A word about personal safety (not IF related)... from personal experience

LaurenNK

This is unrelated to IF (is that what n3tr means??? didn't see mention of it in the glossary and I'm still new).

Below is a story of what happened to me a couple days ago.  It's a bit long, so if you aren't up for a read, please just take this away with you:

Think about what you are going to do when you are home alone and a crackhead running from the police smashes through your back door?  Do you have a weapon?  How quickly do you dial 911 from your phone?  Did you know that regardless your first priority is get the F out???  Your first priority is get yourself to safety, no thoughts to how will they catch him if you lose sight of him...  just get safe.  You need to know what you'll do if you're in bed and it's the front door, or back door, or your own window.  What if you're in the living room and it's the back door? Front door?  What if you're sunbathing in your yard and it's the middle of the day and a man jumps your fence?  Every possibility.  Please get prepared.

On Wednesday night I was home alone watching TV.  I heard a sound like someone pushing over the garbage dumpster in the alley, so went to the back of the house to look outside.  Saw nothing, but started to hear police sirens and could see lights faintly reflecting off of neighboring buildings.

I moved to a different window for better view, and could see police search lights moving across my neighbor's lawn... and someone running through her yard.

This someone jumped over our 3-foot fence.  I quickly moved back to the other window to *hopefully* watch this person run down the alley so I could call 911 and tell them which way he went.

When I pulled the blinds to the side there was a man on my back deck!  I flipped the light on thinking to scare him away, but instead saw him lifting his elbow to the glass portion of our back door.  I heard the window shattering as I ran back across the house to the front door.  I unlocked it and the screen door and bolted out into the pouring rain, in my pajamas, and the middle of the street yelling for help.  None of my neighbors were opening their front doors, so I crouched behind my pickup truck in the driveway.

About 1 minute later another patrol car pulled into the intersection 1/2 a block away.  Two officers came to me needing to know how many people are inside, is there supposed to be a man there, why are there holsters and rifle cases under your bed, etc.  (husband's things, left empty and tucked away while he is out of town, the goodies were locked in a safe).  I answered all, and by that time another officer joined us to tell me they got him and I could go inside and find a blanket.  The rest was about 90 minutes of questions, telling my story about 3 more times, writing my story down with adrenaline shakes in my hands, and calling my mom and husband.  

The police cleaned up the broken glass (and blood) on my deck and in my laundry room and were gone quickly.  My mom lives 2 hours away and came the moment I called to spend the night and next day with me.  My poor husband, I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling getting this call while he is away being a counselor at summer camp.  I'll find out tomorrow.

I know that the reason I am safe is because my husband and I have an ongoing dialogue about SITUATIONAL AWARENESS and FORETHOUGHT.

We have spoken of what to do if I'm home alone and something like this happens (and I did just what he said to do and it worked).  Also, what to do if we're both home, my role being to dial 911 while he keeps and armed lookout (baseball bat, firearm, samurai sword, tazer, whatever you have).

The other part of my staying safe when he's gone is to be conscious of the situation:  don't have crazy loud music while I'm cooking, keep the TV volume low, so that I can hear what is going on, if a window breaks in a back corner, etc.  Don't think that I'm just a paranoid mess alone at home waiting for things.  I just know what kind of settings allow me to remain safe and allow me time to respond to whatever input I receive, whether that is hearing a crackhead crash a car into a fence a block away and turn the TV off so I can see what caused it, making sure that the garage door stays locked so if someone breaks the window out there where I can't hear, I'll at least hear them kick in the interior door, etc.

I'm perfectly fine, although I went to Petco to get my cat some calming chews, she's very upset by this still, and for some reason being outside by myself was causing me a strange amount of anxiety.  I got my dose of sympathy over on the Throat Punch board, so please just share what YOU are doing or changing about your alone time to make sure you stay safe or even your own similar story if you wish.  

I hope no one experience the kind of instantaneous terror I felt 2 days ago or the lingering side-effects, but you DO need to run through these scenarios beforehand so you will be less likely to freeze up and become unable to save/protect yourself.

Stay safe!  Take responsibility for your own safety.

tweetyknicks

Great job keeping yourself safe!

We have a home alarm system, martial arts weapons that I am trained to use (they look like dowel rods), and have discussed multiple times which exits are quickest from which parts of the house. I've also been practicing jujutsu for almost 5 years, which includes situational awareness and practical self defense, which focuses on disengaging and escaping rather than fighting.

We're not paranoid, by the way. We've had reason to go over this stuff, just in case.

megrae12

I am so glad you are safe!! I am very glad you and YH have a plan in place. 

H and I have talked about what we would do. H gets up and investigates (which I hate), but he takes his handgun so that makes me feel better. Down where we live, almost everyone has a gun. We are very vocal with our friends and anyone who stays with us, we have guns, and they are easily accessible. H sleeps with a handgun on his side of the bed and I have mine on my side. I am not saying that we go around and threaten people. H works long hours (he is a technical director for a theatre) and there are a lot of times, I am home alone. I always have a weapon w/in arms reach. I always have a plan in place of what I will do. I am not even 5' tall, I know if someone were to come in, and I were w/o my gun, chances of me getting away are slim. H and I have talked at length about this, his policy for me, shoot first, ask questions later. I hope it never comes to that and I do carry concealed. 

I travel and see clients in their homes and, a lot of times, in the most unsavory neighborhoods. I practice a lot of situational awareness b/c my height makes me an easy target. So I walk around with "F-off" stamped on my forehead and look everyone in the eye. In my experience, those that want to mess with you, back down when you stare them down. Those that don't, well, I fight dirty, I have a brother after all.  

Pintobean39

How scary! I'm glad you are ok.

My best friend had an experience where her neighbor was robbed and beaten. She heard her neighbor scream and saw the guy and grabbed her gun ran out the door and chased him off. She was naked with a robe on but it wasn't covering anything. She did call 911 first. It's really freaked her out afterwards and she got an alarm. We don't own a gun but we have an alarm system with multiple panels. I hope I never need it but I've always thought I'd just hit the police button and run.

LaurenNK

Excellent ladies!  I wasn't sure how mention of handguns would go over on a forum such as this... I'm GLAD people are being open

I had my .45 in hand as soon as I heard the noises in the alley, but I wasn't about to wait around long enough to shoot this a*hole if he actually did make it inside.  (I don't think I get to shoot him until he steps through the door in WA)

Though I am actually having some anxiety issues now (I didn't think I would), I know the only reason I got the few hours of sleep that I did last night/this a.m. were due to the fact that I sleep with my gun.  I don't know how anyone, esp. women keeps a quiet mind without one.  Of course, I was raised in a home with guns that were never locked away and have lived in sketchy neighborhoods, so I can't quite picture what it's like if you grew up somewhere quiet/remote/super-low-crime and with no weapons.  

For those of you who don't own firearms, and don't have any defensive training, how do you keep yourself feeling secure?  Have you thought about it before?  

I only have my own frame of reference which includes both my dad and husband always making sure that defending myself was something I think about, but have most women been encouraged in this manner???

BTW: when the cops clear your weapon that they just took from you, ask for your last bullet back!  They aren't cheap

BunnyBerry

In NYS you can't shoot someone trespassing on your property or even threatening or I think attacking you unless they have  lethal weapon or are using deadly force. And I would never in a million years live in a house with a gun anyways (no opinion against those who use guns safely for sport or protection!).

The police station overlooks half of our backyard, so we feel pretty safe. It's a quiet suburban neighborhood. If my DH started talking about safety protocols like YH and you have, I would get annoyed and not cooperate! Not sure if that's irresponsible of me, but it's just the truth.

Pintobean39

I live in Louisiana (sportsman paradise) everyone owns guns here. I was wrong I do own a Henry 22 rifle that I won at a dinner, I really wanted the basket of wine. It's up in our closet hidden away, I've never used it. I'm scared of guns always have been. My friends tried to get me to take a class and learn and they all own guns and some have concealed weapon permits so they can have them in their car.

I live in a very safe neighborhood and I have an alarm system so I don't feel I need a gun for protection. My husband isn't a gun person either but he goes to the range some times with his buddies and shoots their guns.

CarSaidYes

So I couldn't sleep last night (clomid hot flashes like non before!) and I read this with one eye open. Reread this morning and it's equally as crazy!! I'm glad you had the common sense to do what you did and happy to hear you are doing good. Thanks for the heads up. Scary!

LaurenNK

@BunnyBerry of course I'm only familiar with the laws here in WA state, but in general, the fact that an intruder is larger than you, can be considered as if it were a "Deadly weapon".  And that's AWESOME that you are so close to the station!  I have never lived so close to anything except a fire station.

I looked up the response time in my town, it's 6 1/2 minutes IF you tell them someone's actually breaking, etc. (about 11 mins if it's anything not threatening).  I imagine response times are similar to that in most cities, probably faster in smaller towns.

I know it's uncomfortable, but consider the fact that you first have to call them for them to know they need to pop around the corner to rescue you    You might not always have time to dial that phone or hide somewhere in your home... 

I feel you on getting annoyed though!  I'm down with escape plans, but my DH wants us to randomly do drills where we pretend there's someone in the house and I explain to him where is the best angle for keeping cover, but still seeing the intruder.  

Oh @Pintobean39 you'd be surprised how empowering it can make you feel to know what it's like to shoot a gun.  I don't mean that you'll fall in love with it or anything, but for most of my girlfriends, they tell me they're put off because they don't fully understand how they work, they're so loud, and it looks like it would hurt their hands...  The part I appreciate most about everything I've learned is that, for most firearms, the trigger requires a good bit of force to pull.  You're not going to accidentally shoot your foot or the ground.  I used to be nervous if anyone other than my DH or father had a gun, but being around them and handling them and generally knowing more about them now makes it much less uncomfortable.  Anyway, I highly recommend a class, especially with your friends, just a a once-in-a-lifetime thing for the sake of knowing.  

@CarSaidYes I feel ya!  I had to wash our bedding every day for 10 days because I was having such terrible night sweats    

I would be interested to know (should anyone want to take the time, and IF you can even find the info online) what is the average response time for everyone's police department/sheriff?

I found mine by going to my cities website and then to the police department section and there was a link to their annual reports.  Crime/response stats are only current up to 2 years ago here.

It was 6.5 minutes for Priority 1 (superbad emergencies, like mine) up to 11-12 mins for Priority 2 & 3 (hit&run, vandalism, fender benders, noise ordinance).  A little more food for thought.

DharmaChick

Thank you for posting this, it really made me think.  I have always safety/protection scenarios in mind when being outside of the house (out late at night, driving alone, in a crowd, etc.) but it is easy to assume that you are safe in your home.

My dog is fairly vocal - which helps as both a deterrent to an intruder and a warning for us.  I usually have my phone close by, so I would grab that immediately.  I would look for some item that would offer some amount of protection, and get to someplace safe to make the 911 call.  Several of our neighbors are cops, so I would probably head in their direction.

erollis

I can't find how short/long the response time. It's more difficult for me to search for certain things on my phone. Maybe once I get on a computer...

@LaurenNK‌ that's good you are physically unharmed. Any break in or theft ( @DaydreamSam‌ ) certainly makes you feel violated and vulnerable.

I've had stuff stolen out of my bag/purse twice. High school and once at work. A girl at work just had her iPhone stolen at work. H came home one day (he was about 9) to the front door open. He went to a neighbors to call his parents. Needless to say he's big on locking doors and setting alarms.

I used to be very paranoid when I was younger. I cut the bushes in front of our house in half. The layout of the entry way unnerved me. But to get to that hole of an entryway, next to the creepy bushes, I had to pass two very large vehicles that could easily conceal someone. If someone dropped me off at night I had them make sure I got in ok. Unusual noises freaked me out. I was scared in other people's homes at night. Really scared if I didn't feel I was in a safe spot.

I'm not as bad anymore. But I'm still not a fan of long walks in the dark. Big windows on the first floor look nice but not a fan.

We live on the 3rd floor of an apartment in the very middle of a long building. There really isn't many places to hide inside the building. I'm more concerned about fires than muggings, rape, break ins, and robberies.

We have never really discussed a intruder plan. The farthest we've gotten is we have a ton of really sharp knives and daggers, and cheepo Katana's (because that's what teen boys like to buy at the Ren Fest) all over (discreetly placed/hidden).

We do know some of our neighbors well. I view that as a plus.

No guns and I've never fired one. H has gone to the shooting range a few times. I'm not afraid of guns in the home. I just don't have an interest in owning one.

I don't walk like a hard ass bitch all the time when I go out. I've become soft. I still am very aware of my surroundings.