Cant Decide

ivesjordana

I am currently engaged to the most amazing man ever. We are very private people and weren't planning on having a huge wedding. The original plan was to wait until 2015 but now that we've both are okay with getting married at city hall and having a family gathering in the backyard, I want to start trying to conceive our first child. I am 22 years old and so is he, I'm almost done school and plan on being a stay at home mom. He himself has a great job that can support us, we already have our own home. I can't seem to get him to understand why I want to have a child with him and start our lives. I just don't know if I'm too young and should give up on this or what. advice please

sandrabrooke

Now is not the right time.  Make the decision together.  please  

myatala

ivesjordana said:

I am currently engaged to the most amazing man ever. We are very private people and weren't planning on having a huge wedding. The original plan was to wait until 2015 but now that we've both are okay with getting married at city hall and having a family gathering in the backyard, I want to start trying to conceive our first child. I am 22 years old and so is he, I'm almost done school and plan on being a stay at home mom. He himself has a great job that can support us, we already have our own home. I can't seem to get him to understand why I want to have a child with him and start our lives. I just don't know if I'm too young and should give up on this or what. advice please

QFP

blessed2585

Waiting until you both are ready and on the same page is important. I know  the feeling of wanting to get started and being excited, but you do have time. 

MNgirl326

Get married, finish school,  get settled, and get a job (even if you want to stay home- get a job- things can change).

Get some money in savings and when you are BOTH ready to start TTC, then and only then consider moving forward with it.

CallMeShoes

I guess I just don't understand what the rush is.

You're 22 years old.  You're not even done with school yet.  You're VERY young...and I say that as someone who got engaged at 22 and married at 24.

Why don't you get a job, continue to grow your relationship, and get some hobbies.  Enjoy life as it is without constantly wanting the "next step."

Also, I don't know you, and I could be entirely wrong about this, but I don't know any 22 year olds that can single-handedly support themselves, a spouse, a home, and a baby on one salary.  The job market simply isn't strong enough.  Even if your FI makes a decent amount of money, babies are EXPENSIVE.  According to CNN Money estimates, it costs an average of $12,500 to raise a baby, just the first year.  And that's assuming you have a healthy baby!  Do you REALLY have that kind of extra money laying around at 22?  If you do, and I'm off-base, then I'm off-base, but the cost of having a baby is more than most people realize.

My advice is to slow down, enjoy your relationship, and save money.

sandrabrooke

I'm that 22 year old... But yeh...def not the norm!

CallMeShoes

sandrabrooke said:

I'm that 22 year old... But yeh...def not the norm!

Welcome to the 1%! 
:P

vivalalacea

If he is not ready to have a baby, then it is not time for you to have a baby yet.  I got married at 22, but it was not at all the time for us to bring a child into the world.  At the time, I was just finishing college, barely had my foot in the door career-wise, and honestly just wanted to spend some time chilling with my new husband.  It doesn't matter, though, if your husband can support a whole troop of kids.  If he isn't ready for the emotional implications and the responsibility that comes with caring for a human being, then you shouldn't make him.  

sandrabrooke

So agree with the travel thing.  Travel is so much fun.  Sleeping in late, wandering the city, laughing together. Those are the memories that build a better relationship!