:-(

future mrs dash

Im having a crappy day today. My pelvic girdle pain is so bad its had me in tears twice. Our loft extension is goin really well n my dad n husband r doin it at weekends. But today my husband decided to sign up for a super sprint triathalon 1.5hrs from our house at 3pm but had to b there to register at 130pm so had to leave by 12, well 12 came n they werent near where they needed to b to b able to leave the house so husband after a lot of back and forth about goin/not goin in the end decided not to. The only opinion i gave was up to u, u need to make this choice but we have 18weeks until due date, Its up to u. Now they have packed up for the day and hes in a mega stroop with me n its making me sad. :-( stupid men!

Sockgnome78

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day.
I would see if YH wants to go do something for baby. If you are up to it.
Maybe some paint or buy an outfit.

future mrs dash

The extension is for the baby nursery n our master room with ensuite so cnt do anything really until its finished re painting. He just said its a realisation its not just me now n is sulking because of it. Well bugger me ive done morning sickness, night wees, n now in loads of pain so giving up 1 very small local "practice" tri

future mrs dash

Sorry pity party for 1 xx

Emerald27

Aww. I'm sorry you're having a bad day.

My hips are KILLING me today and it makes me worry for the months to come. Seriously, how can I already be this sore?!

I'm sure DH is disappointed but glad to be getting the necessary work done to prep for baby. Hope his gloomy mood passes soon so that he can help YOU feel better too!

vrj0522

theresat858 said:

future mrs dash said:

Sorry pity party for 1 xx

I don't mind pity parties if I could interpret half of what was said.  Too many missing vowels makes my eyes hurt.

I actually had a hard time reading the post too OP. 

With that said, I also have PGP and understand how painful that can be so I'm sorry that you are not feeling well. While you did say the words, "it's up to you" to your husband, you also did say, "we only have 18 weeks" which if I was told that, I would easily interpret as I don't want you to go but I'm not going to stop you. Maybe your husband is upset because what he was looking for from you was encouragement to go to his race. I understand that you might not care much (or at all) for his race, but if he signed up, and if he is into that type of thing, I can only guess that he really wanted to do it. 

While I agree that 18 weeks is not a lot of time to go, and I have no clue how much work is left, I really have a hard time believing that your husband wouldn't work extra hard/long toward the end if he saw that they were falling behind with the extension. At least that's the impression I get simply because of the fact that he decided to stay although he wanted to go to his race. Maybe in this instance apologizing and trying to do something nice for him could make things better. I know that you might not be in the wrong necessarily, but he did stay to please you, although he wanted to go. 

future mrs dash

Sorry im dyslexic and upset so was typing fast.
Im still pretty upset at the mo, i got take out and once hubby finished he went to our friends to watch football so im now home alone.
Thank you for the nice comments.
Yes i did say we have only 18 weeks because we do! And its a weekend project job which my dads giving up his paid work time for (hes a builder who normally works sat as well as mon-fri) and the project is to create 3 new rooms in our roof, including putting 3 lumps of steel in, new joists, new roif supports and taking out old ones, putting in 4windows, stairs.... The list goes on and then decorating in 18weeks (ie 36days if every sat n sun and the babys not early) We werent able to start sooner due to berevements at the start of the year n getting planning permission.
I do care about his hobby and im really happy he has one but its taking over and he just had a reality check today. I was goin to support him despite the amount of pain im in.

vrj0522

future mrs dash said:

Sorry im dyslexic and upset so was typing fast. Im still pretty upset at the mo, i got take out and once hubby finished he went to our friends to watch football so im now home alone. Thank you for the nice comments. Yes i did say we have only 18 weeks because we do! And its a weekend project job which my dads giving up his paid work time for (hes a builder who normally works sat as well as mon-fri) and the project is to create 3 new rooms in our roof, including putting 3 lumps of steel in, new joists, new roif supports and taking out old ones, putting in 4windows, stairs.... The list goes on and then decorating in 18weeks (ie 36days if every sat n sun and the babys not early) We werent able to start sooner due to berevements at the start of the year n getting planning permission. I do care about his hobby and im really happy he has one but its taking over and he just had a reality check today. I was goin to support him despite the amount of pain im in.

He worked all day and missed his race, and you are still upset? I know that if I was in your shoes, I would probably understand where you are coming from a little bit better but you also have to try to see it from his point of view... I know you were trying to do something nice by getting takeout but you even said, his hobby is taking over and today he got a reality check, which makes me think you don't even empathize with what he had to give up today. Sounds like there is a ton of work to be done before your baby comes and today he understood that and missed his race... so why are you the one who is upset, when it is him who missed it? 

Maybe I'm going a little overboard defending him, but I can tell you from my own experience, that it is extremely upsetting to me when I miss a race that I was looking forward to.

crystal8503

jalara48 said:

theresat858 said:

jalara48 said:

theresat858 said:

future mrs dash said:

Sorry pity party for 1 xx

I don't mind pity parties if I could interpret half of what was said.  Too many missing vowels makes my eyes hurt.

Wow.


ETA: you know, there was a time when you needed extra support from this board and it was given, without question and without judgement.

She's having a hard day. Do you really have to add insult to it? What does that give you? Really?

ETA2: One day, whenever it may be, we'll offer you support again, without judgement, because you are one of us and because we care. Compassion will take all of us so much farther in life than condemnation.

I'm just pointing out that she might receive more HELPFUL comments if one could interpret what the heck she was even talking about in the original post.  It is really hard to be supportive when I cannot tell what is being said...and it has been pretty well-established in Bump culture for a long time that proper grammar and spelling is appreciated.



~~~
With the clarification now in place...
@OP, it sounds like you are stressing out about the men finishing the work on your house before the baby is born.  You do not think 18 weeks is enough time, and you expect them to work non-stop every weekend until it is finished.... that being said, you were upset that your husband was thinking about taking part of a day off to go run in a race. 

The fact is that both of you have only 18 more weeks of weekends that belong to just the two of you, as well.  It might be much harder for him to go run a race when you don't want to be left alone with the baby for hours on the weekend after being alone with the baby all week (assuming you are taking some mat leave or staying at home).  It isn't necessarily fair of you to ask him to give up the next 18 weeks to spend doing hard labor building the addition and not do anything fun in that time. 

If it is not possible to finish the addition in 18 weeks, then it is not possible.  OR maybe you should consider hiring extra help if it is really important to you to get it done in that time frame and you do not think your DH and father can manage it while staying sane themselves and allowing them reasonable breaks. 

The baby will not know or care if the addition is finished prior to the baby being born.  The baby will not know or care if the nursery is decorated or just an idea book in your head.  The AAP recommends that infants room-share with mom and dad for the first 6 months, and many moms just find having a baby next to their bed convenient anyway.  The point being - you can complete the nursery after the baby is born.  It's okay if it happens that way. It really is.

You mean her dyslexia didn't actually make your eyes hurt? You were really just thinking of her and how much more help and support she would receive? Funny how other board members were able to offer support without making such remarks.

But that was a good try. Especially with the full on offer of support afterwards. Good show.

ETA: spelling

I recall a hissy fit on your part when you were last called out in a thread, funny how it works when you're the one doing it. Her post was hard to follow and I think the further clarification @theresat858 is referring to is the OPs follow up comments, not her dyslexia. Good show on your part, Jalara.

BreandMikewedding

I completely understand why you are frustrated! You only have 18 weeks to get this project done and it's taking longer than expected, your father is missing out on income every day he helps and then your h wants to go do his hobby instead of the work he needs to do at home. I think maybe he is realizing that he has other responsibilities now and he's frustrated with that. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

aander6

I get that you are upset but come on. You said this was only a training race so I am guessing he is training for an olympic distance or a half. Either way, as other posters have said he stayed home and did the work and missed something that was very important to him to do something that is very important to you. I do not understand how you could be so upset with him. Also, saying he got a reality check? What exactly does this mean?

I am just going to leave you with this be careful trying to keep him from what is important to him or he may start to resent you.