I've got an early FFFC

ASmallWonder

And I'm not even sure how to word it because everything I can think of sounds way more harsh and mean than I intend.  I'm...annoyed with, not Quinn himself, but current behaviors.  That's the most gentle way I can put it.  The 30-60+minutes it takes to get him to sleep, the waking 1-3 times a night and the screeching.  Dear God, the screeching.  I can't leave his sight for literally 2 seconds in the evening.  If my full attention isn't on him, he's screeching and the pitch just cuts through me like a knife.  I have to stop myself from attempting to parent him like I would with Aiden.  It's not like Quinn understands a point and a stern "STOP."  His personality is getting so cute and he's starting to walk - all things I really look forward to but at the same time I feel like I'm back to being tethered to a newborn and hello, it's been 12 1/2 months and I'm tired of it, frankly :-(

Cricket81

I totally understand what you mean! For me, it's the car. 99% of the time he is in his car seat, he is screaming. Not crying, just yelling. And there's no way to reason with him and get him to stop. It drives me batty and I feel bad being annoyed with my little baby, but I would love to have just one quiet-ish car trip.

Western Diva

I totally get it! I have to always be in sight and, most of the time, holding him too. Frustrating! I also get wanting to parent him the way you would an older kid. I'm so used to a stern "no" or timeouts that it's hard to get back to how to discipline a baby.

ASmallWonder

Thank god - I saw people viewing this and not commenting and was like "Great, they all think I suck."  It doesn't even need to be said - I adore him but H and I have been joking that he's due for a performance evaluation and told he needs to try harder to assimilate lol

WasNotWas

WasNotWas

I was just looking for a gif! I will say, as a STM it's a little easier just to let Ty cry for a bit and not have to address his first whimper. He is all mommy all of the time and it just gets so tiring. Last night I wanted to go for a run but by the time I got him to bed I had zero energy. MH doesn't understand because he is dying for Tyler's attention but he won't give him the time of day. Ty isn't walking yet, so I'm hoping that once he does he will want to explore a little more...doubt it 

needanustart

Arlo is doing well these days, but I'm not sure I even like G right now. I love him of course, but I really find him incredibly annoying. And my two are totally different personality wise so I already have to adjust parenting styles about 20 times a day. I'm just hoping by 4 years old G doesn't feel the need to talk allllll the time.

ASmallWonder

@wasnotwas I totally have to ignore him sometimes and Aiden will be all "Mom, can you just give him some Cheerios or something to make him stop?" lol  When H comes home Q hauls ass to the front door, all squeals and smiles and H looks at me and I'm like 

numbersgirl08

I'm feeling the clingyness too. As soon as I get home from work I have to pick her up immediately and if I even make a move that looks like I might put her down she wails. I can't even bend down to the ground or she will wail. I can't get down on the ground and play with her because she only wants to be held. But then she gets wiggly and wants down. But then I put her down and he screams. It's a constant battle and exhausting.

I was worried it was all because we've had so much going on and she's spent more time than normal away from me - I was afraid she was scarred from it and being clingy because she thinks i abandoned her. This thread makes me feel better - it's probably just a phase.

ASmallWonder

@heelibrarian OMG yes the feels are all strong.  Love them more than life itself and they push me to such anger sometimes.  I grew up with a mother with serious rage (not anger, literal rage) issues so I get really upset with myself if I get too angry.  Thankfully DH and I are good at doing the walk out of the room, high five "You're up - I can't do it anymore right now" thing for bedtime but I'm alone with them until he gets home and I'm like can I please just make a quick freaking meal?!?!

WasNotWas

@heelibrarian I always tell first time moms about that feeling. The anger and anxiety that kids give you. And you can't take it out on them, so you need an alternative outlet. In my case, it's my husband. He lets me shit on him (to a point) and it releases so much frustration. I have started running and working out and that definitely helps as well. But yeah, so much grr

needanustart

Nooooo @heelibrarian‌ don't tell me it will continue into 4! I honestly wish I would have spaced my kids out a little more. I still love them but this age combo is terrible. And usually DH is uber helpful the minute he walks in the door because he knows they are pains in the ass right now, but with his father in the hospital he usually doesn't get home until bedtime or right after. It's been rough on out household hang in there Elmo!

WasNotWas

@subliminalrabbit sometimes, to the tune of twinkle twinkle, I sing to Tyler "shut the fuck up"

cynthia2007

Virtual hugs elmo. It definitely is stressful and exhausting especially when they don't sleep and you don't either.

Any way to tire him out a little before you do your bedtime routine? With A, I try to walk with her holding my hands around the houseor doing some of her phphysical therapy exercises right before we start our bedtime routine and on those days she tends to sleep better. Or go for walk with him after dinner so he's distracted and hopefully quiet so you get some quiet time too? Where we live its warm so being outside in stroller makes LO calm and sleepy

ASmallWonder

We live for bedtime and it's not helping us that sometimes that isn't wrapping up until closer to 9 than 8 some nights.  That means we've got like, an hour before we crash and that just ain't ok for anyone.

needanustart

I feel your pain, G was up until 9:30 last night Elmo. We started routine at 7:45. He gets up at 5:50. He just suuuuuucks.

needanustart

Also my coping mechanisms have all gone full throttle toddler mom. When I need a boost I think, "just keep swimming!" (Dori), or start singing "let it Go" with wild hand gestures which entertains both boys for about 5 minutes. And even without them around, if something good happens I automatically start signing "hip hip hooray!" From the end of Super Why. That last fact can be a real boner killer if mentioned at the wrong time.

momofcatan

I love so much of what PP have said. My confession is that I hit the peak of crazy frustration/anger about 6 months ago. I still feel so guilty about it because she understood absolutely nothing at that point and it was obviously not her "fault". One of the reasons I didn't reply to this thread right away is because I feel like I have no right to commiserate here since I have a kid who sleeps well. I need to get over that because we obviously all have our challenges. DD's constant crying/whining has decreased for the moment which is great, but I am getting so frustrated with her eating habits. I am so irrationally upset over her picky-ness. I feel like a bad mom because either I'm sending the exact same thing to DC for lunch every day or I risk sending a lunch she won't eat.

ASmallWonder

I like this thread.  We're keeping it real.  I always say (this is for you @araziza) that everyone's hell is their own.  Just because someone's else's hell is different or worse doesn't make your life any easier.  

musicalsilver

@araziza - This week I finally gave up and send pretty much the same thing to daycare everyday.  Pasta is the only thing that he will sit still for and not just drop on the floor.

To make myself feel better, I pack a small side of something he *might* eat to add some variety.  But pasta.  Every day.  

You gotta do what you gotta do to get them to eat!

momofcatan

@subliminalrabbit I probably should ave stuck with purees longer, she would eat anything pureed, but I was so excited to have her 100% on finger food. It seemed like a good plan at the time since all the kids at her DC self feed (she's the youngest and I didn't want to ask DCP to spoon feed her since I knew she was capable of self feeding) and at the time she was not no nearly as picky about her finger foods.

needanustart

Steamboat1679 said:

The dropping food. Argh anyone have any tips? I try to get DD's attention, but that doesn't always work.

Lo throws his, so as soon as he does that I take all the food away, then pop one piece of it into his mouth myself and that seems to remind him why we are there in the first place. Then I'll put pieces back on the tray one at a time. If he keeps throwing, meal is over.

Funny story, this morning his ball popper elephant toy was near his high chair. He started throwing chex and some must have fallen in the trunk, which blows air when you press the button. The little monster crawled over to play with it when he was finished and he always pulls up and looks down the trunk to get a face full of air when he presses the button. Instead he got shot in the face with like 20 chexs. It didn't hurt but it really confused him and made me laugh.

momofcatan

@musicalsilver cream cheese sandwich and peas every day.

@MeloHdy re: the potatoes, I try to pick my battles. I usually try to stop her from pulling all of the books off the shelf, but in the end if she's having fun I just let it go and if a a couple pages get bent or torn, oh well. I've also decided that pulling down the towels & bibs that hang from our oven handle is 100% acceptable activity (when the oven is not on). There are much more dangerous things she could get into in the kitchen.

BunnyLove416

Steamboat1679 said:

The dropping food. Argh anyone have any tips? I try to get DD's attention, but that doesn't always work.

This is the one thing where ignoring him works best, the little stinker will stare straight at me and toss the food to the ground but if I make no reaction he stops. The same can not be said for ignoring the whining (Oh. My. God. The whining) or smacking. 

ETA: um that's him smacking me, not the other way around, it sounded sort of bad when I re-read it.

tiffletons518

Second child syndrome man. I am lucky that DS for the most part has been a dream. Only your normal separation anxiety, growth spurt induced whining, and things like that. DD2 though. Obviously preface this by saying I love her to pieces and she's an amazing kid. Now having said that, there have been many times hurling myself down a flight of stairs seemed more appealing than trying to take care of her. She was a miserable baby who cried all the time, and was closer to 3 be when she finally started sleeping through the night. It sounds terrible, but even though I thought she was my last I did not spend a whole lot of time "enjoying" her. It was mostly trying to survive raising her. Some days it still feels like that. I discovered that's how I got so skinny after her. I started staying at home with her and H worked 60+ hour weeks on nights. I channeled all my frustration into working out so I wouldn't lose my shit on her.

RedCherry1109

I'm dealing with the same thing. Usually in the evenings, he get ready clingy and some I just can't handle it while dealing with my other two boys. LO still wakes up and usually ends up in bed with us because he won't go back to sleep. I finally got him sleeping in his crib during nap times. I just have to work on bedtime because he is up til almost 9 pm. I ready for a good night sleep!

MorganWP

Im late to the party. But this. AAAALLLL of this. This past week has been understandable because she hasnt been feeling well and she cant exactly tell us whats wrong. But the rest of the time its a battle. I mentioned in the tantrums thread that the terrible twos are setting in early and ohmygoodness, its exhausting.