Parents calling me fat!

missenn

Ok so a few weeks ago my mother grabs my arm and says - I can tell someone's pregnant- like pinching my fat.

Then today my dad slaps my butt and says "look at your fat behind" - and by way of apology, he says - "I'm sorry - your mom had one too!"

Like seriously? Like I don't feel like a whale already - I have gained 30 pounds three months into this and feel huge.  

What would you all do?  I am so angry I really don't feel like seeing wither of them in the near future…

Am I over - reacting?

Emerald27

You're definitely not overreacting! That's so hurtful and would make me really angry too.

Some women gain much more than average during pregnancy and still have healthy and uneventful pregnancies, and lose the baby weight within a normal time frame. Everyone is different, and it's completely unfair for your parents to say you're anything but beautiful while growing their grandchild.

If it were me, I would also not want anything to do with them. BUT my plan might be to say, if they bring it up again, that the doctor is pleased with my weight gain, but I would prefer that they not comment on it, because those comments are hurtful.

((Hugs)) >:D<

cmcookaln

I can't believe they said that.  I have had the opposite problem with not gaining weight and my parents have commented on that, but this is so much worse.  I would definitely say something to them about it because you are only going to gain more.  Like the PP said, I would mention that the doctor has no problem with it or hasn't indicated any serious concerns so get over it.  Every woman gains weight and carries it differently, and your parents just need to accept that.

AmandaJean12

I don't understand why people think these comments are ok just because someone is pregnant. Totally not over reacting. I would have been upset too!

You're growing a human. Only your doctor gets to comment on how your body does that. If he/she isn't concerned no one else should be either!

kikimeemee

You're not over-reacting! Your parents have crossed your personal boundaries which is why it feels oddly to you. I've told people casually that it makes me a bit uncomfortable when they comment on my figure (even positively) and that's cut down on some comments. I'm so sorry, dear!

aander6

You are not over-reacting! That is terrible that they said that. I would definitely stand up for yourself and tell them comments like that are not okay! 

megaddie

my mil, who I like a lot, keeps telling me that I don't look pregnant at all. I think maybe she means it as a compliment, but after 2 miscarriages, I get put out every time I hear it.  Today it was "You look sort of pregnant today!"

megaddie

People just say weird stuff when you are pregnant, don't they?

Saragoeswest

I'm sorry. Those comments sound hurtful. I would reply immediately that they're hurting your feelings.

BeckyH05

I definitely don't think you are over reacting. I don't understand why people (especially family) think its ok to make comments like these. DH and I were just having this conversation b/c his step father has made comments like these and they really annoy me as well. I just tell him my doctor is fine with it and walk away from him. Just know that you are growing a beautiful baby and try to ignore the insensitive comments.

Sockgnome78

So not cool. Sorry you are having to deal with this. I would be passive - aggressive until one day I snap. Then they would get all butt hurt about it.
So I would say if they don't like it look at something else. You are growing their grand - child and the only ones that need you worry about the weight is you and the doctor.

MorganWP

Definitely not overreacting. My SO's mom recently told me that I have to start exercising or else I'll get a big bum and that her MIL told her the same thing when she was pregnant too. And that makes it okay to say to someone else? Great, thanks.

However, if it makes you feel better my mom gained 80lbs when she was pregnant with me. 30 is nothing!

miriamm08

Definitely not over reacting. I don't understand why people think it's ok to say things like this just because someone's pregnant. If you wouldn't say it when someone's not pregnant, definitely do not say it when they are. Recently my bump has really popped out, and people have started making comments like "wow! Your really pregnant aren't you!?" and "your baby is gonna be huge!" Gee, thank you so much for pointing these things out to me -_-

megaroo64

You are not over-reacting at all.  People seriously say the rudest things to pregnant people sometime - it is almost like pregnancy brain is contagious.  A lady at work told me my face looked pregnant - and then clarified to say "Your face just looks really full."  And she said the whole thing like it was a major compliment - like people LOVE hearing that they have a fat face.  

As hard as it is, ignore it.  Everyone's body goes crazy while pregnant - just roll with it.  The only person who you should listen to if they say something about your weight is your doctor - everyone else can kick rocks. 

Hugs! 

bumpuser10309732

When someone feels the need to comment on my weight I also comment on their weight, but I'm kind of that type of person. If someone makes me uncomfortable, I'm going to make them uncomfortable too! It's not ok to comment on people's weight, ever. For some reason people think that it's on when they see a pregnant woman or someone who is thin. I can't tell you how many times I've been told I need to eat something, pre-pregnancy. So tell your dad slapping your ass is awkward and tell them both to not comment on your weight because it makes you uncomfortable! More than likely they find it funny. 

MrMrsandBaby

Well, first, if my dad slapped my ass I would turn around and slap his face (not likely to happen but holy inappropriate).  And my mom is good at saying stuff like, "looks like someone needs to go on a diet" because the baby bump is more noticeable that day.  She thinks it is funny, I generally ignore it.

It isn't right, but my theory is that apparently people think that being pregnant is EVERYONE'S business not just the parent's.  I had to pick my battles and it was more important to me that they not touch my bump than to fight the weight comments.  If this is a battle you are willing to take on, then don't let anyone slide with these stupid comments.  Tell them right away and keep telling them until they get it.

MrsL2B

I'm sorry they're being rude. I say we all start calling people out on crap like this. You don't have to be rude back, but saying something like, "comments like that make me feel bad about my pregnancy," get the point across effectively.