Favoring Daddy

cmsdouglas

In my head, I understand that I am being ridiculous, but I am feeling really jealous of DH lately.  I feel like he gets to do all of the fun stuff with Jane while I'm doing something else and I feel like I always have to be the bad guy.  For example, at night I will go wash the dishes, sweep the floor, pick up the toys, etc., while DH reads to Jane or while they watch a movie.  DH always plays with her during her bathtime while I get Lucy ready, but I have to be the bad guy and make her get out.  DH gets to help her hike over the mountains while I balance with the Moby wrap on.  When she wakes up, she'll stop and give me a small hug on her way to run into Daddy's arms to give him a giant hug.  She always wants to sit in his lap, have him read to her, etc.  

Rationally, I'm glad DH is involved and loves her so much and I'm really glad they have such a great relationship - I know that's not always the case.  Rationally, I know it's great that DH is willing to help with Jane while I nurse/rock/change Lucy.  Rationally, I know that she really does love me and she knows I love her.  However, the middle schooler in me is heart-broken because I just want to be liked, too!  I want to be invited to the Jane party, too!

This was more of a vent than anything else, but I had to tell someone.  If you feel like this, how do you squash the jealous feelings?

countrygrl5533

DD is a Daddy's girl too. I sometimes think it is natural that Daddy is the fun one while Mommy is the one having to clean, enforce rules, etc. I know I was a Daddy's girl too so I think it is really quite normal.

Can you have a morning where DH takes Lucy and you and Jane go have a Mommy/daughter date? Leave a bottle for Lucy and take Jane to the park, just you and her. Or whatever activity you two would like. If you time it right after a nursing, you'll only miss one nursing session so you shouldn't have to pump while you're out.

kalette

I take DD on girls days while DH stays home with DS. Today we are going to our lake cabin with grandma. I also make a big effort to go out to the park, story time etc.. just me,her and DS. I wear DS so I can still give DD my attention.

[Deleted User]

Your feelings sound totally legit to me! No one likes being the bad guy all the time. I'm guessing you do the chores while DH does the fun stuff bc J throws a fit if daddy isn't the one doing it? I would also suggest you find some ways to have mommy only days with her. DS is a mamas boy and I notice he'll show more affection and look for DH more when they've had some daddy only days. He's more ok when I go off to yoga or whatever to just stay with dad. So maybe if you get some mommy days then you can do some of the fun night time stuff instea of chores. Parenting a 2 yr old is hard, you should get to do some of the fun stuff too!

cmsdouglas

Sorry - didn't mean to post and run, we've been moving this week and life has been crazy!

Thanks for the advice.  We've had some Mommy/Jane time lately and I think it has helped.  I also realized that I was writing that on the tail of a three-week vacation during which DH was around a lot more than normal.  He does get to do a lot of the "fun" stuff normally, but now that he's back to work she's started showing me more affection again and wanting to spend time with me.

Two is a hard age!

eyenigh

Two is hard. They go through weird things. Lately, Alexander will yell "I scared of Daddy!" when my husband tries to approach him and he'll run to me and bury his face in my leg. Then when daddy is out of sight, he'll look at me and say "I not scared of Daddy" and laugh. It bums Daddy out but Alexander thinks it's hilarious.