Introduction --angel baby warning--

elmindreda

Hi, my name is Abi. I thought about joining this board before I had actually lost my baby but felt like I didn't want to openly accept that she would be a loss while she was still living. 

On May 3, Janelle Elizabeth was born sleeping at 23 weeks. When we went in for our 20 week scan, we learned that she had IUGR, backwards blood flow, low amniotic fluid, and warning signs for my health as well. Three weeks later, we found that her heart had stopped. I was induced that day and delivered the next. 

I believe in God and his sovereignty and know that I'm not alone in this. My husband and I have received overwhelming love and support through our friends, family, and church. 

Now I'm dealing with major anxiety and possible depression. I don't know what I'm doing with my life since I quit my job a couple weeks before we lost Janelle. I can't go back to that job now and have fears about finding a new one. We thought we were buying a house, but it doesn't look like we'll be moving after all. I'm already to the point where don't just want a replacement baby, but I'm not sure how soon I'll be able to handle TTC and another pregnancy. 

erinel

I'm sorry for your loss, welcome to the board.

Noethola

***siggy warning***

So very sorry for the loss of your daughter, Janelle. 

I am glad that your faith and family/friends have been a great support for you. I pray they continue to be as you continue to heal and grieve.

Have you thought about seeing a counselor/therapist? It can be very helpful considering all the other aspects of life you also have on your plate. you can also talk to your dr about it. Anxiety and depression often come with grief. Some of it we are able to find resources to combat on our own, sometimes we need extra help. ((Hugs))

msunshine123

I am so sorry for the loss of your Janelle. I hope that the support of family, friends, your church and the amazing women on this board will help to give you strength and hope. You are in my thoughts and I am sending you lots of hugs!

lexusolsen

I'm so sorry for your loss. Dh and i have found therapy and a support group to be really helpful.

ikrystal

I am so sorry for your loss.  Being a part of this community has helped me tremendously, and I hope it does the same for you.  You and your family will be in my prayers and thoughts. 

SandyEggo5

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl, Janelle Elizabeth.

I think your picture on the left is absolutely beautiful. The bright light through the window accentuates a cross over your family. Stunning.

Maybe Joleisa

Abi, I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl, Janelle.

Be gentle on yourself and seek help if you find yourself struggling. Welcome. 

AshersMom11

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Janelle.

shandorfml2

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. Anxiety and depression are very common parts of grief. You are only a little more than a month out sweetheart, and I found that to be my most difficult time after the shock wore off. Consider a therapist, or joining a support group. Those were and still are helpful for me. ((hugs))

VyD81

*siggy warning*

I'm sorry for the loss of Janelle. My son also had IUGR (and other unknown symptoms) and we lost him at 29 weeks. 

What you're going through is unfortunately part of the grief process and we all have been there. Please be gentle with yourself, and seek out support groups to help you deal with grief. Hugs.

mumel16

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby girl.

LyndseyTS

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Janelle. It is great to have supportive people around you - our church family made all of the difference for us, but it doesn't take away the tremendous pain. Give yourself time. We are almost four months out and it's still tough, but it does get easier (I hesitate to say better). I don't think it ever will be "easy". Lean on your support networks and post here anytime - the ladies are amazing and always lend a listening ear. Thinking of you .

DevonBedford

I'm so sorry for your loss of Janelle.

gracie5107

I am so sorry for the loss of Janelle.  What you're going through is painful, but very normal for the tragedy we have experienced.  I absolutely love the picture of your family.  I noticed the cross form above all of you right away.  I hope you can find some comfort in this board as you venture on your path of healing. 

kflynn81

So sorry for your loss, our Jack had IUGR as well,  he was about 2 weeks behind at his 19 week scan. Its such a tough journey we all are taking, I second the counselor. My husband and I do couples grief counseling and have been since January and seems to be helping lot.

stefuge

I am so sorry for your loss of Janelle. I will second what PP have said - seeing a grief counselor was a huge help for MH and I, as well as having these ladies to come online and chat and cry and vent with. We are here whenever you need us, and I am so sorry to be welcoming you to the board.