Natural conception later in life

BreandMikewedding

I just read an article on msn healthy living that said that natural conception later in life is tied to women having a longer life. What do they consider "later in life"? 33! Wtf!!! 33!

archi35

Yeah this might be a U/O but what society considers old and what mother nature considers old are just two different things   Our bodies don't give two fucks about what's politically correct to say or think . I would love to say "oh it totally doesn't matter - 33 is YOUNG!" but the real deal is that even by 33 you could have a significantly depleted OR already.  If there was one thing I would have done differently, I would have begun keeping track of my fertility situation starting at 30.  I feel doctors should be more informative on this matter with women in general.  Its such a taboo topic to really discuss seriously and yet so many women end up at 35+ without enough awareness.

ETA: I didn't have to do fertility but we were scheduled to go in two weeks after we got our bfp blessing.  We were lucky - many aren't.  We will have a good chance of doing fertility for number two based on our ages.

Lindzoid

Well I guess this is good news for me since baby #3 was conceived just before my 33 birthday!! I will say this, baby's 1 and 2 were both conceived in my early to mid 20's and were easy this one took 2 years......but I guess everything happens for a reason.

persephonerose

I really had no clue about fertility or how menstruation works until we visited our IVF clinic. I was 36 and had already been to several fertility doctors and been through several fertility treatments, but I still had no idea.  

I told my husband that any daughters we have will be required to read Taking Charge of your Fertility once they start their cycles.  That book changed my life and really empowered me to ask important questions. I had struggled with irregular horrible cycles since I was 18 and doctors just brushed me off. If I had more information I could have received better treatment.

ss265

jalara48 said:

BreandMikewedding said:

I just read an article on msn healthy living that said that natural conception later in life is tied to women having a longer life. What do they consider "later in life"? 33! Wtf!!! 33!

It surprises me that more woman don't know this actually. Once you hit your 30s your fertility starts to decrease and once you hit 35 there's a pretty substantial drop.

This! I've read frequently on the TTGP board that you shouldn't see a doctor for fertility issues unless you are under 35 and have been trying without success for a year or over 35 and trying without success for 6 months. I saw 2 different OBs in my early 30s and both asked me to come back if we had been trying without success for 6 months. I really believe that if you are TTC in your early 30s, you should seek intervention sooner rather than later.

persephonerose

ss265 said:

jalara48 said:

BreandMikewedding said:

I just read an article on msn healthy living that said that natural conception later in life is tied to women having a longer life. What do they consider "later in life"? 33! Wtf!!! 33!

It surprises me that more woman don't know this actually. Once you hit your 30s your fertility starts to decrease and once you hit 35 there's a pretty substantial drop.

This! I've read frequently on the TTGP board that you shouldn't see a doctor for fertility issues unless you are under 35 and have been trying without success for a year or over 35 and trying without success for 6 months. I saw 2 different OBs in my early 30s and both asked me to come back if we had been trying without success for 6 months. I really believe that if you are TTC in your early 30s, you should seek intervention sooner rather than later.

There are other reasons many doctors suggest waiting 6 months. Many insurance companies will not even consider coverage for any fertility treatments unless you have been trying for at least 6 months if you are under 35. I know several couples whose insurance required they try for a year before covering any fertility interventions because they were only 33.

persephonerose

@Jalara48 you explained that much better than I did. I couldn't figure out how to describe the, but I want a baby now! mentality without sounding bitchy or cold. 

JessAnnJ

My OBGYN office has a chart in all offices showing fertility drops by age. I'm very thankful to have conceived during my second cycle post birth control at 31 with DD and now 33 years old.

ETA - I think a lot of women focus on their careers and decide to have children later and very few think about the fact that doing so could make conceiving more difficult. Honestly the only age related factor that crossed my mind was how old I would be when my kids graduated. It wasn't until I saw the chart at the OBGYN's office shortly before TTC that I started to actually think about this issue.

BreandMikewedding

I agree with a lot of what everyone is saying. I was just caught off guard that they consider 33 "later in life". It made me feel like I'm over the hill. Sniff sniff (

LightBright515

I'm in my mid 20's and I was told that I was lucky to have this baby. Like PP mentioned, I've had crazy cycles my whole life.

I always had a gut feeling conceiving would be a challenge, but the talk of clomid in your 20's is just horrible. But then again, there are women in my community who are currently dealing with menopause at THIRTY.

mandapear

As a relatively young FTM (26), I caught a good deal of flak: "Wow, this must have been a mistake. You're not done with school and DH is a resident!" and the like. I never wanted to sound smug and reply "No, we realized that there is never a perfect time, but wanted to give conceiving our best shot and so didn't wait until we were in our mid-30s only to discover, as did my sister, that her severely diminished reserve would lead to three IVF cycles and tens of thousands of dollars in medical fees." But man, I wish I could have done that. I'll be 28 when this baby is born, and our theory has remained the same: we'd rather tough it out when we're young than have to deal with infertility later. We were lucky enough to have gotten married young (6 years ago next week!) and had time to grow together before becoming parents, too.

chicitygirl7

For every one person that has fertility problems in their thirties, I know 5 women that had no problem conceiving naturally well into their thirties and earl 40s. I think more women are overly concerned when they shouldn't be. Learn your cycles and be proactive about your health, that goes a long way. IMO, being on hormonal birth control for years can make some women completely unaware of what their normal cycle even is.

chicitygirl7

Obviously it declines. But it doesn't disappear. You're more likely to conceive than not, even I your 30's. Your reality is just as anecdotal as others.

lct2008

chicitygirl7 said:

Obviously it declines. But it doesn't disappear. You're more likely to conceive than not, even I your 30's. Your reality is just as anecdotal as others.

I don't understand where you are getting the idea that you are more likely to conceive than not. Because even a perfectly healthy couple, young with no fertility issues only have a 20% chance of conceiving each cycle. Which leads to you being more likely NOT to conceive.

JessAnnJ

chicitygirl7 said:

For every one person that has fertility problems in their thirties, I know 5 women that had no problem conceiving naturally well into their thirties and earl 40s. I think more women are overly concerned when they shouldn't be. Learn your cycles and be proactive about your health, that goes a long way. IMO, being on hormonal birth control for years can make some women completely unaware of what their normal cycle even is.

People with fertility problems don't tend to advertise their struggles so you many not have an accurate picture of what has gone on with those you meet. Even if they did conceive naturally most people don't advertise how long it took to conceive.

LightBright515

I was just about to say, most people don't broadcast their methods while TTC.

It wasn't until I became a member of this board that people really spelled out their process.

Sockgnome78

It took me a very long time to figure out my struggles. So yes I know my chances of naturally conceiving demishs a great deal.
But when you are young and get brushed off by doctors saying everything is "normal". When I may have not had a cycle in 6 months or more. There is not a lot you can do. Then I go to a fertility clinic that did nothing but push hormones (Clomed and other meds to start a cycle) when we did not even know why I was not having cycles. My OB/GYN FINALLY took the time to investigate what was going on. Meds to get other areas of my body working right were the ticket.
So yes after you turn 30 your production decreases. So I think over all woman need to take personal responsibility. But if you have any on going history I think if you go to a doctor for help they should be willing to help. And look past the rules.

atraveller

Folks - what appears to be missing from this conversation is that many women who start trying to have their first baby after 35 didn't necessarily do it by choice. Some yes, focus on careers, etc...but some don't meet "the one" till later in life and aren't necessarily wanting to just try to have a baby regardless of if in a relationship, etc...just because they are approaching that critical age. My husband and I started late - we fell in love in our mid-late 30s and it just happened that way. I knew my fertility would be reduced due to my age, but had no reason to believe that I had fertility issues - as my sister had 3 children and the third was born when she was 39. I turned out to have reduced ovarian reserve - and much less eggs/follicles than the average woman my age, when we started - there was no way to know that. And my ob/gyn told me based on how my fertility was, it was likely I may have had problems even I'd been trying at 30, just being younger would have helped. Anyways, just felt like that point was missed in this conversation. I agree one has to take personal responsibility for ones fertility but sometimes it does come out of left field.

BreandMikewedding

chicitygirl7 said:

For every one person that has fertility problems in their thirties, I know 5 women that had no problem conceiving naturally well into their thirties and earl 40s. I think more women are overly concerned when they shouldn't be. Learn your cycles and be proactive about your health, that goes a long way. IMO, being on hormonal birth control for years can make some women completely unaware of what their normal cycle even is.

I know tons of women who don't talk about their fertility. I'm 31 and currently pregnant with my third child. When I announced I was pregnant my cousin was actually mad because she has been trying for two years and she assumed we had gotten pregnant right away. What she didn't know is that we had been trying for almost two years, had a loss, and ended up using clomid to get pregnant. I will be very lucky if I am able to have another baby after this one.

chicitygirl7

I'm just going by what 2 different ob/gynos told me when I asked questions about fertility as I hit my 30's. They both said that while some women might have challenges conceiving, most do not. Why is everyone getting so bent out of shape about that? I'm basing my response on that in addition to very candid convos I've had with other moms.

chicitygirl7

jalara48 said:

chicitygirl7 said:

Obviously it declines. But it doesn't disappear. You're more likely to conceive than not, even I your 30's. Your reality is just as anecdotal as others.

Who said anything about my reality? My reality isn't on any chart or statistic anywhere, but you have no clue what my issues are so you're just making assumptions about my situation. Don't do that.

What I'm speaking to in this discussion to is scientific fact.

Wow, apparently I hit a nerve, and that wasn't my intention. Relax, I'm speaking in general terms. You're right, I don't know your reality and if things haven't been easy for you, I can see how it makes you especially touchy about this. Best of luck to you in your journey to parenthood.

chicitygirl7

My intention wasn't to minimize the struggle others may have had with conceiving. I get that it's a very real and arduous process for some. I wanted to point out that it isn't necessarily the reality for a large number of women. I got married later in life and therefore didn't have the opportunity to even really consider having kids in my 20's. I spent several years scared to death about fertility challenges based on reading horror stories online about declining fertility. In my case, and the case of a lot of women, there were no challenges conceiving. I just wanted to highlight that while some have a very hard time of it, there are likely equal if not more women in their 30's that are able to start families without struggle. Just trying to provide some balanced perspective to the typical doom and gloom AMA women undoubtedly read more of online. I apologize if anyone took this offensively. That was not my intention.

Sockgnome78

TicketTuesday said:

chicitygirl7 said:

I'm just going by what 2 different ob/gynos told me when I asked questions about fertility as I hit my 30's. They both said that while some women might have challenges conceiving, most do not. Why is everyone getting so bent out of shape about that? I'm basing my response on that in addition to very candid convos I've had with other moms.

Because of how you said it. There are so many women who have struggled with fertility and HAVE been proactive about their health and HAVE been familiar with their cycles, so throwing that simple fix-it-all solution out there, while logical, is not exactly the most sensitive way to put it. I've had very minor struggles myself, nothing compared to what so many women on this board have been through, and yet your statement "I think more women are overly concerned when they shouldn't be" stings. I'm only 26 and I wasn't concerned at all when I should have been. I'm not flaming you, I'm not upset even, just trying to be helpful - think about how you phrase things.

Hence why I shared some of my story. Another tidbit. DH and I started after we got married (9 and 1/2 years ago). So even knowing that we tried all we could do. *We did not purse fertility drugs after Clomed due to what it did to me.* so sometimes it does just take a blessing from God to have something you always desired. It is not an easy fix for everyone to know their bodies and all lands in place a boom you have a baby. It takes work. Me going through many primary care doctors saying all is fine, when it was not. To a doctor finally listening to me and finding an answer. Yes after we got that answer it took us many years to get a baby. But to get where I am today with being able to carry my child and birth him. Nothing can change that. It is my story and makes me who I am.
So yes a few of you have hit a nerve. But I also get a blessing that I had lost all faith and hope in.

BreandMikewedding

Another tidbit. Many ob/gyns don't have extensive knowledge of fertility. They know the textbook try for a year. Some will do basic testing such as cycle day 3 labs and order a semen analysis for the SO. I worked at my ob/gyn and also at a fertility clinic. When I had challenges my ob told me that I know more about fertility testing and protocols than she does. I was lucky to have that knowledge because I did my own protocol to try before going to a fertility dr. Luckily, my protocol worked for me.

ss265

chicitygirl7 said:

My intention wasn't to minimize the struggle others may have had with conceiving. I get that it's a very real and arduous process for some. I wanted to point out that it isn't necessarily the reality for a large number of women. I got married later in life and therefore didn't have the opportunity to even really consider having kids in my 20's. I spent several years scared to death about fertility challenges based on reading horror stories online about declining fertility. In my case, and the case of a lot of women, there were no challenges conceiving. I just wanted to highlight that while some have a very hard time of it, there are likely equal if not more women in their 30's that are able to start families without struggle. Just trying to provide some balanced perspective to the typical doom and gloom AMA women undoubtedly read more of online. I apologize if anyone took this offensively. That was not my intention.

I hear where you are coming from because similar to you, I was always stressed about having kids later in life although for me, it was a choice because I wanted to be older when I got married and had kids. And also similar to you, I was very fortunate to have no problems conceiving in my 30s.

But do you have any studies to support your claims in the bolded? Are you claiming that 50% or more women in their 30s are able to start families without struggle? I find that difficult to believe because it is a proven fact that fertility does decline in your 30s. Just because you and I were fortunate enough not to be affected by that statistic doesn't mean that we are the norm or even the average person though.

bumpuser10309732

This is exactly why I thought it was ridiculous when people acted so shocked that DH and I were expecting (me 27, he's 30). I have a lot of family on the East Coast and they're all basically around my age, and one of them is married and for the most part marriage is not even on their radar. Where as here in the midwest, it's normal to get married at 19-21 and then start popping out kids immediately. It's funny how geographically speaking things can be so different in that sense. We waited until we could afford kids. With friends who were already having problems in their mid 20's, really freaked me out and made me go holy crap we should probably start trying at least! My doctor told me we won't know if you have issues until you start trying. 

bennikki

BreandMikewedding said:

Another tidbit. Many ob/gyns don't have extensive knowledge of fertility. They know the textbook try for a year. Some will do basic testing such as cycle day 3 labs and order a semen analysis for the SO. I worked at my ob/gyn and also at a fertility clinic. When I had challenges my ob told me that I know more about fertility testing and protocols than she does. I was lucky to have that knowledge because I did my own protocol to try before going to a fertility dr. Luckily, my protocol worked for me.

Yep, I saw an OB/GYN for a year thinking I was doing the best thing for aiding my chances to conceive - I hadn't had a period for 2 years.  After going to a RESOLVE (IF support group) meeting, the women were like, "you can't see an OB for fertility.  They know what to do when you are pregnant, but many don't actually know how to get your pregnant.  You need to see an RE."  DH and I were in the RE's office 2 weeks later with all my records, and the first thing the RE did was schedule actual testing!  The OB just kept playing with the clomid dose and testing my progesterone at 21 days, but the RE said, "why would the OB do that if they don't know when you're ovulating or if you're ovulating?"  And I thought to myself, they're an OB, what else would I be paying them for except to be telling me what's going wrong with my lady parts?  The RE had me ovulating and understanding my cycle better than I ever imagined after 2 months.

Also, totally anecdotal, and not even the same OB, but a friend of mine was seeing an OB for 3 years and did several rounds of clomid and IUI's with trigger shots (very dangerous without monitoring!) until I finally convinced her to see my RE.  He did one round of testing and said "you have one of the worst cases of endo and PCOS that I've ever seen.  I don't know that we'll be able to get you viable eggs, and even after that, I don't know that we'll be able to implant the embryo anywhere viable."  This is after $1000's spent on IF treatments with an OB.

I also second the making all women read TCOYF.  I realize why they don't want to teach this stuff in school because telling a horny teenager that there is really just a small window in each cycle that you could possibly get pregnant is a recipe for disaster, but the fear monger the kids into thinking that sex will lead to pregnancy - poverty or STD - death is just as irrational.

cookiepaws

I think what the article is saying, if you get pregnant naturally later in life you have a tendency to live longer.  It makes sense your body was still ready to make a baby so your body is prepared to be around longer to care for your child(ren).  It's just nature- pure and simple.