S/O: Leaving baby in a car- murder?

KentuckyKate

Didn't want to clog the confessions thread but it got me thinking. While it is undeniably a tragedy and makes me terribly upset to hear about it, do you think parents who caused their child's death in this way should be charged with murder/felonies? I know sometimes there really are crimes and neglect involved in these cases, but I also think there are loving parents who make this horrible mistake due to a change in routine who are just not criminals. And I think it's awful that there is no consistency. Some parents are are tried for murder and some aren't even charged, with the same circumstances.

Here is an excellent article about it.

https://wapo.st/SOwhu8


It's kind of long, but it goes into what I'm saying about the inconsistencies. Here is the part that really made me empathize.

"The wealthy do, it turns out. And the poor, and the middle class. Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organized, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist."

Thoughts?

ASmallWonder

No, I don't think they should be charged with murder.  I think people who abuse (but don't kill their kids) should face harsher punishments than those who accidentally cause the death of their child, actually.  Intent matters.

musicalsilver

DH and I have been talking about this - I can't wrap my head around a murder charge for this.  Well, if it's a genuine accident.  Horrible, horrible tragedy, but not murder.  

There was a baby rescued from a car this week (windows down, sunroof open) because the mom had left her baby in there while she went to take an exam.  If something had happened, that would definitely be a straight out murder charge in my opinion.

momofcatan

In my eyes its pretty simple. If when the parent left the car they knew the child was in the car then it is a crime and then should be charged. If they did not remember that the child was in the car then it was an accident. I think the only grey is when there was something like drugs or alcohol impairing the parent's memory or if the parent forgot about the child but also has a history of neglectful behavior.

dmlk413

If it was unintentional (like the parent forgot), I just think it is extreme to charge them with murder.  The parent will already be punished for their entire life with the knowledge that their child died because of their mistake.  I think treating them like a criminal just adds insult to injury. 

(Also, that article @KentuckyKate is great.  I think every parent should read it.)

nikel13

From what I have been reading of the story, this could have been an accident, but they haven't released some information.  At this point, I think a murder charge is harsh.  I think where I have the biggest problem is how there were so many oversights, both on the part of the father and the daycare.  This child was supposed to be dropped off at daycare.  Why didn't they call the father or the mother and ask why the child wasn't there?  He was supposed to be dropped off between 8:30 and 9.  If the daycare would have called, the child should have been okay at that time.  It wasn't that bad at that time in the morning.  My other issue was that the car was in a parking lot near a Home Depot.  Did nobody notice the child, at all?

H and I kind of talked about it last night.  He doesn't really want to say anything other than he thinks it's stupid that they are charging the man with murder and that he can't understand how he left his child in the car.  

This is a senseless tragedy and it seems that the DA is trying to make a lesson out of this parent.  I'm not saying that's a good thing.

nikel13

https://www.wfmynews2.com/story/news/nation/2014/06/18/hot-car-child-dies-cobb-county-georgia-ga-akers-mill/10805865/

Here's a link to the story.

dmlk413

@nikel13 I've always wondered why in these cases, the daycare didn't call the parents to see where the child was.  I feel like my DCP would be worried if I didn't show up with DD and didn't call.

numbersgirl08

I can't stop thinking about this after I read it. It makes me sick to my stomach. I just imagined myself getting in the car at the end of the day, seeing N in her car seat unresponsive, and knowing it was my fault. It's been my biggest fear since she was born, that i would do something to harm her or would unintentionally hurt her. I don't think I can handle that. Reading about these parents, I just don't know how I would deal. Putting myself in their shoes makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. I can't even think about the charges because I can't get past - what if that was me? What if that was N?

Cricket81

Isn't this sort of what manslaughter is?

jefk

@Cricket81 As I understand it, yes, this is the definition of manslaughter - killing that is not premeditated or done with malice.  I don't really understand why the father was charged with murder.  It's horrible to even say this, but I think in cases like these, the death of the child is punishment enough. 

This is something I worry about all the time.  DH always texts me to say he's dropped of DD at daycare.  On the rare occasion that I drop her off, I make sure I set an alarm on my phone so that God forbid if I do forget, there's a reminder.  I also always leave my purse or coat or something I need in the backseat.

lioness13

This is a local story for me so it's been discussed a lot around me.

Stories like this is why I leave my purse in the back seat. I do it now even when she isn't with me so it's a habit. It's a little annoying but this happens too much...

jefk

If it was an intentional murder, and he's using the "I left my baby in the car" situation as an excuse/cover-up, then he deserves to be charged with murder.  That makes this whole situation even worse.