Bi-Weekly Wine and Cheese Party

buggirl72

Good morning ladies!

It's that time again. This is our bi-weekly check in, condensed version. Feel free to let us know how life is; you can b!tch, you can moan, you can brag, you can cry, whatever you want. Enjoy!

QOTW - If you could choose any fictional character, who would you be and why?

buggirl72

Check in:  H and I should be closing on our house tomorrow and moving over the course of the following week with our official first night there being Saturday! This is my 6th move in 6 years so hopefully we get to stay put for awhile.

H brought up adoption again last night. The ball really is in his court since his company is supposed to have "amazing" benefits that cover a lot of adoption costs. He was going to check into this in January, now it's "after we move in." He is set on getting an infant and I don't think he has a realistic expectation on just how long a wait list for that is.  I Googled some international adoption agencies and Haiti looks like a viable option for us. The biggest downside is that the process can take 18 months to 24 months and from my understanding, the child you are adopting is matched to you fairly early in that time frame - so they are stuck in Haiti waiting for the local court process to happen during that time. It just seems crazy to me.

H also brought up donor eggs. The plan on that front is to see an RE after the move-in and find out costs and our options.  H floored me when he said we need to find out how much a surragote would cost. I pointed out that as far as we know, I could be the gestational carrier. He is apparently worried that I can't and would rather not spend $10k to $15k on donor eggs only to suffer another second term loss. While I understand his fear and concern it hurt that he put it in terms of the money - be afraid of another loss, I'm okay with that, but don't be afraid of it from a financial standpoint.

Either way, he wants to find out the cost of both and what we would be facing. I get that. He also reminded me of our third option: just me and him.  I will admit to feeling a little guilty when he does that because I feel like he thinks that I think that just the two of us for the rest of our lives is not good enough.

QOTW - Why did I pick a hard one? I'm in a Jane Austen mood right now so I will go with Elizabeth Bennet. Even though I really would not want to be a woman back in that time period, I've always loved Pride and Prejudice and being the heroine in a classic love story is not a bad life.

shandorfml2

Hi ladies.

I'm doing ok...waiting to O, probably Oing tomorrow or the next day. This will be a weird cycle...I got pregnant with my DD on June 23rd, 2012. So, it's totally possible to get KU and have the exact same due date. I will also be induced at 37 weeks, and my daughter was born at 36 weeks 5 days, so it would be also possible for the same birthday. Which is fine, and I would be BEYOND thrilled to be pregnant...it will just be very bitter sweet. So, we'll see!

Hope everyone is doing well! We're having great weather in New England!

shandorfml2

@buggirl72  those are tough decisions, but I'm glad you guys will be finding out more info. I've always planned on adopting anyway after we have a few biological (I'm adopted myself). It varies from state to state, and I've often thought of how to go about it...adopt a baby locally (could take up to  years!) go to another state, internationally, or an older child (I wouldn't adopt above toddler age...I work with to many kiddos who have been so traumatized that they eventually end up being 'unadopted' by families due to behaviors). I hope you guys get lots of information so you can be fully informed. I'm amazed that your H's company offers support for adoption...that is awesome.

MyFirstRaspberry

Hello Ladies!

Let's see... since my last Wine & Cheese I found out that the tissue removed from the Hysteroscopy D&C came back as a partial molar and I am benched for a total of 4 cycles.  I am currently not on BCP because my RE wants to do some testing after my next AF and he didn't want BCP hormones to F up my results. After the testing, he will put me on BCP for 2 more cycles. At least while I am benched, I can continue with RE testing.

@buggirl72 - Huge congrats on the house!!  Settle in for a long stay.  I am glad to hear that YH is really open to alternative methods of becoming a parents. MH and I have discussed adoption as well. We have friends who recently went through domestic infant adoption. We are not at the point of making the adoption decision yet but it is not off the table.

@shandorfml2 - GL this cycle. Wow, it really would be a weird feeling to have the same  conception / due dates as your last loss. I feel the same way you do - I will take a healthy baby any day of the year.

BookishMomma

@myfirstraspberry That sucks that you are benched. I'm glad you're at least able to do some testing, though, so you can get it out of the way to the extent possible before you're off the bench.

@buggirl72 Wow, I realized that the wait is long for adoption, but I didn't realize that it was possible to get matched up so early in the process and STILL have to wait... how frustrating it would be to know that your LO was there, waiting for you, and that your being together was being held up by a bunch of red tape. I hope you and your H are able to grow closer in this obviously stressful decision-making process. 

@shandorfml2 ((Hugs)) to you as you face the milestone of when you got pregnant with your DD. All these milestones are so hard. I hope you will have good news soon.

@Hawkward Hope you are doing well. I've totally been stalking you on PGAL and was so happy to see your good update. 

As for me, I'm still waiting for AF. It's been almost 8 weeks since my D&C. Last week my beta was at 9, so I'll go back again this week to see if it's gone down to below 5. I am really hoping the wait will not be too much longer. We are benched until after I get AF and go in for a hysteroscopy. I turn 35 in July, plus my EDD for my first loss is in July, so I was really hoping to at least have gotten off the bench by then. 

QOTW: I would be Anne of Green Gables. 

shandorfml2

@myfirstraspberry sorry about the benching...but glad that time can at least be productive some how!

HeyMrsPotter

Hi, @Buggirl72. Thanks for the check-in. While I know it's good and constructive to have those discussions about options like adoption and/or DE, I also know it's just hard, and so fraught with potential emotional landmines... ((HUGS)). FWIW, I have thought a lot about international adoption, and a great recommendation I got from a mother who adopted from Haiti is to follow some bloggers who have adopted from the country you're thinking of. I really learned a lot that way and would encourage you to do so if that interests you at all. 

GL with the move -- here's hoping it's the last one you have to make for a while. 

@shandorfml2, I can see why your timing this cycle is leaving you with mixed emotions. ((HUGS)) and GL to you. 

@myfirstraspberry, I'm so sorry about the PMP and extra bench time. ((HUGS)). I'm glad you can continue testing in the meantime.

@BookishMomma, I'm sorry your betas are so stubbornly hanging out at that level so close but just above negative. FX that they get where they need to be and AF comes soon so you can get this show on the road. ((HUGS)) for the upcoming EDD, and despite the milestone it signifies, I hope you'll find a way to treat yourself and enjoy your upcoming birthday.

AFM, AF arrived Sunday, and this week I also reached the year mark of TTCAL. I know you all know how much those things suck. On a brighter note, I went in for a baseline U/S yesterday, and the cyst that caused our April IUI to be cancelled is now gone. So, our plan right now is to do another IUI this cycle. My RE is willing to try one or two more rounds of IUI at most, but given my low AMH, he's not optimistic. After that, we're ruling out IVF based on the still very low odds of success and high cost. So, if IUI doesn't get us there, we'll either just continue naturally and hope for a miracle, or seriously consider donor eggs. I have yet to wrap my mind around all that's involved with DE, though.

QOTW: Laura Ingalls Wilder, although like Bug, I think my character's time in history isn't a great one for women. But I'm sure women will say the same about us decades and centuries from now, as well. 

edited words

 

shandorfml2

@HeyMrsPotter‌ i hope this IUI is your miracle (((hugs)))

@BookishMomma‌ saw on the main board your betas still arent below 5. Darn. ((Big hugs)))

BookishMomma

Fingers crossed for you, @HeyMrsPotter‌, for this upcoming IUI cycle!

shandorfml2 thanks for the kind words. I just peeked at your chart. Come ON, crosshairs!

 

LaRomana09

Sorry I'm so late to the check-in!

@buggirl72  Yay for closing!  I hope moving is going well!  I'm sorry you and YH are facing such difficult decisions, but I hope that you're able to keep talking and decide what is right for you.  ((((HUGS))))

@shandorfml2  I'm sorry this cycle is such an emotional one for you.  I am keeping my FX for you.  (((HUGS)))

@myfirstraspberry  I'm so sorry you are facing more bench time, but I'm glad that you are able to continue with testing.  Big ((((HUGS))))

@BookishMomma I'm sorry your betas are not to zero yet.  (((((HUGS)))))

@HeyMrsPotter  I'm hoping so hard that this IUI is successful!

AFM, I'm just waiting out the end of my 2WW.  I tested yesterday at 10DPO to make sure my trigger is gone (it was still there at 8DPO) and it was negative.  Which sucks even though I know 10DPO is still early.  So now I will test again on Saturday, only because I have a long run planned.  It's amazing how I used to be such a POASaholic and now I dread it.  I am also trying to decide what to do next cycle if this cycle is a bust.  I can either do another natural cycle with IUI (after the last 2 weird cycles I'm not too sure about that one), give Clomid another try (that kind of sucked, too), or try Femara for the first time.  

shandorfml2

@LaRomana09 hopefully, this will be your cycle and you won't have to do clomid again or try femara! I'll be keeping my fx for you the next few days. I finally got my pos OPK, so I wouldn't have the same EDD as DD, but cutting pretty close to birthday...but, yah know...i'll take that rainbow any day!

buggirl72

@shandorfml2 - I like that + OPK! I hope you get some CHs soon!

@MyFirstRaspberry - OMG! I am so glad they got that tissue removed and found out it was a partial molar. ((((Hugs)))) for being benched but I'm glad you will be able to get your testing done during that time frame.

@Hawkward - Hi!

@BookishMomma - I'm so sorry your betas still have not dropped below five ((((hugs)))).

@HeyMrsPotter - thank you for the recommendation and I'm so glad that cyst is gone!

@LaRomana09 - FX this is your cycle and you won't need to worry about moving on to clomid and/or femara!

jbasore1123

Hi ladies, sorry this is just kind of a post and run. Huge (((hugs))) to all those who need them, and I apologize that I haven't been around much lately. I have been trying to step away a bit. I am coming up on my FET on July 31 and I've realized that TTC consumes so many of my thoughts every day and has for 2+ years. I want to prepare myself in case this doesn't work and some of that includes trying not to obsess as much. And I don't know why but I'm finding myself not being able to be as supportive as I want to be, and none of you deserve that.
But I'm chugging along on BCP, waiting for my first baseline u/s on the 18th.

shandorfml2

@jbasore1123 I totally get it. TTCAL can be obsessive and all-consuming. I wish you luck as you prepare!

jbasore1123

I felt badly about my post and run the other day, but I had some free time and wanted to offer support

@bugggirl72- Congrats on the house! Have a great first night tonight! And it's a very hard decision you and YH need to make, but I'm glad you're going to be getting more info. It's such an emotional journey.
@shandorfml2- FX for good timing this cycle! I can see why you feel mixed about it.
@myfirstraspberry- I'm sorry for the news on the test results and for being benched (((hugs)))
@Bookishmomma- FX that your betas are under 5 soon. I hope AF shows soon so you can have some closure.
@HeyMrsPotter- I'm glad to hear the cyst is gone. FX for a successful IUI this cycle
@LaRomana- I'm sorry to see a BFN on your chart today (((hugs)))