Manada and Healz413's very sad news (loss discussed) — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Manada and Healz413's very sad news (loss discussed)

@Manada and I have some very sad news. We lost both of our babies on Wednesday.

As many of you know, in utero we had been calling the babies "The Rockies" and "Rocky 1 and Rocky 2" because our theme song throughout IVF and pregnancy was "Eye of the Tiger."

Wednesday morning, with virtually no warning, Rocky 1's water broke. We were 21 weeks exactly.

At 9:31pm on Weds, Tavin Sara T. was stillborn. At 10:05pm Casey Elizabeth T. was born alive and lived for about the next hour and a bit. We lay with both beautiful, precious babies on our chests, and we spoke and sang to both of them while we held them.   


(This is @Manada talking: Tavin and Casey are so beautiful, and they both look so much like H. in different ways.   Tavin has a ridge on the back of her head that is a feature of H’s and H’s philtrum, which made her expression one that I recognized right away.  Casey has H’s lips, nose and ears for sure, and probably her cheek shape as well.   Both of our daughters also have H’s very distinct knees and her long monkey-toes; those were one of the first things I looked for.)  

We were very lucky to have our birth attended by our wonderful midwife even though we were obviously in the hospital. She caught both babies and was an incredible source of support through a day the horrors, sorrows, and beauties of which we have not yet really begun to process. 

We both feel so lucky for the 21 weeks we got to share with our Rockies and for getting to have both babies with us after they were born; we are grateful for the ways we did get to know them. We are also devastated beyond words at not getting to watch Casey and Tavin grow up together. 

We do not know for sure what caused the water to break and we may never know. On Tuesday we had an appointment with our twins specialist and everything looked great with the babies and with M’s cervix (which many of you know was shortened and had had put @Manada on bedrest for the last several weeks). The doctor was very happy and we returned home to bedrest.   Only 14 hours later, after M. waking up with a feeling of bladder discomfort and a very few minutes of mild cramping, Tavin's water broke abruptly and out of nowhere.   We went from waking up without reason for concern to paging the midwife and rushing to the hospital within 30 minutes.  

At the time of birth, there was an infection discovered in the uterus and amniotic fluid that was pretty severe and one that has not been adequately explained through research, nor can the doctors explain to us how or why it happened.  It may have been caused by the bleed a month ago, or that bleed may have been the first sign at that point that something was brewing.    We were so hopeful that things would be able to hold on until our babies would be safe, but despite the cervix doing well it happened.   There is no reason to believe the way this happened is related to the fact that we had twins or the cervix issues we had. 

Tavin's middle name Sara is after my aunt Sara who passed away from breast cancer several years ago. Casey's middle name Elizabeth is after Manada's great grandmother and after my mom's middle name.

We spent today making arrangements for our babies and on Wednesday we are planning to do a small outdoor ceremony with our families.

We love them both so much.

****loss discussed*****

We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.

Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 

***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***

FET #1 December 2014
Intralipid infusion on Dec 10. Transfer of 1 day 3 nine-cell embryo into my uterus on Dec. 19. (acupuncture immediately before and after)
BFP on Dec. 27; Beta 1 Jan 2 (14dp3dt): 665, Beta 2 Jan 4 (16dp3dt): 1859, Beta 3 Jan 6 (18dp3dt): 4449, Beta 4 Jan 10 (22dp3dt): 12,251.

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Re: Manada and Healz413's very sad news (loss discussed)

  • I am so very sorry. I keep hoping that this is not reality and not true, as I'm sure you do as well. You will continue to be in my thoughts always.

    No words are truly adequate right now. I hope that you have a beautiful ceremony on Wednesday. My heart breaks for you both. Thank you for sharing Tavin and Casey's creation and time with us. They were two very loved little girls.

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.


  • KH826KH826
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Photogenic First Answer
    edited June 2014
    Words cannot begin to describe the sadness and heartache that I feel for you both and your precious daughters. When I saw the subject line of this thread, my heart sank. As I read your eloquent words, I just cried for you and your family. I cannot express adequately how very sorry and heartbroken I am for you both. I cannot imagine what you both must be going through, but the one thing I do know is that you two are so in love and so supportive of one another... If there is any couple that can find a way through such a tragedy and support one another it is the two of you. I think I speak for our entire community here when I say that we are all here for you no matter what you need from us. I feel like you are both my friends and I have witnessed your journey for the last year and a half. If there is any way that we can collectively honor your daughters here, please let us know. You and your families will be in my thoughts... My deepest sympathy to you both...

    Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!


         *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581


    *********William George born June 4, 2014*********

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  • Sending healing energy and loving thoughts to you both. Thanks for sharing the birth of your beautiful daughters it brought me to tears. You all are in my heart and thoughts today.
    Same sex couple, Married 8/6/11
    Baby Oliver born 11/27/13

    TTC stats with donor sperm...
    IUI #1 with trigger, 1/4/13 - BFN
    IUI #2 with trigger, 2/1/13 BFN
    IUI #3 with tigger, 2/28/12 BFP EDD 11/21/13
  • There are no words to express just how heartbroken I am over the loss of your two precious babies.  I'm glad that you had the time that you did growing and nurturing your babies and holding and cuddling them after they were born.  It's just devastatingly unfair that you didn't have more time with them.  As part of this community I feel honored that you shared their birth story with us.  I can't imagine how difficult it was to write.  My heart is with you and mourns for your daughters. My very deepest sympathy and love to you all.
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  • trisholiosboitrisholiosboi
    10 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited June 2014
    Words cannot express the hurt I feel for you. I sit here on Columbus Pride morning waiting for all of my girls to wake up and I'm sobbing. Thoughts and prayers are coming to your family God speed. I wish you a speedy recovery and a thorough grieving process.
  • We are here to support you in whatever capacity that is. We love you and we grieve with you.

    Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
    First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013

    C began IUI's
    7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140....  6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014

    03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!

    1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.

    Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!


    Check out my blog at:




  • Oh M and H...I can't imagine what you are going through right now.  I appreciate that in the middle of your grief, you took the time to write out such a beautiful tribute to your daughters so that we could share a little piece of their lives.  I will be thinking of you often and wishing you strength and sending love.  I'm so, so sorry for your losses.
    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

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  • As others have said, there are no words here but a community who's hearts are breaking with yours. I'm so so sorry. I'm glad you got to hold your Rockies as they have proven to be such fighters. Please know we are all thinking of you both and your family.

    10 medicated IUI's (3 with injectables). 
    IUI #1 (medicated) Jan. 2013-BFP!!!!- Beta's didn't double, MTX shot for possible ectopic.
    8 IUI's between April 13-April 14 = BFN 
    IUI #10 and final before IVF, injectables May 2014- BFP!!!!  TWINS!!!!

    7 week ultrasound showed 2 wonderful heartbeats!
    8 weeks to the ER with vaginal bleeding while on vacations!  Diagnosed SubChorionic Hemorrhage.  Babies are both great.
    9 week ultrasound showed both babies are still great.
  • My heart broke reading the subject line and then your beautifully written post last night before bed, and I woke up praying it was a bad dream...I am so, so, so sorry. There is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain, but know we are all here for you both.

    I'm so glad you got to hold your babies and love on them. @Manada your description of how they looked like H was so sweet. Those little Rockies had two incredible parents for their short time and they couldn't have been luckier. It's not fair that this happened, and I'm so sad for you both.

    I love their names by the way :). Thank you for taking the time to allow us all to be a part of Tavin & Casey's lives!
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


  • I am so sorry for your loss.  The loss of a child is so hard let alone two.  Keep them in your memory everyday.  I know for me sharing my story on here was very healing and once I was ready sharing my story outside of the bump and letting people know that I had a child and R and I were mothers also helped heal my heart. 

    You will be in my thoughts these upcoming weeks and months.  Once again I am so sorry for your loss.

    Me: 30  DP: 30


    IUI#1 9/26/13 BFN

    IUI#2 10/26/13 BFP beta #1 99 #2 456

    2/20/2014 Brynlee Madeline is taken too soon at 19weeks she was perfect

    IUI#3 6/10/14 BFP beta #1 276 beta #2 722 20w A/S shows we are having a girl




  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers, love and light to you both and to your families.

    IUI #1 - November 2013 - BFN
    ICI #1 (home) - May 2014 - BFP!! Beta #1 - 5/30 - 164; Beta #2 - 6/6 - 4794!!!

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  • I am so, so sorry.
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  • What a beautiful post about such a sad time. You'll all be in my thoughts. 
    Me:37;  Female Partner
    TTC#1 since 12/2013

    Natural Cycle IUI #1 : BFN, December 2013
    No surge, Possible No O: January 2014
    Natural Cycle IUI #2 : BFN, Feb 2014
    Natural Cycle IUI #3: BFN, March 2014
    HSG- all clear: April 2014
    Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone IUI #4: May 2014, BFN
    Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone IUI #5: June 2014, BFN
    Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone IUI #6: July 2014, BFN
    Clomid + Ovidrel + Progesterone IUI #7: September 2014, BFN
    Gonal-F + Ovidrel + Progesterone IUI #8: October 2014, BFN.
  • M & H, my heart breaks for the loss of Tavin and Casey. I am so so sorry that your time with them was too brief.  Thank you for sharing your birth story and your grief with us, I weep for their beauty and strength and their spirits that will always be with us.  I will keep you both and your little Rockies in my thoughts and prayers. 

  • Like others, I could not believe the words when I read them; I cannot imagine how you both felt living through the actual events.  This is such a tragic and sad outcome.  You both are such beautiful people and your babies reflected the light in you.  May your whole family find peace during this difficult time.  You are in my thoughts. Take care of each other.  

    37, married to my favorite person in the world, DW! One darling surfer-girl (12) and one darling, sweet boy born 3/16/13.

    5/2013 Started TTC #3, DW's turn: 5/2013: Diagnostics (shg) and surgery (polyp rem.) for best chances. July-Oct: IUI # 1-4, medicated, monitored, triggered.  All BFN. IVF in Jan May. Sheesh. Whoop! IVF#1 cycle started 4/2/14. 5/1: 19 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, ICSI'd.  4 fertilized.   Only 2 to transfer/freeze stage. 5/6: Two embryos transferred. 5/15: Beta #1 9dp5dt is 134! BFP! 5/19: Beta #2 13dp5dt is 672! B'erFP! 5/21: Beta #3 15dp5dt is 1853.  Yay!

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    "Things separate from their stories have no meaning. They are only shapes. Of a certain size and color. A certain weight. When their meaning has become lost to us they no longer have even a name. The story on the other hand can never be lost from its place in the world for it is that place.” ― Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing

  • So truly sorry for your heartbreaking losses.  
     TTC at age 37
    Feb '14: Unmedicated IUI=BFN
    March '14: Ovidrel + IUI=BFN
    April '14: Ovidrel + IUI=BFN
    May '14: Clomid, Ovidrel, Prometrium+IUI=BFN
    June '14: Ovidrel, prometrium+IUI=BFN
    Aug '14: Letrezole, Ovidrel, prometrium +IUIx2=BFN
    Oct '14: Letrezole, Ovidrel, prometrium+IUI=BFN
    Nov '14: Letrezole, Ovidrel +IUI
  • I am so sorry. I have been following you and the Rockies for some time, and this is so devastating. You ladies and your beautiful girls are in our prayers.

    Me-33 DW-29
    together since 2009
    Married since 6/14/13 
    1st IUI (clomid+ovidrel) 10/14/13... BFP 10/26/13...                                                         
    EDD 7/1/14 ...MMC 11/22/13...D&C 11/25/13
    2nd IUI (clomid+ovidrel) 1/15/14...BFN 
    3rd IUI (unmedicated) 2/12/14...BFN
    4th IUI (clomid + ovidrel) 3/10/14...BFN
    home ICI (unmedicated) 4/4/14...BFN
    home ICI (unmedicated) 5/2 & 5/3...BFN
    5th & 6th IUI (clomid + ovidrel) 5/28 & 5/29...BFN
    7th & 8th IUI (follistim & ovidrel) 6/24 & 6/25....BFN
    **all are welcome**

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic  image Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic 

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  • pauljlpauljl
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Photogenic
    How loved Tavin and Casey are! My heart is broken for you and at the same time I celebrate their lives. What you wrote was absolutely beautiful. Words seem empty, but know that you are carried in the hearts of so many.
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  • Words can not describe how sorry I am for your loss. 
    I'm 35, DW is 33
    Together since Dec 2007
    Married since 18 June 2011

    TTC #1
    1st IUI - trigger, 9 July 14 at midnight, IUI - 11 July 14 at noon - BFP!!
    10 Dec 14 - Lost our Baby Girl to Hydrops & Cycstic Hygroma due to Turner Syndrome
    TTC #2
    2nd IUI - hoping to try for our Rainbow in the Spring
  • yacheeyachee
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Photogenic
    I have no words. My heart aches for you both. I am so, so, sorry for your losses. 
    Me: 31, Wife: 32 (met when we were 15)
    Married to my beautiful wife/baby mama on 07/07/07
    My brother is our KD
    5/2012: 5 cycles of at-home tries - BFN
    1/2013: 4 medicated IUIs - BFN
    6/2013: 1 IVF - BFP w/twin girls! Born 2/27/14!

  • I have tried multiple times over the last two days to come up with the words to say to you and nothing seems adequate or even come close enough to expressing my sadness for you both.  We have all grown to love "The Rockies" and I would hold my breath with each update on them hoping for the best.  I love the names you chose for your beautiful children.  You and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers and as previous people have expressed, please let us know if we can do anything for you.
    T & G My wife and I married 9/10/11 in Niagara Falls, NY
    HSG 12/12/12        
    #1 ICI 12/15/12              BFN on 12/29/12
    #2 ICI  1/11/13                BFN 1/28/13                       
    #3 ICI 2/11/13                 BFN
    #4 ICI August 2013,  Clomid 100mg    BFN on 8/30/13 
    #5 ICI September-Clomid 100,  mg ICI 8/15 and 8/16,  BFN on 9/3
    #6 ICI October-Clomid 150 mg for 5 days   BFN 10/27
    uterine laparoscopy on 11/14-no endo or cysts
    #7 IUI December-Clomid 150mg    BFP 12/21
    12/23 Beta 51     12/26 Beta 209!
    First ultrasound on January 8th 2014-great healthy heartbeat
    Second Ultrasound January 23 (8 weeks) we got to see and hear the heartbeat
    Third Ultrasound Feb 4th(10 weeks), then will  released to OBGYN'
    It's a GIRL!
    We welcomed Adalyn Cooper Elizabeth on 8/29/14
    She was 7lbs 11oz and 19.6 inches long

    Proud foster parents to two little girls ages 2.5 yrs old, M,  and 1 year old, K

  • There aren't enough or the right words to express how sorry I am to hear this news. Our thoughts are with your family. Thank you for sharing Tavin and Casey with us.

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  • My heart absolutely sank when I read the title of your post.  I'm so sorry.  This truly isn't fair.  Please know that we are all here for both of you and would love to help out in anyway that you need.  You both are in my thoughts and my heart during this extremely sad time.

  • I an so very saddened by this. I am incredibly sorry for your loss. I've been following your story with eager anticipation since your pregnancy announcement. This is heart breaking. I wish I could do something tangible to be there for you both...cook you a meal, clean your home, just help you through this. Please know that my love and thoughts are with you and your sweet baby girls at this time.
    IUI #1 - 10 April 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #2 - 05 May 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #3 - 05 July 2012 unmonitored and unmedicated with RE 
    IUI #4 - 30 August 2012 medicated and monitoredLetrozole and Ovidrel Trigger 
    IUI #5 - 27 September 2012 Letrozole 
    BFP! 9 October 2012 Betas:- 12DPO 16; 16DPO 96; 18DPO 315

    Baby Alarico born on 28 June 2013!!

  • I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your baby girls. It is devastatingly sad and you are such wonderful people, im so sorry this happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope you find some peace in the following months.
    My name is A, I am wife to J.  After 7 months of ttc and one MC, we are expecting two baby girls in 2014!

    Long-Lasting Membership 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Photogenic
    I am so so sorry for your loss.  And I'm angry.  I'm angry that you two are going through this, and will continue to go through this.  And I'm angry that the world lost those two beautiful girls, who would have been raised by you to be amazing people.  I do hope you know that we are all here for you, and will do whatever we can to help.  Do not hesitate to let us know what you need.  We will start by lighting candles.  Sending all my love and support to you.

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!



  • Oh, no... I am so, so sorry for your loss :( I am crying for you both.  I realize we're virtual strangers with just an internet connection, but I've been with you in spirit for your journey and I've been rooting so hard for you.  I wish there was something I could say or do to ease your pain.  It's just senseless and horrible.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.  Please let us know if there's anything we can do.

    IUI 08/2013 - natural cycle, BFN
    IUI 10/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 11/2013 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 03/2014 - Clomid cycle, BFN
    IUI 05/2014 - Femara + FSH, BFN
    IUI 06/2014 - FSH, BFP! DS born 02/2015

    TTC #2 (and #3)
    W IUI 08/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W IUI 10/2017 - Femara, BFN
    W diagnosed as low AMH
    Me: PCOS
    Myo-Inositol, NAC, prenatals
    IUI 03/2018 - Gonal F - BFN

    INVOcell IVF September 2018 - BFP!!! B/G Twins born 04/2019
  • I am incredibly sorry for the loss of your daughters. I'll be thinking of you as you navigate this time.

    Be well and take care of each other.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you healing and peace.
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I am heartbroken to read this.  I am so sorry for your losses.  I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

    I have been lurking for quite some time as we are on indefinitely hold, but check in weekly specifically to see your updates.  You have been - and will continue to be - very much in my thoughts.
  • I am so, so very sorry for your loss. You are both in my thoughts. I hope the ceremony is a healing time for your family.
  • Words can not express how truly sorry i am for the loss you both have experienced. My heart broke reading this news Yall are in my thoughts.
  • I am so sorry for you both. My heart is breaking and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through.

    You both are in my thoughts and prayers. we will all be with you in spirit.

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    Married to M and proud mothers to Olivia and Elise (8/19/2014) and to our fur-babies: Capone (pitbull), Jax and Atticus (cats)

  • I am so sorry for your loss.  Know that we are thinking about you, and will be lighting a candle for your little girls.

    Me:31 DP:34
    Together since Sept 2005 Engaged on 3/22/14!
    Mommies to two dogs, our fur babies!
    ICI #1 2/11/14 - BFN
    ICI #2 3/14/14 - BFN

    HSG 5/5/14 tubes are clear
    IUI #1 6/12/14 - BFP!  Betas 172 13dpo & 522 15dpo

    <a href="" title="Pregnancy"><img src="" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

  • STL34STL34
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 250 Love Its Photogenic
    I am so very sorry for your loss.  Both of you and your baby girls are in my thoughts.

    image image

    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

  • Thank you for sharing your story. My heart aches for both of you and your beautiful girls. I hope you guys receive all the love, care and support you need.

    ME-34  DW-28
    Together since 1-2012
    Married 9-24-2013
    Started TTC with RE January 2014.
    Open donor sperm

    IUI #1 (1-31-14) Clomid + HCG Trigger=BFN
    IUI #2 (2-27-14) Gonal F + HCG trigger=BFN Benched for 2 weeks due to cysts. Placed on BCP
    IUI #3 (4-7-14) Gonal F + HCG trigger=BFN Benched for 3 weeks due to 6 cysts. Placed on BCP

    IVF#1 Lupron 10iu, Menopur 150iu, Gonal F 400iu, HCG trigger
    ER#1 (6-3-14) 9 Eggs, 8 Fertilized, 
    ET#1 (6-8-14) 2 Day 5 Blastocysts transferred
    6-20-14 BFP 12dp5dt Beta 114.9
                          15dp5dt Beta 365
    Low progesterone start PIO/Crinone
    6-23-14 Ultrasound shows no sac. Beta dropped. Chemical.
    IVF#2 Menopur 150iu, Gonal F450iu, Ganirelix, Lupron trigger
    ER#2 8-13-14 7 Eggs, 3 Fertilized and frozen
    FET scheduled for 10-11-14
    FET Canceled due to thin lining

    IVF #2  Fresh Cycle Scheduled for December 2014

  • T & P to both of you. So heartbreaking! Xoxo
  • I am now crying for your loss. Today is my first day checking the bump message boards since my preemies were born a month ago and I didn't think I would see this or anything remotely like this. My thoughts, prayers, and all that I can offer goes out to you both. I am so deeply saddened to read this.

    A & K, married 7/1/13.

    After 10 months of ttc via medicated IUIs and two early losses, we finally got our boys- Perfect premie twins born 5/27/14.



  • I haven't been on in quite a while, but wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and positive energy are being sent your way and I pray that you two find comfort in each other. 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying

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