Question about Doing the Deed

MLSprague

I went through several pages of posts looking to see if this question or discussion was done and I saw nothing. My doctor (and from what I have read online) has said that I can still do the deed with my husband, but my problem is I don't feel like it. I don't mean to sound whiney but I am simply looking for some advice. Before I got pregnant, I had a pretty high sex drive and now my sex drive is non-existent. I feel uncomfortable in my skin because of the changes my body is going through but my husband tells me that I am still beautiful and not to worry about the changes. I feel bad that I am turning him down and don't want to hurt his self-esteem. This is also my first time pregnant, so I don't know what to expect. In the end, I am simply looking for advice about:

- if anyone else is experiencing this? 

- will my sex drive return and when?

Please? Any bit of advice would be helpful. I know I can always suck it up and maybe I should, but I was looking for a little advice and some suggestions first. Thank you, in advance. I appreciate it!

Jay_Cee

I think most women experience that in their first trimester. Sometimes women get their sex drive back in the second tri, but it often goes away again in the third tri due to being so large. I don't have much of a drive, but pregnant sex is really amazing haha. You can always fake it 'til you make it if you are feeling well.

PeaceofKia

I'm going through that right now...I've totally lost my drive, only up to it maybe once a week. It's hard to explain to him because I know he has needs too, but getting aroused just isn't something I can easily do right now. I think it's a mixture of the fatigue, hormone changes and comfort/concern I have that makes it difficult. I had the same thing happen when pregnant with DD but after the fist trimester my drive returned so hopefully it does this time too.

ConstanceGoodspeed

Everyone is different.

I had no sex drive early on, but by the time third tri rolled around I was so horny I was having sex dreams almost every night. 

Conversely, there were many, MANY times when I did not feel like doing it but did, just to be nice to DH. Especially pp.

HerHighness

I go thru phases right now where I'm either super horny or i dont want anything to do with him. It really depends on how sick i have been. Im on the 24/7 hangover train. 

I would just explain to him how you are feeling and that it isnt because you dont think hes sexy as hell. Your sex drive will come back as soon as you feel better. Try to embrace your new curves and realize that they arent cheeseburgers... Just baby. 

michelle142

It's normal to feel like that during 1st tri and beyond. You're tired, possibly nauseous, possibly uncomfortable.

For most, that turns a corner in 2nd tri and you won't be able to get enough

Bottom line: you don't feel like it? Then don't. There's plenty of time for that later!

mommy5point0

I was you with my last pregnancy. It wasn't even a self consciousness. I just didn't feel like it, and before I was pregnant I would be clawing at DH at least 3x a week. It may just be hormones. BJ's are likely out of the question because of MS and gag reflex but that would keep lots of husbands happy, I think.

Hopefully he's understanding. It really is temporary, I promise. Your libido may return in the 2nd trimester or after birth. Either way, it WILL come back! Hang in there. (hugs)

Frommbaby

So I was having sex until about three days ago when I started bleeding. So we are on hold right now. I wasn't ever in the mood but he was so I gave in but let me tell you once you actually start messing around then it is AMAZING. Pregnant sex is different. Lol.

jaztastic

DH is worried about doing something to the pregnancy, so he has been withholding the goods. Last week I had some spotting from my ultrasound and then from the meds I was taking that has since gone away, but he still wont give in. The first couple of weeks weeks 4&5 I had absolutely no desire, but its coming back a little now.

I would just say give it time. I hear a lot of woman say they crave sex after the 1st tri.

JessicaxLynn87

I've always had a very low sex drive.  I pity my husband.  So for me, being pregnant, makes no difference because I already did not want sex pre-pregnancy.  With DD, I never went through a period where I really wanted to have sex.  Maybe this pregnancy will be different.  Once my bump developed, DH did not want to have sex anyways because the bump was all in the way, ha ha!