Another shower question

golfingdarwinfish

Back story: 

My shower is at a country club DH & I belong to in NY.  There are no issues with my hostesses being billed directly for the shower despite the fact that they are not members.

Issue:  

Many of my guests are coming from NJ and are being driven by their spouses/male children.  I don't know if I should fold the spouses into the headcount, or let them hang out with my DH in a different area of the club, such as the pool bar or one of the lounge areas where they can order drinks, hang out, watch football, etc..  

If the above happens, all drinks and food would be charged to our house account; payment is not accepted on-site and the shower hostesses would have paid for the shower in full prior to the event.  

Question:

I don't mind the "man charges" showing up on our account and paying for them.  But, would you consider that us paying for a portion of my shower?  My mother is offering to reimburse for any or all of those charges, but that just seems silly to me.  

ETA: Maybe I should add that I feel uncomfortable accepting money and gifts from my parents period, so even the fact that they are paying for part of the shower (the costs are being divided by the 3 hosts) absolutely kills me.  

duckr

Let mom and dad handle this one for you. I'm the same way about my parents and money but it's your shower day and their grandchild.

DaniGrace89

Yeah...that would be awkward being reimbursed after having the party. I think it would be fun to have men at the shower. Depending on what you are into. I really want DH and some other guys at mine.

Otherwise, I would expect to be billed for said man charges and not expect reimbursement.

ladybug0088

I would let your mom pay for it since she offered. I think including the other men is a great idea!

[Deleted User]

If you're uncomfortable, you could tell your mom that and say you're completely fine with paying those charges. If she still insists even after your objection, I'd go ahead and accept her generosity.

pnwlover12

I think in this case, it would be ok to pay for the 'man charges'. I sort of threw my DH a little "welcome to fatherhood" bbq with our first where he invited all his guy friends. I bought food and alcohol for them and we didn't ask for gifts, so it was just a chance for DH to feel included since my shower was female only. Go for it!