A month ago we went to a cloth diapering class. DH was the only man there which seems to be a trend. He is usually the only man in the prenatal appointment waiting room, at birth classes, etc. The teacher at the CD class showed a few "daddy friendly" options which basically just means easier (dumbed down) and my husband explained how offensive that is. Mothering, baby related stuff, and celebrations of pregnancy are not women's things. Men need to get their heads out of their asses. My husband enjoys beer, sports, and a good barbecue too but he isn't a neanderthal and can enjoy a traditional shower as well without his masculinity feeling threatened.
If the father of your child has friends who want to celebrate with him, you should have a little self hosted barbecue. Explain that gifts aren't expected, it is just a little something before the weather gets too cold and you'd like to celebrate with friends. The baby shouldn't really be mentioned as the purpose, but you could decorate a cake or something. A shower, where gifts are given, should never be held by the guest of honor for reasons that I would think would be obvious. If someone else throws you a shower, put the guys who you believe would want to be invited on the list. As long as it fits the number of people your host can accommodate of course.
@bliss+berry - we all have different past experiences with showers I guess. DH has always attended showers in his family and I've never been to a ladies only shower. The thought of it seems pretty strange to me and offensive. If this is the norm for you though it wouldn't feel that way.
I never meant to imply your husband is less of a nurturing father if he isn't into typical women's only baby showers. I should have worded things different, and you're right for calling that out. But other posters above mentioned things about how men just aren't into showers and whatever, and it pisses me off. It's such a stereotype and I constantly feel sorry that my husband is basically made to feel like the "second best' in parenting because he doesn't have a uterus. I guess I was mostly coming from a defensive standpoint. Since getting pregnant, there have been more times than I can count that other people have said things to DH that belittle him as a father.
My main objection is that a shower has to include booze and barbecue in order for men to be happy attending. What a stereotype.
If I was unclear, my advice to OP is to not host anything herself aside from if she wants to have a barbecue with friends that has nothing to do with the baby. I wouldn't advertise it as a baby shower. If someone gets wind of it as a baby related party and asks, I would be clear that you don't want gifts.
This doesn't so much apply to you, I suppose, because they're your friends and not your hubby's....but on the day of my friend's baby shower last year, the Dad to Be and all the husbands/guy friends went to a bar and the men had a "Dadchelor Party". They drank beer, ate burgers, and my husband and some other friends brought him diapers. It was great.
This doesn't so much apply to you, I suppose, because they're your friends and not your hubby's....but on the day of my friend's baby shower last year, the Dad to Be and all the husbands/guy friends went to a bar and the men had a "Dadchelor Party". They drank beer, ate burgers, and my husband and some other friends brought him diapers. It was great.
It's all great except the part where the men are required to bring diapers.
I didn't say they were required. My husband and some friends did. No one was asked to.
This doesn't so much apply to you, I suppose, because they're your friends and not your hubby's....but on the day of my friend's baby shower last year, the Dad to Be and all the husbands/guy friends went to a bar and the men had a "Dadchelor Party". They drank beer, ate burgers, and my husband and some other friends brought him diapers. It was great.
It's all great except the part where the men are required to bring diapers.
I didn't say they were required. My husband and some friends did. No one was asked to.
Okay, well as long as that's clear.
Even still though - I can't imagine - as a man or a woman - walking into a BAR with a box of diapers. Or having to LEAVE with multiple boxes.
LOL. No pleasing some of you! I wrapped the boxes my husband brought. Dad to be certainly didn't mind free diapers.
This doesn't so much apply to you, I suppose, because they're your friends and not your hubby's....but on the day of my friend's baby shower last year, the Dad to Be and all the husbands/guy friends went to a bar and the men had a "Dadchelor Party". They drank beer, ate burgers, and my husband and some other friends brought him diapers. It was great.
It's all great except the part where the men are required to bring diapers.
I didn't say they were required. My husband and some friends did. No one was asked to.
Okay, well as long as that's clear.
Even still though - I can't imagine - as a man or a woman - walking into a BAR with a box of diapers. Or having to LEAVE with multiple boxes.
LOL. No pleasing some of you! I wrapped the boxes my husband brought. Dad to be certainly didn't mind free diapers.
I'm sure that's true. But I'm still picturing a bunch of guys in a bar eating burgers, drinking beer, and ... surrounded by diapers.
Oh!!! I forgot!!! This couple was using cloth diapers. That's why they were wrapped. So he just had some presents like it was any other event. But if you wrap a regular box of pampers, that's not too weird.
Re: Male friendly shower
I didn't say they were required. My husband and some friends did. No one was asked to.
LOL. No pleasing some of you! I wrapped the boxes my husband brought. Dad to be certainly didn't mind free diapers.
I'm sure that's true. But I'm still picturing a bunch of guys in a bar eating burgers, drinking beer, and ... surrounded by diapers.
Oh!!! I forgot!!! This couple was using cloth diapers. That's why they were wrapped. So he just had some presents like it was any other event. But if you wrap a regular box of pampers, that's not too weird.