I am a lurker, and was hoping to get a man's perspective on an ongoing issue with my husband. Here's the back story:
My family is wealthy. Not crazy wealthy, but my parents have made our lives easier than it would have been otherwise, and I am extremely close with them. My folks have been married 33 years, and live near us, watch our 13 month old for free, and we see them almost every day.
My husband's parents divorced when he was 11, and his father past about 9 years ago before DH and I met. His parent's divorced because his dad cheated on his mom. The only reason I know that is because my SIL told me. My husband has in the 8 years I have known him, mentioned his father maybe 4 times. He never talks about his feelings. He is divorced, and I know NOTHING of his first wife, except he left her. End of story. They had no children.
OK…..here's what happened. I am 24 weeks with our second. I had a UTI last week that developed into a full blown kidney infection. I had to be hospitalized for two days and three nights. My DH and I work together as we own a bakery, and we both share the responsibilities there. Obviously I couldn't do my part, so DH had to work 12 hour days to cover me. When I was released from the hospital (a stay in which he only came to see me once), he complained non stop about how tired and over worked he was. He has not once asked me how I am feeling. I felt so guilty that today I told him to take the day off and spend it with our son, and he stopped by work, but left after 10 minutes because he felt I was "being weird" towards him. Um. No. I still don't feel well, and I am just trying to get through the day. There is no weirdness. There is exhaustion, pain, and confusion. I realize this situation is a snap shot, but he does this all the time. I am not allowed to get sick, I am not allowed to be more tired than he, or more put out. I do everything at home. Laundry, cleaning, etc… and yet when I have "the nerve" to mention it, he shuts down and won't talk to me for days.
I sincerely feel like he hates me. I don't know how to act around him. I feel like I can't be honest, or I will suffer the silent treatment. I mentioned the stuff about my family because I feel like that all adds to his resentment of me.
Am I wrong? Any insight? You are incredible if you made it through my diatribe….