need to vent - BF is an idiot — The Bump
Blended Families

need to vent - BF is an idiot

I just need to get this out.  My DS is 9.5 yrs old and his BF has not acknowledged his birthday ever or Christmas or any other holiday.  In the one year that I was court ordered to send my son to BF for Christmas he did not get any gifts and had to sit and watch his sister and cousins open gifts as BF neglected to tell anyone that DS would be there.  He has been very, very inconsistent with having contact with DS as will go years with out speaking to him.  He now has a new girlfriend that is requiring him to step up when it comes to his son (it seems that he only ignores DS). 

To my vent.  He called a few days ago on his new girlfriends birthday to tell DS about all that things she got for his birthday and the plans they had.  I am fuming and DS seems very unaffected.  How dare he call out of the blue to tell DS about what he did for someone else for their birthday when he has not EVER called DS on his birthday even by accident.  Then to brag about what he did for her when he can't pay less than $300 monthly in child support. 

Thanks for letting me vent so that I can get it off my chest and move on but really how rude is it to call a kid and tell him about what you do for someone else when you can't be bothered to do for him.

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: need to vent - BF is an idiot

  • That's sad.

    BM in my situation does this with her FI's DS to my SD's. Brags about what she got for him and what fun tings they do (probably lies) but SD (at the age of 4) once told BM " what does that have to do with me "

    Sorry your DS is going through this and I know it's very frustrating.

    BabyFruit Ticker

                                                       

       Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers                            

     

    My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

  • Thanks.  I am amazed that an adult would feel that is ok to do.  I am also counting down the days until the new girlfriend figures out who he really is and leaves him.  Then he packs all his insane rudeness up and disappears. 

    @pamelacake, how are things with your family?  I remember a few pieces of your story from last year when things here were more active.  I never really posted but felt better being able to see my situation in so many of the frequent posters. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pamelacake
  • We were hoping the same thing would happen with BM and her FI but it hasn't. FI was the one forcing her to start contacting but at the same time helping her come up with lies as to why BM couldn't pick up SD's.

    DH went to court for modification, BM has supervised visits EOWE on Saturdays, and can call twice a week. The judge called me to be legal guardian in the event anything should happen to DH. We are trying to go back to court for another modification as this was put in about a yr ago. BM does more harm than anything, sounds a lot like BF in your situation.

    BabyFruit Ticker

                                                       

       Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers                            

     

    My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

  • Yeah very similar.  DH and I have been looking into step-parent adoption or at the very least for Dh to become legal guardian so that we can provide the stability DS needs.  I have been saving for a lawyer as I am sure this will be a huge fight.  Best of Luck to you.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks and best of luck to you as well. We didn't have to hire a super expensive attorney b/c of the lack of involvement/interest BM showed, along with all of the documentation. That may very well work in your favor as well. GL(=


    BabyFruit Ticker

                                                       

       Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers                            

     

    My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

  • How crappy :(. I would think this is impacting DS even if he isn't letting on that it is.
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  • @twister22 I am sure it is and it will come out soon.  I think DS is getting used to BF's particular brand of crazy and is starting to expect it.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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