mo. Every time I get asked, I just want to say F-off, mind your own business. Worst is my SIL, who I see once every couple months. Keeps telling me "you're only getting older" etc.

    Us TTC women have enough internal pressure, we don't need input from the peanut gallery too.
    SpartanChick88
  • I feel for you!! DH and I have been married 3 weeks. We have been living together for awhile and are in our 30s. Every one knows we plan to TTC right away. but everyone feels they need to know when I'm fertile and when we are doing the deed!! Our families and friends need a new topic so I can relax! Too much pressure!
    "Where there is love there is life"-Gandhi

    [Deleted User]
  • I feel for you!! DH and I have been married 3 weeks. We have been living together for awhile and are in our 30s. Every one knows we plan to TTC right away. but everyone feels they need to know when I'm fertile and when we are doing the deed!! Our families and friends need a new topic so I can relax! Too much pressure!

    ------
    The pressure is exactly why we aren't telling anyone! That doesn't seem to stop them though ;)



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  • luckylucy099luckylucy099
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
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    edited July 2014
    I've openly told only certain people we're trying. Everyone knows I've always wanted children, so they leave us alone. That being said, what really got under our skin was my EMPLOYER asking - 3 weeks before our wedding!
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  • DH and I have been married for nearly 4 years. We got married young, but we still got the questioning right away. Obviously I was uncomfortable when they asked, so eventually I just started saying "we'll see". Seems like after saying that, people have backed up and asked less frequently. Very non-comitting!


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