Feeling Sad

stacyb782

Hi all.  I've been a long time lurker, not really sure what to say, but I just am so sad about losing my baby.  I had a MC at 10 weeks in March, and I have good days and not so good days.  A few weeks ago I actually had to walk out of a restuarant because of the teeny tiny baby that a couple had.  My husband and I are TTC again and I have mixed feelings about it.  I don't ever think that I will replace the baby that I lost, but I just want a baby so bad.  Thanks for listening to me vent.  It has been so helpful to read so many of your stories and I am so thankful to all of you for sharing. 

sunflwra

I hate that anyone has to be here but welcome and I hope we can help. TTCAL is always stressful and can cause a lot of guilt but you will never replace your LO and there is nothing wrong with taking steps to move forward and fulfill your goal of having a baby. I'm so sorry for your loss- big hugs to you and feel free to vent here as you go through this.

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***



It's always nice to see lurkers post, so thanks for posting and joining us. I'm so sorry for your loss. Like pp said, TTCAL is really hard and can bring on all sorts of random emotions that you never expected. I wish you the best, and know that we're here for you. *hugs*

BrittianyM

I am so sorry for you loss. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

shandorfml2

So sorry for your loss. You are welcome to stay on this board, but thus board is focused on late term loss, still birth and infant/child loss. You might find others who can relate more to your situation on the misscarriage board

BoraBoraBaby

Possible ticker warning (think it's removed but not sure)

OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a baby at any point can be paralyzing. It's unfair and I'm so sorry you had to go through this.

I just want to say that it does get better. I'm trying to relearn how to embrace the sadness and to use it as a perfect opportunity to talk to my baby girl, and also to talk to her during the happy times as well.

I can totally relate to your mixed feelings on TTC. For me, I sometimes feel like I'm dishonoring my baby by hoping for a healthy baby. Sometimes I feel like I might have happiness again if I'm pregnant. I just want to raise a child with all of this love I have building inside of me. DH feels the same. We just want a chance.

I try to remind myself that my baby girl was given a very unfair circumstance, and that if I were to have a conversation with the adult version of her, she'd hug me and tell me that I did everything right, and that it's okay to try again, that she'd want happiness for her parents.

I don't know if that helps you, I hope it does. I just want to hug you and tell you that you're not alone, and that our babies will never be forgotten, but that you have every right to try again. It doesn't make you love your first baby any less. If anything, it's because of your loss that you have a right to want another baby even more.

lexusolsen

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard ttcal is. I hope you take the time you need to heal and wish you the best of luck.