B*fest Monday

pepperedmoth

I am going to WK for the person we're all calling out here because I have a ton of empathy for her. She's struggling. 

linzerd

SmittyPants said:

kirotea said:

nlane0723 said:

I can't stand people who complain about EVERYTHING and drag it out FOREVER. Especially when other women on this board had premature babies, stitched cervixes, a c-section incision that won't heal, ect. Your L&D experience is a 10 in comparison to the others. So you didn't get your drugs when you wanted them. Get over it already. It's been at least 3 months. Get off your throne and put your big girl panties on. The woe is me attitude is really unattractive. #sorrynotsorry

Don't forget the part about being "abandoned" ... like, every day.

lol, I thought I was the only one sick of it. 

 

This this this, all of this. It's spilled over to the FB page as well, so last night when I saw a post I promptly "hid all" posts from a person so it's not clogging up my news feed too. I'm sure I'd start to get a headache from rolling my eyes so hard and so often.
I have another, since this is my last day before returning to work, LO has decided she's not going to nap. She's been crying and fussing for a good 2 hours so far. So of course I can't get anything done that I need to before going back tomorrow.

SmittyPants

bennieangel said:

pepperedmoth said:

I am going to WK for the person we're all calling out here because I have a ton of empathy for her. She's struggling. 

Hmm. Mine was not aimed at any one specific person. Just a general observation. 

But if it's who I think it is (I'm usually out of the loop on any drama)...than I agree, she's really struggling & I am glad she has tb & fb as a way to get support. 

I still stand by the philosophy that repeatedly complaining about something keeps you stuck in the negativity rather than moving forward. But I guess that's just how I grew up. 

I'm not on the FB group, so perhaps I don't know as much about the struggles, in which case- that sucks. From just the bump though, it tends to come across as melodramatic when compared to what others on here are dealing with/have dealt with. I do agree with you though that dwelling on things can compound matters and make it worse. 

tsmith312

AriaAmante143 said:

nlane0723 said:

I can't stand people who complain about EVERYTHING and drag it out FOREVER. Especially when other women on this board had premature babies, stitched cervixes, a c-section incision that won't heal, ect. Your L&D experience is a 10 in comparison to the others. So you didn't get your drugs when you wanted them. Get over it already. It's been at least 3 months. Get off your throne and put your big girl panties on. The woe is me attitude is really unattractive. #sorrynotsorry

AMEN !!!!!!! There's some people even after L & D Still bitching , now its about their baby ! Or the lack of sleep they are getting bc of baby, or this OR that bc of baby.. SOME PEOPLE just aren't happy people. Or they are just dis-satisfied, either way its annoyinh !

I will say, I will always feel for the lack of sleep people. When your baby only sleeps two or three hours at a time, that absolutely sucks.

Hey, I only get 4-5 hours of sleep on a GOOD night.. I have empathy for people who get no sleep or very little!

bumpuser9058414

torilea said:

pepperedmoth said:

I am going to WK for the person we're all calling out here because I have a ton of empathy for her. She's struggling.  

I must be living under a rock because I have no idea who we're talking about here...

I'm with you

lnvane00

My bitch/compliant is I am so disappointed in my best friend being my 'best friend'. She has seen Jaxon ONE time since he was born. She lives 10 minutes away. I knew it had been awhile since she has see him and just today I realized that she saw him when he was 3 weeks old for maybe an hour and now he is 3 months today. I remember when I was pregnant she was so excited to be his 'aunt'. But has made absolutely NO effort to come see him and spend time with not only him but me.

On numerous occasions she would text me and say she is coming over 'this weekend to see us' and never does. It really really hurts my feelings but I have kept it all bottled up inside. I feel like such a loner who has no friends and everyday I'm sad about it. I know I can try to make an effort to go to mom groups and what not and I have. I went to a babywearing meeting and that was great. but that was one time since I have given birth that I have been out and done something. And its hard to really make new friends... 

I don't go out and do much because I have no motivation and it can get stressful if Jaxon is fussy and we are not home and he wants his naps very frequently.

But back to the friend thing... I've lived in our new house since April of 2013 and I can seriously count on one hand how many times she has come over here to hang out. I ALWAYS go over there. When she bought her new house I was over there THAT night helping to paint until 3 in the morning and then went over there pretty much every other day to help paint and hang out. I did not get anything near that in return... I have never talked to anyone about this but it really hurts and I feel so 'unwanted' I guess you could say.. I just cant believe that she makes no effort to see Jaxon..

I know I could drive over to her house with him and MAKE her see him.. but I want HER to make the effort to come to MY house and see MY baby..

and that is my bitchfestmonday

 

twinlove314

AF decided to show up today. I had two tampons at home, and forgot to bring them to work with me. I guess my "in case of emergency" pp pad in the diaper bag will do I'm out of practice with this AF stuff

lnvane00

@CHPhotoMama I would totally hang out with you and SO many other M14 moms! I seriously wished we all lived in the same neighborhood and could just hang out all the time that would be so awesome to have a group of friends like you girls IRL. If only our 'friends' knew how we felt....

@bjd316 At least we all have each other. Online besties haha!

WoodShopGirl

CHPhotoMama said:

I'm nursing LO in a dressing room right now. That's not the problem. The problem is I am trying on clothes. I don't hate my body. I just don't know how to dress it anymore...

I did clothes shopping today too. I think I had to bring in 3 different sizes of everything just to find my new fit.

But I think I got my look down. Trousers, blouse, structured jacket.

Covering up my new boobs for a conservative work environment is hard.

AriaAmante143

CHPhotoMama said:

@lnvane00‌ I'm in the same boat. It's hard to make friends, especially with a new baby who likes to stay home. My one friend in this town moved when S was 4 weeks old. If you lived closer I would totally hang out with you. :-)

I'd hang with you too. I have friends in town, but my best friend lives two hours away and has never seen my baby. Ever. I was in the hospital with her when her son was BORN. I get the pain you're feeling

WoodShopGirl

kbmac613 said:

My BF is that I only pumped 2oz this morning before work.  That's not going to replace the 4oz bottle she took for a morning feeding. 

Oh yeah, and it's Monday and I'm at work.

Asher hit my phone and he may have hit the flag button on your post. Please disregard.

kimberpoo

just general bitches today, I'm not that special or unique:

LO gets fed when I go to bed around 10:30, wakes up at 2 for a feeding, and then between 4 and 6. totally ok when I wasn't working!! but now, I need to get up at 6:20 to drop off LO and make it to work by 9. those days when he wakes at 4:30/5:00 are super sucky because by the time I feed him, change him, and put him back to sleep I don't have enough time to really get any rest before the alarm goes off DH helps, but he sucks at getting lo back to sleep and I can't fall asleep until he is back in bed anyway. so I've been winding up suuuuper tired on these days. It's only been a week and I'm really hoping I can get LO to sleep til 6. so far no luck. I'm also really not wanting to go to bed early, because by the time I get home at night it's already 7 so when am I supposed to see my baby? That's the hardest part about work...not being with LO enough.

( 

also, working sucks. it feels so unnatural to give someone else my baby to 'raise' him during the day. and then....when I'm a grandma, I might 'raise' someone else's kid during the day! so unnatural feeling. can we all just stay home and raise our own babies??

also, even though at times I feel really lonely when no one is around and it's just me and lo, I don't want anyone around except my besties and dh. I want all the baby snuggles for myself. I'm so lucky that lo has so many people around that love him! I think I just get overwhelmed and want to hold my baby more than share him. selfish maybe! but I don't care.

andplusalso, I wish I could go on a tropical vacation. with a swim up bar!!! yes!

kimberpoo

oh and this isn't really a bitch, but I'm sad that the FFFC thread didn't have more confessions on it. I love reading the 'naughty' things other mommies have been up to and I didn't get a good fix last week! I hope we have some good juicy BFM's today

kimberpoo

OH and I do have another one...

I don't know when the heck we are going to get LO baptized. I went with DH's family last week and the priest did the 40 day prayer (greek orthodox) but DH doesn't ever get weekends off from work and I hate for him to have to use the little bit of vacation time he has. he might just have to use it though it sucks because working swing shift/midnights means he has to take at least 2 days vacation since he would normally have to sleep from the night before then go in until 6 am the next day.  PLUS the church is going to want us to pay 'back dues' for the last 3 years, amounting to over $1,200. even though we moved an hour away so we don't go to church they expect us to pay every year! I'm hoping we can talk them into letting us just pay for this year's dues (still almost $400 but better....) oh andplusthistoo: the baptism is supposed to be a huge shindig. everyone invited to the baby shower is expected to be invited (over 80 ladies plus their families) and then I'm supposed to host and feed them after. I love big gatherings but I can barely feed myself right now...how am I supposed to organize a big event? plus paying for all those people is going to be a big burden. I've got to figure something out.

don't get me wrong, I want LO baptized asap! just overwhelmed with everything that comes with it.

saisongbird

I'm going to acknowledge the call out.  Yes, I've posted about it.  If you want, I'll stop.  It IS an issue I'm struggling with, and yesterday morning scared the crap out of me.  I didn't know what to do, and there are a lot of people of this board and the FB page with a lot of knowledge and various perspectives  It sucks to pump as much as I do and get 12 oz a day.  Whatever.  I bitched because that's what this thread is.  But if it's bothering people, there, I'm done.  I'm not going to say anything else on this topic so we can just move on, and I'll get help from other places.

I've supported people from day one.  And while I haven't been as active, I've been lurking and trying to keep up and knowing what people are up to.  Forgive me for posting how I actually feel.

teachermommy9967

So I run to the grocery store and am gone for 15mins max when I get a text saying baby boy had a poop explosion and I need to hurry home. First of all "are you kidding me???" Why do I need to hurry home, change him. And second...what do you think i am doing? I'm not browsing around our super tiny small town grocery store I will be home when I get everything we need just like I said I would.

So less then 5 minutes later I show up to find DH, SIL and MIL (they had stopped for a visit) all in his nursery. Seriously people he is one baby it doesn't take 3 adults to change his clothes and diaper. I then find out that SIL changed LO while DH stood there. I think he has maybe changed 5 diapers in 12 weeks. Seriously man change your kids frigging diaper I won't kill you

Sorry for the long rant

SassyFlats

My BF is pointless call-outs. Everyone has different thresholds for things like pain, disappointment, loneliness, stupid people, etc. But if you're unhappy with how someone else is coping with life, ignore them. Hide their feed. Unfriend them. Whatever. But calling out like this only makes some people feel like they're part of the "in" crowd and other people feel awkward and alienated.

You know what I do when I feel like someone is clinging to something long after I've given all the advice and empathy I can give? I stop responding and *I* move on. I get over it. Because I can only control my own choices and actions, not anyone else's.

/bitch out

saisongbird

I'm sorry if it comes off that I'm trying to one-up people - it's not my intention.  I'll definitely try to watch for that.  I love my H and my LO and he's amazing with her.  Amazing.

We don't hide things or beat around the bush in my family.  So I didn't do that here.  But I'm one to agree with @SassyFlats - I definitely feel awkward around here now.  

LittlePigeon

CHPhotoMama said:

@saisongbird‌ I'd like to see you be more positive, because I would like for you to feel better. I know you've had a really hard time with what happened in your delivery, and it seems like you haven't had the greatest support system for dealing with those feelings. If it's still affecting you, have you considered talking to a therapist? I don't say this to be bitchy! I really think it could help.

I can see why others feel like you've thought your situation was *worse* than theirs, but I don't think that was your intention. I think we'd all like to see you move past the negative and focus on the positive. Not because we don't care what happened, but because we care what's happening now.

Re: breastfeeding - I understand that that's a current issue and you're struggling. I think it's great that you've worked so hard to provide A with as much BM as you have so far. If it's something you continue to do, I hope you make peace with how it's going.

Live in the present, and try to enjoy what you can. I personally haven't offered much when you've posted because I thought you were mostly venting and nothing I had to offer would make a difference. It can be frustrating to feel like someone doesn't want to hear what you have to say. I hope you keep posting here! I don't want you to feel isolated. And I hope you take this how I mean it, with nothing but concern and support.

Stated so well!

nlane0723

Still crushing on. @CHPhotoMama‌

Ahutch428

@torilea‌ let me know if you ever want to go to lunch, or the park or something! I don't go back to work until August, so I am around.

pepperedmoth

@saisongbird, I definitely recognize some of the things others are seeing in you. It's definitely true that it still seems like you're perseverating on your (really rough) experience. 

It's also true that others had equally rough times and seem to be handling it a hell of a lot better. Three months later, most of us with sections and medical drama and NICU admissions are still upset about things, but we seem to have processed it a lot more --- kind of integrated it into the fabric of our lives and accepted it for what it was.  

This does not offend me, that you're handling things differently. This WORRIES me. I'm worried that PPD might be contributing a lot to how you feel. I'm super worried that you aren't in therapy. I worry that your feelings might be getting worse, like this last FFFC when you were so hurt by something that seemed innocent from the outside. 

I am occasionally frustrated by you when others make suggestions, like "go to therapy!" which you don't take, but this makes me worry MORE because a big feature of the depression of many of my loved ones (my father, my grandfather) has been refusing to get help because they believed no one COULD help them.

I am also occasionally frustrated by you when you do seem, as kirotea said, to be trying to one-up people. It can come across as self-centered but I don't think that's who you are. I think you feel lonely and isolated and like no one can understand. Because that's what it feels like to be depressed. I have SO been there. I have been concerned for your well-being since late pregnancy when I started noticing you seemed really stressed and easily hurt by small things (PPD can start in late pregnancy). 

Maybe I'm totally wrong and you really are entitled and self-centered, but I really, really don't think so. I think you're really sweet but that you don't have great coping skills. Pretty much I want to stage an intervention for you, reality-TV style. Unfortunately I can't do that. 

I never would have mentioned all this because part of me thought I was making it up. Then today when a bunch of other people said they'd noticed you were acting like that too, I thought, "Jesus, it isn't just me, she really IS doing those things," and I thought I'd speak up because yes, I've noticed the behaviors, but my interpretation is a total 180.  

LIS maybe I'm totally wrong about this and you would be well within your rights to bite my head off for assuming so much about you just from a stupid internet forum. But I don't want you to lose what support you DO have right now by feeling super awkward. I think you need more help than just us here on TB, but I can't control that. All I can control is me. And seriously, even when I think you're over-reacting, I am SO HERE  for you.

That was a novel. Just laying it all out there. 

pepperedmoth

And dude, @chphotomama, did you realize you're 53 weeks pregnant? ;-)

saisongbird

Thanks, ladies. I know therapy should be a route for me. I have underlying issues with therapy stemming back from childhood so we've been trying to find someone who doesn't put me on edge. We haven't had much luck with that, unfortunately.

I'm really not trying to one-up, and will just work at monitoring things as I write. There are so many things that are good, but I know my one issue has consumed me and since it is at the front of my mind, it takes over. I'll just try to be more aware and remember to share the good too.

pepperedmoth

The way that the one issue is consuming you is definitely not healthy. While you're looking for a therapist, will you at least check in with us in the PPD/PPA group?

SassyFlats

@CHPhotoMama‌ and @pepperedmoth‌ - you guys rock. I just want to high five you both.

@saisongbird‌ i have certainly felt like you were trying to one-up me when I have given advice in the past. I didn't really take it personally or anything, I interpreted it as you truly feeling like no one could understand what you're going through. I hope you'll take CH and Pepperedmoth's posts to heart... especially about depression (PPD or otherwise). I'm so sorry that you feel awkward here and probably even more isolated. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be supported and happy and whole.

rockopera

My bitch - my benefits withholding is all screwed up from my maternity leave. So after paid medical leave, when I switched to "unpaid FML," I got an invoice for my benefits. Okay, I expected that. But since I had vacation time to cover the 5 weeks, my withholding stayed constant and the invoice changed to only post-tax deduction stuff. Cool. I paid it. First week back, paid perfectly with benefits deducted, next week, no withholding. What? I'm back to work, why is this a problem now?!?. Now, I get an invoice for all of May (already withheld) and June (partially withheld). After a 30 minute call, they have to open a ticket to have someone look into it. I hate this crap.

Missfunball

nlane0723 said:

Still crushing on. @CHPhotoMama‌

Back off she's mine!

@CHPhotoMama‌ that was so well state to @saisongbird‌, I think you covered it well.

@saisongbird‌ don't go away! I'd be sad and I am glad you speak up, and noticed that someone from FB helped you with a solution. It's also nice for some lurkers who read but dont post or people like me who sometimes try too toughen things out. So there's that.

Missfunball

My bitch?

The cookie bowls I made leaked

saisongbird

Missfunball said:

My bitch? The cookie bowls I made leaked

Cookie bowls?  Please enlighten...

Pinecone21

saisongbird said:

Missfunball said:

My bitch?

The cookie bowls I made leaked

Cookie bowls?  Please enlighten...

Yes, what's a cookie bowl and what's leaking out of it? Sounds delicious even when nonfunctional!

ProudMommy030614

Hold up what's a cookie bowl?

jennybean80

@Laura8388‌ was talking about them the other day. Take cookie dough and form it over an upside-down muffin tin then bake. Fill with ice cream. Sounds deadly!

Missfunball

saisongbird said:

Missfunball said:

My bitch?

The cookie bowls I made leaked

Cookie bowls?  Please enlighten...

I wanted cookies dough Saturday night and posted on random thread then @Laura8388‌ , being the terrible influencer she is says doooo it , but better yet make it on an upside down muffin tin so it makes a cookie bowl for ice cream.


So I did. tasted great but don't use it as your only bowl is all, put delicious cookie bowl on plate with the ice cream

cdnmomma

My bitch - I don't have any cookie bowls.

Also, @CHPhotoMama‌ and @pepperedmoth‌ - best bumpies ever!

Missfunball

Laura8388 said:

My bitch - I don't have any cookie bowls. Also, @CHPhotoMama‌ and @pepperedmoth‌ - best bumpies ever!

All of this. Also, I have frozen cookie dough. Getting it out to thaw now. Also going to get ice cream:)

dont put the ice cream in the oven

pepperedmoth

The talk of cookie dough gives me another bitch:

No sugar for me except on weekends because I am srs about PP weight loss. 

BUT COOKIE DOUGH!!!!!!! *sigh---cries*

Missfunball

Milk and Cookies!

(Lo gets milk and I get cookies)

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Ahutch428

@CHPhotoMama‌ can I jump on this crush bandwagon?

@pepperedmoth‌ sweets on the weekend is a great idea! Might have to steal that strategy. Although I can't give up my skinny cow snicker doodle ice cream sandwiches when I jog! They are my motivation.