What would you do?

ashtownyeah

Warning: this will prob be a post and dash bc I'm at work.

A few nights ago, I had a 2 visiting coworkers over to my house before heading out to dinner. I ran upstairs quickly while my one coworker, we will call him "J", was in my kitchen. He's nosey, and is actually the person who originally hired me at the company 5 years ago; although, he's not my boss anymore. Flash forward to me coming downstairs and into the kitchen where I see my husband had left out a letter from our RE with huge typeface on the form that says "INSURANCE BENEFITS FOR INFERTILITY". I just know that "J" saw this when he was in the kitchen.

There is, albeit small, chance that he didn't see it. Knowing his personality, as someone who very vocally doesn't want children if his own an his poking me with questions of when I will have a baby, I just don't trust him with this info. He's a good friend, but not someone I had planned to share this personal info with.

So, should I say something to him? Ask him to keep quiet, or should I just let it go? Have you ever had someone accidentally find out about your infertility? How did you handle it?

TLDR: coworker saw RE paperwork at my house. What to do?

cupcake122

I wouldn't say anything. It's really none of his business and I would hope most people know better than to spread that kind of information if they did see it.
I had a colleague see an email from my RE titles "infertility plan" and chose not to acknowledge it. Most people know better good luck!

lebradford

I wouldn't say anything either. Who knows, maybe he didn't see it? Maybe he saw it and wishes he didn't? I have a feeling you talking to him wouldn't keep him from telling people if he was planning on it. I hope he has enough tact to keep his mouth shut though.

gsancho

I wouldn't say anything.  All he saw was an paper with insurance info.  He doesn't know if you were just curious, doing testing, deep into treatments...and a conversation will just make it seem like a bigger deal to him, may interest him more, and then he's more likely to ask follow up questions.  

CarSaidYes

I wouldn't say anything about it yet but if/when he did bring it up ever (doesn't matter to whom) I would pull him to the side explain its a very hurtful/personal decision and ask him politely to mind his own. I wouldn't stress about it right now.

emmuffy

I also agree with everyone above. Leave it be. Most people would have the good sense not to bring it up.

catlover790

I also agree with everyone! I wouldn't mention it, if he brings it up in any way (although that would be rude!) then I would maybe say it's personal and that you aren't talking about it with coworkers. Try not to worry about it!

ashtownyeah

Thanks for the advice, ladies! I'll let this go.

ashtownyeah

iPutKetchupOnKetchup said:

Ditto on the ditto. My only "huh?!" was why, if he doesn't want kids of his own and is a close enough friend of yours to share that info and you guys chill outside of work, is he asking about when you are going to have kids? Whaddup, gossip King! Anywhoo.. What's the update? How are you feeling, what'd you decide, etc?

He's an odd one. He's like the Michael Scott of my office; nice guy who means, well but crosses the line a lot.