I'm new to all of this, so please be kind....

karlaluchanne

Hi all,

I am new to all of this so if you could, please choose your words wisely. I'm more senstive about this now after yesterdays doctors appointment. My husband and I have been TTC for 14 months now. Now, we may not time every month on the dot, but unprotected & (sorry if its TMI) putting semen inside me for that long. We have been married for almost 2 years. We have dated since we were 17. Very rarely did we have protected sex so I am surprised we never had an oops. Now the baby talk is on board and we are ready. Althought for 14 months nothing has happened. I have never had any kind of infection, my paps have always came back fine, I have never ever been pregnant, my husband hasnt ever gotten a girl pregnant (that i know of) and my periods are regular. Probably every 28 - 30 days. My doctor ordered me some blood work to test my hormones. TSH, T4, Protesterone, and Gulcose. I guess we were go from there. I am just wanting to know other womens experience with infertility. My insurance does not cover and I heard it can be expensive. Also, after my blood work is back. My doctor wants to have my husbands sperm tested first. but.... another issue. I have gained 50 lbs in 4 years. My BMI is 33 and my doctor had a student shadowing him yesterday and she told me with inferility, weight gain is a big issue and she considering over 30 BMI to be obese. I think is CRAP! but loosing weight needs to be done for me anyways. I met my husband and eat happily every after I was not a fan of that student. She apologized to me later. but man, that got to me. I guess she has a lot more to learn..?

Should we go ahead and do this or leave this in Gods hands? Prayers helps, I know. I'm definitley a prayer warrior.


Please be kind. This is hard for me to process. I feel we are at a right time in our lives, though we are young (26) we want a baby so badly...

 

Thanks!

TTCBabyJ

Welcome! I'm sorry you have to be here.....wow what a rude student. I mean I think we all know if we need to lose weight or not. Thank you for point out that out Captain Obvious

  :-B

I would definitely wait to see what the test results uncover before making a final decision because there are certain diagnoses where medical intervention will be necessary in order for you to get pregnant. Good luck with your testing!

karlaluchanne

Thank you! Yeah, the nurses asked me if it would be okay if she was going to be in the room. I said sure, she needs to learn. Little did I know she was going to frickin examine me. Not that the OB is awesome anyways... Sweesh! Lol

My doctor told me to call him after I get my period, which I am due for right now, any minute. I actually feel it coming on so just start already. He would order the blood work after that. If I dont get my period, well duh haha

theholmanherd

Welcome and best of luck. This board is very supportive and not typically snarky, so don't worry! We are all awesome and nice Sorry you have to be here, but hopefully it won't be for long.

ronniesgirl1981

Welcome and good luck! It seems you are working with an OB. Before moving forward with treatment, I super, highly recommend making an appt with an RE.

kushie77

Welcome, I'm sorry you find yourself here, but it's a good place to learn and for support.  

That student needs a lesson in bedside manners (or a throat punch)

It sounds like you are on the right path with bloodwork and a SA, they are all good jumping points.  

I hope your stay here isn't long. 

masterofallcheese

Welcome to the board! I am a relative newbie here but so far I have been continually impressed with the knowledge and compassion displayed here. I am completely OOP for everything so I understand the stress of costs, but I have noticed such a difference in care from the RE that I would recommend considering seeing one. Good luck!!

Waterlily234

I'm sorry about that insensitive person with a lot to learn. It sounds like she really overstated the case for weight affecting fertility.  Woman of all shapes and sizes get pregnant every day, and IF affects woman of all shapes and sizes as well.  It sounds like you are on the right path starting with the bloodwork and SA.  Please consider seeing an RE as I'm sure you will find they have better and more specialized knowledge than an OB. I'm sure you will get some answers and a plan and best of luck to you!

karlaluchanne

You ladies have been super helpful! Its amazing how much a stranger can make you feel better about an important part of your life. I am going to start eating better and excercising more. I use to exercise a lot! But yes it is hard to come to terms with something like this. I told my OB that I never considered being in this position in my life. I agree with the blood work and semem anaylis. That is good steps to take and we are going to do that and get ourselves healthier at the same time. I am thinking about buying an ovulation kit too. Ive only tried it once and it didnt work maybe one more time. Though, I havent started my period yet. Its coming, I can feel it. but I wish it would just come, hurry up and go away if it's really going to come lol.

Another comment about the student.

She asked what I do for a living. I work for a child protective service agency as an investigator.. Her comment back, oh that must be really hard for you to work there since you want a baby and all and you see parents mistreats their children everyday (which made me boo hoo again) but Umm, yes stupid. but I'm pretty sure its hard for everyone, whether you have children or not LOL

DenaMaree

I thought I would chime in on the financial aspect of fertility. We did all of our work with a RE and had my blood work done, a ultrasound so see how everything looked, and the semen analysis and our initial bill for all of this was around $1250.00. I'm in NM so of course this will be different everywhere. Insurance didn't pay for anything! That was they didn't pay for that initial testing but once I was officially diagnosed with infertility and they got the reports then I was "accepted" and they have been on board with paying on my fertility moving forward. Each visit to the RE after all the testing ran us around $425 a visit. It's been TOTALLY worth it!!

KT416

Welcome to the board!

Sounds the student definitely needs to work on her bedside manner! Hopefully she won't be there in the future!

My RE asked me if a student could watch my HSG (I was at a teaching hospital, so said okay), but little did I know there was more than one, so I had so many people in my lower business!

MelOzark

Welcome to the board!! You have nothing to worry about these ladies are all amazing and very informative.  I am rather new to the IF diagnosis but I can share with you what we have done so far.  

Consult to discuss, issues and concerns. They did blood work and a UA, pelvic U/s and sent me for the HSG.

Call the day I started my period ( CD1)

Go on on CD3 for baseline testing. - Blood work and a U/S to check eggs.  WARNING this is an internal u/s ( take out tampon) 

Once all my test results came back we went back for a consult and he told us our options. 

I wish you the best of luck! 

mindaa

It bugs me to hear about doctor's making IF patients feel so bad about their weight, when there are so many different factors involved.  I'm a friggin' vegetarian runner who's never been overweight, and I've been told to exercise less and eat more meat. So please don't beat yourself up.

How far to go in pursuing treatments is a very personal decision... there are frequent threads on this board that discuss the rationale behind different directions. Also, pursuing treatment is not necessarily "opposite" of keeping things in God's hands. You can do both  

 

JericaLH

Welcome! I am also new (been here less than a month) and the ladies on here have been nothing but supportive. If you read the pinned post for newbies it will give you some hints. Also, if you go to the Trying to Get Pregnant (TTGP) board they have a really helpful post about all the abbreviations you will see on here. DH = Darling Husband, SA=Semen Analysis, etc

It sounds like your OB has a good idea of initial testing but you might want to consider seeing a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) as they specialize in this kind of stuff. And I agree, that student was really rude. I am in the same BMI zone as you and my OB never mentioned it to me.

But here's to hoping your stay is short and sweet and you get that BFP (Big Freaking Positive!!!) soon! Good luck and baby dust!

tweetyknicks

mindaa: Yep, I was told to exercise less too (I do powerlifting and jujutsu).

OP: BMI was originally conceived as a measure of a population's health based on height and weight. It is only valid for large groups. Somehow it got rolled into personal medicine. Lab tests and u/s for the basics is a good place to start. My PCOS only showed up on the ultrasound.

karlaluchanne

I know this is very random and I cannot figure it out. How do you add pictures and whatnot to your posts?

aves0708

Welcome!  I'm sorry you find your self here, but I think you'll find that we are a great community ( although I am biased;)  ).  I also never thought I'd be TCC nearly 18 months after we cracked open that first bottle of wine and sad lets do this.  You have found a great place where we can all relate to the emotional struggles that goes with IF.  Also that med student needs some serious bedside manner reform!

I am going to echo some PP's and also encourage you to find an RE if you decide to pursue treatment.  They are MUCH more knowledgeable about interpreting test results and treating you properly.  I also have no IF insurance coverage other than testing.  We met with our insurance before we ever began testing, and then the RE clinic actually talked to our insurance company and both told us no treatment coverage.  It is worth everything we spend though, and actually they have been able to code my ultrasounds in a way that isn't IF related so most of them I have just had to pay my copay (this is another reason seeing an RE is the best way to go). 

Good luck with all of your testing and I hope your stay with us is short and sweet!

BunnyBerry

Welcome! I'm sorry you find yourself here though, and I hope your stay will be short!

I'm sorry you are experiencing such a shock. Especially as a younger woman - no one expects to have IF!

Don't worry about snark from this board - as long as you don't go on and on about your dozen children whom you conceived before you even ovulated, lol.

I'm not sure about using The Bump on a mobile device, but on my laptop, if you click the little head and shoulders silhouette under the word Community on the top right, then choose Account Options, and then click Signature Settings toward the left, you can add rich test. To add a photo, you need to first save it with a URL address using a site like Photo Bucket (I got an account there for the purpose) and then there's an icon to add a photo.

It sucks that IF testing is so expensive and not covered well. I suggest asking your RE's office for a price list so you can get some sort of idea about what the upcoming expenses may be (we needed some time to normalize it, but after a while it just feels like a normal albeit expensive part of life, like the mortgage or something). We definitely make all our financial plans around the possibility of IVF now.

As far as whether to move ahead of leave it "in God's hands"...well first of all I believe my whole life is in God's hands anyways, but of course you and your DH can pray for guidance. What we realized (after waiting a looooong time) was that we needed to take everything one step at a time - praying for guidance along the way and just seeing what we felt at peace with. The medical condition of infertility can be diagnosed because you've had over 12 months of regular, unprotected intercourse (not necessary for it to be perfectly timed - this is just normal regular sexual activity!).

As far as OPKs - the generalized instructions to test 3 days around day 14 actually don't apply to a significant number of women. You may find more success by using one or two per day (I recommend the really cheap ones off Amazon for this!) starting by day 10 and continuing until you see a positive. The first time you might want to continue until you see the positive fade after a day or two just to get an idea how your body works. At the same time, the only way to prove you really ovulated and didn't just start to get the hormone LH is to take your BBT temps right after waking, same time each morning, and see a sustained thermal shift. Actually, trying this (if it's not too stressful - for me it makes me feel empowered and like I'm doing something, that's totally free, to help) can be helpful for your RE to see how your cycle is. 

It's a scary, unknown, and expensive journey - but I hope yours is short. And we are all here for each other.

megrae12

Welcome. I am sorry you have to be here. I hope that bw and SA can provide y'all some direction and a plan moving forward. Have you thought about going to an RE?

karlaluchanne

OB did refer me to RE. I am going to look into it. Although, A doctors handwriting isnt much legiable I will have to research. I will probably start after blood work and DH semen analyis. I do have a urologist in mind for him in our area.

jaco0207

Welcome and sorry you find yourself here. 

That med student has a lot to learn about the insensitive comments. I am also among the group that needs to lose a few pounds, however as someone else pointed out, women of all shapes and sizes conceive. My OB never mentioned it, we are seeing an RE in a few weeks, and I am curious if they mention it for myself and DH. 

I am also in the OOP group, my insurance strictly prohibits anything with fertility. I stuck with my OB group for IUIs for about 6 months, in part because they offered a substantial cash discount. Now that we are looking into IVF we are switching to an RE. It is worth calling the business office of any Drs you are working with and asking about cost of procedures, also about if they have a cash discount policy. This helps to avoid surprises when you get the bill. 

Good luck, and you have found a very supportive board!

FLgirl812

Welcome! I am new, as well, to both this journey of infertility and to this board. I've only been here a short time and have already felt more support than I imagined. These ladies have been nothing but supportive and helpful, and I think you'll find that as long as you take some time to read the Newbie Blog and look around a bit, you won't ever have to preface your posts with, "so please be kind" again.

lebradford

Welcome. :-)

BlueJell0

Welcome - and sorry you find yourself here. As others have said you will find lots of support here and learn so much. And I'm sorry that med student upset you That was not what you needed. If you want to work on losing weight for yourself then great, it might help and certainly won't hurt. But I seriously doubt your weight is the reason you guys are having trouble! Don't beat yourself up, this is not your fault.

Good luck!