Characteristics of the ideal nanny: go

Boston*bride

I have four weeks left to find and hire a nanny before I go back to work. We started this process back in my third trimester and I have found it to be completely overwhelming...for one, it's incredibly time consuming; for another, I find myself constantly second guessing my judgement. I met with one girl I really liked, and when I called her reference, while the conversation started off pleasant, after a few prodding questions on my part the reference basically admitted she was unreliable-- which has made me really doubtful about my ability to be a good judge of character. It's a lot of pressure, picking a person who will spend more time with our son than either my husband or I will, at least right now.

Anyway, I think part of our problem is it turns out my husband and I had been envisioning two very different things when it comes to the ideal nanny candidate-- on opposite ends of the spectrum. 

I had been thinking about someone who felt grandmotherly; a woman in her 50s or 60s who had raised kids of her own and could both look after the baby and help with light housekeeping. My husband was picturing a younger more energetic girl in her 20s or early 30s who could both look after LO as an infant but then keep up with him on the playground in a few years.

So...what qualities would you be looking for in a nanny? What would be most important? What questions would you ask in an interview to try to elicit some of these things and help you assess those qualities? What additional responsibilities would you want them to have, if any? I'm very interested to hear what others would value in a nanny.

babym6705

If I was choosing a nanny, I'd probably focus more on personality during an interview instead of age. Age is just a number and isn't an indicator of the nanny's work ethic or abilities.

I would also have my child at the interview and observe the nanny's interaction with my child. The nanny's interactions and reactions to your child will speak louder than any interview style question you ask.

Also, I would not ask my nanny for light housekeeping. I know many people do, but I would want my nanny's focus completely on my kids. The only cleaning I would expect is maybe sticking their dirty dishes in the dishwasher and picking their toys up before leaving for the day. I think if your nanny is doing much more than that then she is also a housekeeper/household manager and should be paid accordingly. Again, it really depends on what you and your husbands wants and needs are.

katy4128

I won't be needing a nanny as I am a SAHM but if I did this is what I would want. Being a nanny for 6 years, I think my list is reasonable. Ha!

Qualities: Kind, Loving, Patient, Reliable and Assertive

Most importantly I would need someone that I can count on. Like you said, they will be spending lots of time with your LO so you need someone who can be there consistantly. Your LO will depend on them to be there. I would want someone who is energetic and can handle a full day of playground chasing! I would want someone who can be there for LO all the way until kindergarden.

One important interview question I would ask would be to have them describe a typical day as a nanny. If they can't tell you a daily routine that sounds fun..hello red flag.

I don't think I would want them to have any other responsibilties besides taking care of the baby. I think all their time should be with baby or doing things for baby. (Baby laundry, picking up baby's things around the house etc.)

Good Luck on your search!!

belindahampton

I've actually hired a nanny who has been working for the past 3 weeks with us. When we were searching for someone and what we found in her are similar characteristics you would find in a kindergarten teacher.

As pp said kind, patient and assertive. Someone who understands the importance and the impact of their role in LO's life.

Ask: what do you think the role of a nanny entails?

Write down your answers and compare them to your applicants answers.

*sparky*

I went through care.com for our nanny and I agree it can be very time consuming. Here is what I was looking for and finally ended up with:

Actual paid nanny experience and a track record of staying with families for at least a couple of years

Someone a little older - at least 30. Does not have to have their own children although that would be preferable. I wanted someone who had experience being a mom, and was motherly, although it was not absolutely necessary.

An energetic personality and also sweet. Someone who is not easily frazzled and can go with the flow a little without getting stressed out. In other words, someone who won't have a meltdown over a crying baby.

Reliability is definitely critical, as is a reasonably nice/safe car, as I need her to pick DS up from camp or school. Good driving record.

Willing to do light cleaning - baby's laundry, unload the D/W, etc.

Experience with infants and older children.

I work PT so I also need someone who was willing to work the days I needed and who was ok with PT only.

I found someone in her 50's who has raised two boys of her own and has nannied for a few families from infancy until the kids went to school. She is very reliable, was really sweet with my DS when she interviewed, and has raised two reasonably well adjusted teenage boys. She has nannied for premies, children with special needs, and children that were just very needy. I feel like she can handle whatever our family may have to deal with.

We had someone similar for my DS (who is now 8) and she was perfect. I never questioned whether she was responsible enough for me to trust her with my baby but she still had the energy to chase DS around once he hit toddlerhood.

All I can say is your gut instinct will tell you when you have found the right person. You may have to talk to 10 before you find the right one. I did phone screens to save some time and so I didn't have too many random people coming to my house. Definitely do a background check on anyone you are seriously considering and I recommend doing a trial run where they come for just a few hours one day so you can see how they really work out.

MamaFantastic

The question about additional responsibilities is really up to each individual family. Many families hire a nanny to be more like an overall housekeeper plus a childcare provider, while others mostly value the childcare portion of the relationship. There's no right or wrong answer when it comes to overall duties, it's just really what you need and what you're expecting from your own nanny.

As far as the specific qualities I would look for if I was hiring a nanny (and this is coming from someone who was a full-time live out naany for a family in New York City) :

Definitely younger. I was 21-23 when I nannied. I had tons of energy, and I think I felt more relatable to the kids, who were ages two and four at the time.

Honest. I know that's really hard to measure after an interview, but I would heavily rely on references and conversations with people who know the individual. Not that this comes as a shock to you, but having someone who has the key to your home, has complete access to your children and all of your belongings, and is possibly driving your car is a HUGE deal.

mrscrcalli

Thanks for posting this.. We are going through this right now and I'm completely overwhelmed... I too like someone then something comes back wonky and makes me second guess myself.

Also what os the common rate of pay for full time?

PPs have been helpful!

Sisimama10

I want to be a nanny and not go back to my job. Call me y'all.

mrscrcalli

Sisimama10 said:

I want to be a nanny and not go back to my job. Call me y'all.

Is hire you yesterday.. Get to oregon!

MamaFantastic

The salary tooootally depends on the family and the location and the limits of the duties. In 2004 I was paid $13-15/hr net. It amounted to about 40k a year, all told. I worked between 40 and 45 hours a week and only ever did the kids' laundry and meal prep... no other house duties.

*sparky*

@mrscrcalli‌ - rates vary a lot by area. You can go on care.com and browse through the nannies to get an idea of rates. Most post their rates in their profiles.

We are paying $15/hr for one child and $16/hr when she has both. That is for part time.

BiggerinRealLife

One question I've asked/been asked in interviews was "Tell me about a time you or someone you know felt like you were treated unfairly in a professional situation. How did you/they handle it?" Granted, I've never interviewed a nanny, but I feel like this question sheds a lot of light on a person's character, level of maturity, and how they handle conflict. Other questions along the same lines are "tell me about a time you received criticism. How did you respond?" and "what was something you really loved about a previous job?" Since this person will be caring for your kids and working closely with you, you want to ask questions that for you an idea of how they handle work relationships and what ther character is like. You also have to like them, so getting a good feeling is a good thing. Maybe the girl you liked isn't reliable - that doesn't mean he wasn't a good person, so don't second guess yourself too much. You can always ask the classics: how much time would you say you had to call out in your last job?" and "the last three times you called off, what were the reasons?" If they can remember and give specifics, not an awesome sign of reliability unless it was so long ago that you can tell they don't take much time off.