Am I being too emotional?

SummerB0607

My boyfriend has been divorced since mid 2010. He and his ex wife lived in this house for only a short time, so there was stuff that was never unpacked. Fast forward to now. That unpacked stuff is still unpacked and sitting in baby's room. Most of it is my boyfriend's....some of it is not. Okay, whatever, I'll just go in there and start throwing stuff away. I've only moved in a few weeks ago. So I went in today, seen a few things of the exes, wasn't too bothered by it, threw it away, although secretely still pissed that he didn't do this years ago and now I'm doing it. And then I ran into the sexual enhancement gel. And I lost it. As in crying. Because I had images of them having sex. Which I know they did, obviously, but running across "stuff" they used just puts it right in my face. Neither one of us were virgins when we met...but I still don't want to think of him with her. Am I being too emotional about this?

missnacholover

I'd be more pissed that you are the one having to deal with this than seeing the gel.

SummerB0607

He said I didn't have to. But he works six days a week and I was going to be helpful....yeah, not anymore.

NunyaBennis

You're allowed to be emotional. It's never fun to find evidence. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or rage when I switched "their" sex drawer over to "our" sex drawer a couple of months after I moved in, but ya take a deep breath and get over it. Just take solace knowing that it's you he cuddles up with at night, and it's you that he is building a life (and family!) with.

NLJ82

Your emotions are correct but in the wrong place lol. He needs to be taking care of his (& her) own crap...and doing it immediately.

absolutelymaybe

Yeah. What @missnacholover‌ said!

He should be cleaning up his old stuff.

missnacholover

SummerB0607 said:

He said I didn't have to. But he works six days a week and I was going to be helpful....yeah, not anymore.

Fuck that.  They've been divorced since 2010.  He hasn't had a single day when he could purge all her shit? 

SummerB0607

missnacholover said:

SummerB0607 said:

He said I didn't have to. But he works six days a week and I was going to be helpful....yeah, not anymore.

Fuck that.  They've been divorced since 2010.  He hasn't had a single day when he could purge all her shit? 



I'm sure he has. But for some reason he didn't. Which pisses me off. His excuse was he just never used that room and never went into it. I won't be offering to help again though. Not while her stuff is still here

shan24

Definitely normal.  My sister went through the same thing, except she found the ex's vibrators.  My sister lost. her. mind.  Told her bf that he had one week to get rid of her things or all hell would break loose.  

krgriffin26

I moved in with my DH a few years ago. he had a fiancé when he bought the house 10 years ago. They split up maybe 8 years ago (which was 4 years prior to us even dating). Anyways when I moved in I was cleaning cabinets and found a ton of her stuff. TON! It bothered me that he had been lazy for four years but I was able to move past it without too much of a fight. Just told him how dumb it was that he hasn't done it yet.

We are married now though and I won we are super happy and made this baby together so nothing else in the past before him really matters.

ssstephanie214

Ew. I slightly disagree with some others, you're gonna throw it out before he does because guys can't do anything. I would just throw it all out. What is he gonna do? He won't miss it, because it's been in boxes for years. He won't break up with you, you're having his baby. 

Maybe give him a warning first, but if he doesn't do anything about it I'd seriously start tossing. I'm feeling pregnant rage for you. 

maebee87

After finding that I would just throw out all the boxes, I mean nothing important can be in there if they have been sitting there for four years. If you don't want to do that, then he needs to sort that stuff out, not you. Hugs!

Ineedmorecoffee

Ugh that would make me sick too. I would be pissed that it has been 4 years and he hasn't thrown her shit away.

SummerB0607

He actually went in there and started throwing things away as soon as he got home from work. AND brought home a pizza. Sucking up much?

hiketheworld

ssstephanie214 said:

Ew. I slightly disagree with some others, you're gonna throw it out before he does because guys can't do anything. I would just throw it all out. What is he gonna do? He won't miss it, because it's been in boxes for years. He won't break up with you, you're having his baby. 

Maybe give him a warning first, but if he doesn't do anything about it I'd seriously start tossing. I'm feeling pregnant rage for you. 

I'd do this. Tell him if it isn't out of the house in two weeks you are throwing out everything without going through the boxes. Problem solved