Babies on the Brain

Cant Decide

I am currently engaged to the most amazing man ever. We are very private people and weren't planning on having a huge wedding. The original plan was to wait until 2015 but now that we've both are okay with getting married at city hall and having a family gathering in the backyard, I want to start trying to conceive our first child. I am 22 years old and so is he, I'm almost done school and plan on being a stay at home mom. He himself has a great job that can support us, we already have our own home. I can't seem to get him to understand why I want to have a child with him and start our lives. I just don't know if I'm too young and should give up on this or what. advice please

Re: Cant Decide

  • Now is not the right time.  Make the decision together.  please :) 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am currently engaged to the most amazing man ever. We are very private people and weren't planning on having a huge wedding. The original plan was to wait until 2015 but now that we've both are okay with getting married at city hall and having a family gathering in the backyard, I want to start trying to conceive our first child. I am 22 years old and so is he, I'm almost done school and plan on being a stay at home mom. He himself has a great job that can support us, we already have our own home. I can't seem to get him to understand why I want to have a child with him and start our lives. I just don't know if I'm too young and should give up on this or what. advice please
    QFP
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  • Waiting until you both are ready and on the same page is important. I know  the feeling of wanting to get started and being excited, but you do have time. 
  • MNgirl326MNgirl326 member
    edited June 2014

    Get married, finish school,  get settled, and get a job (even if you want to stay home- get a job- things can change).

    Get some money in savings and when you are BOTH ready to start TTC, then and only then consider moving forward with it.

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    A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014

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  • I guess I just don't understand what the rush is.

    You're 22 years old.  You're not even done with school yet.  You're VERY young...and I say that as someone who got engaged at 22 and married at 24.

    Why don't you get a job, continue to grow your relationship, and get some hobbies.  Enjoy life as it is without constantly wanting the "next step."

    Also, I don't know you, and I could be entirely wrong about this, but I don't know any 22 year olds that can single-handedly support themselves, a spouse, a home, and a baby on one salary.  The job market simply isn't strong enough.  Even if your FI makes a decent amount of money, babies are EXPENSIVE.  According to CNN Money estimates, it costs an average of $12,500 to raise a baby, just the first year.  And that's assuming you have a healthy baby!  Do you REALLY have that kind of extra money laying around at 22?  If you do, and I'm off-base, then I'm off-base, but the cost of having a baby is more than most people realize.

    My advice is to slow down, enjoy your relationship, and save money.


    Love. 9.28.2007.  Marriage.  8.4.2012.
  • I'm that 22 year old... But yeh...def not the norm!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I'm that 22 year old... But yeh...def not the norm!
    Welcome to the 1%! 
    :P
    Love. 9.28.2007.  Marriage.  8.4.2012.
  • If he is not ready to have a baby, then it is not time for you to have a baby yet.  I got married at 22, but it was not at all the time for us to bring a child into the world.  At the time, I was just finishing college, barely had my foot in the door career-wise, and honestly just wanted to spend some time chilling with my new husband.  It doesn't matter, though, if your husband can support a whole troop of kids.  If he isn't ready for the emotional implications and the responsibility that comes with caring for a human being, then you shouldn't make him.  
  • So agree with the travel thing.  Travel is so much fun.  Sleeping in late, wandering the city, laughing together. Those are the memories that build a better relationship!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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