Just plain terrified?

mamachelsea

Hi fellow bumpers! I am pregnant with baby #1 and am almost 24 weeks. I have been feeling baby boy move so much lately that I have been focusing A LOT on my upcoming birth experience. I really want to do all natural. Each time I read these beautiful birth stories and experiences of others it just brings on new waves of fear that I won't be in control (major control freak) and things will be unbearably painful etc. Anyone have strategies for a FTM to chill the heck out?

painttheair14

I would recommend learning about lots of coping techniques for when you're in labor. Even if you don't use any of them just knowing they are there can give you confidence.

MrsP7309

What worked for me was re-framing my thoughts on labor and delivery. My hospital allowed you to labor in tubs, and also allowed fluids, including Popsicles. So every time I thought about labor, I thought about hanging out in a warm bath while DH brought me Popsicles. It really helped me keep a calm vision of my labor and delivery!

barista411

Similar to PP I tried to imagine it as relaxing of an experience as possible. I love hot shower and feel so relaxed after a warm shower. I thought about being able to relax in a warm shower with calming music, and my favorite aroma therapy spray. I also used affirmations to prepare mentally and calm my nerves. Anytime I felt stressed I would go over my list of affirmations in my head until I relaxed. My two go to affirmations were "I am calm, I am safe, I am relaxed" and "My body will be so open DS will just slide right out and into my arms".

mamachelsea

Love the idea of positive affirmation, I have made it thru other intense things doing that. Thanks for the reminder that positive self talk works!! I will start visualizing a positive experience

drpayne

For some reason, reminding myself I'm not the first one to do this helped.  Women do it every day.  It's not impossible.

Also, know the stages of labor.  Chances are, once you're at the "What the f*** was I thinking?  I can't do this" stage, you're probably in transition and almost done.  I found pushing to be a piece of cake compared to those contractions. 

*LrCg*

My births have all been med free and being surrounded by friends/family who said it couldn't be done was actually an inspiration to me.  Believe it or not the person that got me thinking about med free was a cleaning lady at my office who had a med free birth, medicated birth and c-section and she told me that the med free was the easiest and fastest to recover!  Anyways, I never took any classes or had a doula, etc. I just read a ton of books and some of my favorites were: The Bradley Way (which helped explained to me what the body does during labor & confirmed that yes everything will be OK), The Thinking Women's Guide to a Better Birth (which gives an unbiased opinion of all pregnancy & birth procedures- so I understood why I did want certain things) and of course the Ina May Guide to Childbirth book (this has a ton of birth stories and I actually took a lot of tips out of the book that really helped me in labor- yeah for arm wrestling!).  When the time came, I really felt prepared and was excited and it was fun and beautiful!!  And I have to admit, the cleaning lady was right- I had a much faster recovery then all the people around me who told me awful stories and I had a much more positive experience too! 

jinnymb

I agree with the advice above.  I get scared every pregnancy even though I've been through it.  Immerse yourself in birth, keep reading the stories.  Watch a ton of natural birth videos, it will become so normal to you.  I also read the Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth and used lots of imagery everyday.  I kept imagining what my birth could be like, how the baby will move out of my body etc...

Essential oils can help a lot, panaway blends, stress relief, lavender. Keep reminding yourself that women all throughout history have done this and we all get through it and do it again ; )

You will of course be nervous and anxious over something you have never experienced but when your labor starts a lot of times your adrenaline kicks in and you go into mama bear mode and think about what is best for the baby. 

Transition is difficult and you will probably feel like you cant' do it anymore at that point.  I did with each one, but shortly after that my babies were here.  Just keep reminding yourself that pushing feels good and puts you back in control, so if you can just get there you can do it.

Also, I equate labor a lot to having the flu.  You feel like it will never end and then once you feel better it's like it never happened.  The urge to push feels a lot like having to throw up or go to the bathroom. 

You can def do it and congrats and good luck!!!!!!!!!

sschwege

Check out Hypnobirthing!

ivyreb

Definitely read Ina May's Guide to childbirth. I'm pregnant with my third, due in a week, and I just was rereading some sections to get me inspired. The mind-body connection is amazing!

My first two births were medication free, natural, and lucky for me, pretty fast. I just looked at the labor and birth as a very positive and exciting experiences. I was really looking forward to using my mind to control my body, and everything worked out.

I will say I think it's really important to be open to any intervention if needed, just to keep the whole thing positive. I know some people who end up with some form of intervention and then feel really sad about it. The labor and birth are just one component to the whole thing. Remember the end goal: a beautiful baby!