Grandparent names - wwyd?

cetrump1123

This has been on my mind for a little while. I come from a very traditional family and my parents are still married (29 years!). They also only live about 5 minutes from us and will see the baby very often so I have encouraged them to start thinking about what they want to be called. Maybe it's selfish of me bc they are my parents but I want them to have the names they choose since it'll be used very often. It gets sticky when I begin to think about DH's family. They live about 2 hours away and his dad is on his third marriage. DH's mom and dad split when he was really young and his dad remarried to wife #2. They then split after 17 years of marriage. She is still a part of DH's life and we get together with her and her family at holidays. His dad then married his third wife 4 or 5 years ago. How do we go about choosing names for all these grandparent figures? His mom and dad will definitely be referred to as something, I just am at a lost as to what to call wife 2 and 3 or if we even give them any title at all. I am just afraid it'll be so confusing for a little girl to have to try and remember who is who. Maybe I am just overthinking it which is why I haven't said anything to my husband about it yet because I know that's what he will tell me. He will just brush it off.

Emerald27

It won't be hard for your LO to figure out who is who. Even if everyone goes by Grandma and Grandpa, it won't be a problem. My DS has 2 Grandpas, one Grandma, and a "Geppie"...he named her, and we have no idea where that came from!

He knows which Grandpa is which. Calls them both Grandpa without confusion.

And there are so many options out there! Grandma, Grandpa, Granny, Granddaddy, Grandmother, Grandfather, Nana, Papa, Gram, Grammie, Gramps, etc... it wouldn't be tough for everyone to have different names if that's important to them.

narabug

My ILs do Grandma FN or Grandpa LN depending on who's talking. Is that an option?

Aurora1181

My SIL has the only grandchild so far.. so her son (who is 2) basically named everyone. SIL had names she wanted him to call everyone, but I think only one of them stuck. The rest have been random! As PP's said, there are soooo many names.. and you can always do what @narabug suggested and do "Grandpa Joe" and "Grandpa Smith" to separate two different grandpas or whatever.

Sockgnome78

Or you can just let the grand parents choose. My mom has decided that since she is not close to my brother and his family (3 kids). She wants to be call Gammy with this mine. I think it is a dig towards my brother but if that is the name she choose. Other wise DH parents have already been determined my other grand kids. My dad is grandpa and his wife is FNma. It works.

golfingdarwinfish

One of my aunt's has had 3 husbands and all 3 men are in her granddaughter's life.  Add to that the paternal grandparents and the little girl has 4 grandfathers.  It's not "too confusing for a little girl" - she has no idea it's "confusing" unless someone tells her, and won't know what it means to have 4 grandfathers until she inquires and then she will be provided a response that I'm sure my cousin and her husband have put much thought into.

Children aren't born into the world somehow thinking they should only have 2 grandparents.    She will learn each of them just as she does everyone else she encounters. 

I would just do Grandma last name, Grandma last initial, or even Mrs. X - if that is what one of them wants to be called and you were comfortable with that. If they have to have different names and grandma x,y,z is unacceptable than like Emerald said, there are tons of titles to choose from, and to her list I would add nonna, nana and nanny (I don't like this one but know people who have used it).  

AmandaJean12

I guess I don't get the confusing thing. We always had "Grandma (first name)", "Aunt (first name)"... Doesn't matter how many there are.

Plus, kids develop their own names for people. I wouldn't overthink it.

cetrump1123

I think part of my apprehension is stemming from past issues with all the moms. Separately I enjoy them all, but when we got married last August there was some drama between all the moms on his side. You would think that adults could put their issues to the side for one day but wife 2, 3, and DH's sister (mom is wife 2) said some pretty mean things about his biological mom. I can only anticipate what kind of drama will ensue everything baby related. This is the first grandchild for everyone.

persephonerose

When we had our son I asked for MIL and my Mom's preferences, but let them know that children are precocious and will eventually decide on their own.

I honestly would not worry about it. My sister tried for years to get my nephew to call me aunt or auntie, but he wasn't having it. He is now about to turn 10 and still calls me bubbie.

savicke2009

I never really considered this.. my parents are still married and my nephews always called them just grandma and grandpa (last name), but my son (who is 4 now) started calling them 'meemee' & 'boppa' so that's what they go by with both of our kids.. they call my in-laws grama winnie (her names wendy) and grandpa joe.. and just always have.. i think that your little lady will just start calling each one something and it'll go from there..

MrsL2B

My kid will have 8 grandparents, and thankfully most of them already have their grandparent nicknames in place since our step-siblings have kids. Now whether or not our child will be cooperative (our child? ha!) and use those names is a different story. I'm going to do my best to stay out of it, though.

pushgal84

7 grandparents here, all first-timers with no established NNs. We're leaving it up to everyone what they would like to be called. Like PP said, it'll probably work itself out and no need to stress. I'mm more worried about LO's first Thanksgiving and Christmas and hauling a baby around to 4 different households. Compared to that, naming the grandparents seems easy!

persephonerose

@pushgal84 That's one of the nice things about having a baby. You can now make people come to you!  Ugh I can't even imagine trying to do 4 houses on a holiday. Nope.

k3montel

We are legit in the exact same situation. FIL and MIL got divorced when DH was 3 months old. FIL re-married soon after and had SIL. FIL & SMIL1 were married for 18 years. FIL got remarried 7 years ago to SMIL2. My parents are still married (30 years last month). My mom and dad are Mimi and Nonnu...they picked. MIL picked Nana. FIL and SMIL2 are Grandpa and Grandma, and SMIL1 is Grandma FN. DS (2 years 4 months) is not confused by any of it, as long as you don't make a big deal about it , neither will LO.

cbriggs567

A lot of times kids come up with their own names to call their grandparents. My DH's parents split when he was young and they have both remarried. All of them are called Grandma (first name) and Grandpa (first name). My parents are Grandma (first name) and Papa (first name). We don't usually use the FN unless we are saying specifically who we are going to see. My mom was called Nana for a while since it was easier for the kids to say, but eventually all of them switched to Grandma. My older two kids have a different dad so they have grandparents on his side. I know they call his parents Mimi and Papa. It's not confusing for kids. They figure it out! Hope that helps!

bumpuser10309732

Like PP have said I wouldn't worry about it as much as you are. It will figure itself out. I told the grandparents they can be called what ever they want to but I'm pretty sure my kid will call them whatever she decides anyway! My niece called everyone who was older "grandma" for the longest time. My dad would be like NO! I'M GRANDPA! Lol They're not going to know it's confusing they'll just think it's normal.

SusieBW

We let our parents pick.  Both my parents and my ILs are still married, but I really don't even think that matters as far as what people are called.  My parents are Nana and Papa, which is what my brother's kids already called them before DD was born.

I think that my MIL wanted to be Nana, and I would've been completely fine with my kids having 2 nanas (if I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have told them to pick whatever they wanted to be called), but I have always felt like she chose a different name because my mom was already going to be Nana.  My ILs are Grammie and Poppie.