Baby Showers

Gender Reveal Shower & Etiquette of The Mom To Be

Hi everyone. My friend whom I have been friends with for over 10 years told me she was pregnant. I was excited for her of course! :) She told me however that she wasn't going to tell anyone besides her family and her hubby what the sex of the baby was until they day of her baby shower reveal when she cut the cake open. I told her I could respect that. So, at the shower I see our other friends from our group, we have all been friends since high school with the Mom to be. I was chatting with them and found out out of the circle of our friends (4 of us including the Mom to be) that she had told my other 2 friends the sex of the baby and not me. I felt so alienated and excluded at that moment...I felt if she said she wasn't going to tell anyone except family that she SHOULD have stuck to I feel awkward, and frankly offended. Part of me thinks I shouldn't care about a person that pulled that on me. Another thing is that I went up to the Mom to be after the reveal and said, " A girl, you must be so excited!" Her reply as she actually smirked at me was: "I got exactly what I wanted." Then she turned off on her heel and walked away. I guess the conversation was over? I thought a more normal response would have been: "Thank you, I'm very excited to be having a girl. I wished for a girl, but would have loved the baby no matter what the sex." So, I am new to these gender reveal showers, but are Moms to be supposed to make rules about revealing the sex to no one, then break them? If so what is he whole point of the reveal other than to get attention? Sorry in advance if I sound bitter, but the whole experience has soured the view of my Mom to be friend.

Re: Gender Reveal Shower & Etiquette of The Mom To Be

  • VORVOR member

      ** STuck in the box **

    As far as "rules" go about revealing the baby's sex... there are none.  She can tell or not tell whoever she wants.  Her kid, her choice.  Is it weird to tell some people but not others?  Sure.  And I can see why it's hurtful.  But I really can't say she's breaking any strong and fast etiquette rules on this. 

    That being said, from your description on what happened - I'd say that she's upset at you about something.  It appears she purposely didn't tell you and then was rude to you at her shower.  I think it's time to do some real evaluation here and try to figure out how long this has really been going on and WHAT is wrong.  Then, perhaps reach out to her and talk about it.  Or even ask her what you've done to upset her if you're really in the dark. 

  • Thanks, it helps to get some other perspectives on the matter. I thought I could be over-reacting, but it really appears to be a snub on her part. This friend of mine is always all about I will just take it as another case of that happening.
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  • I think you nailed it!
  • i wonder if she acted that way because you found out and she got caught?


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