the struggle

jlovesky

Just days after my D&C we were asked if I wanted to go back on birth control. I solidly said "no."

Then the grief sank in a bit more and I thought, maybe I do need some time. So I scheduled an appt to get on the pill. I arrived only to find that my doctor had JUST been called away to an emergency so I would have to reschedule.

Over that weekend I did some thinking and decided I'd be ready to do this again, lets just cancel the appointment.

Lately, I have MAJOR baby fever. Then there are days that I think about our loss & I am fine waiting.

In the end, I am NOT going back on the pill, just letting things go as they are supposed to. But constantly going up & down about it. Anyone else doing this?

brendisimma

I'm definitely trying again, fear and all.. I learned the life lesson from a dear friend of mine who suffered an early miscarriage for her first pregnancy and it was so painful they never tried again..fast forward five years later she's no longer of age and has deep regrets. I'll take a leap of faith for a lifetime of joy. hope to see your updates..I just started to bleed today..

KingLED

I'm two-three months out since my miscarriage and it's still an emotional roller coaster when we think about when/if we're going to TTC again.

I think it's terrifying no matter what. For me at least, waiting a year or waiting a month, it was all the same. I was just as terrified/emotional/confused/whatever when I got pregnant again. Being emotionally healed enough to recognize a new pregnancy as a separate pregnancy with separate risks is a must, but waiting until you're no longer scared seems a little overboard. 

It's not an easy position to be in, and talking it out with someone or many people can make it a lot easier. Good luck.

**Hopefully this makes sense. It's late and I've been drinking. I'm hoping this comes across like I'm intending.**

mrsjg2013

For the first time since I've been in the position to TTCAL, I find myself asking, "How many more times can I do this?"  I'm not sure how many losses you've had, but this is my third in a row within a year with no previous children.  I can't imagine my life without children, but I'm not sure how many more babies I can handle losing in the process.  With that said, we are definitely going to try again once the doctor approves.  I've been praying a lot lately about "when" the time will be right for us, and my DH and I have decided to start the process of getting licensed to be foster parents.  The choice to continue trying or not is a very personal one... take some time to grieve your loss and then you'll have a better idea as to when feels right for you. 

Lalalady54

I am also petrified and one day am ready to just keep moving forward and the next day want more time to grieve. I feel for me, the sooner I begin trying again the easier it will be for me (I don't know that easier is the right word ever to describe the grieving process but I guess I am hopeful), but I know everyone is different and emotional healing is different for each of us.

(That being said this is my first loss, I know my emotional state would be greatly different if it was my second, third or tenth and I would want/need more time- my DH and I actually discussed this at length the other day through my tears and a lot of fear)

greenwl

I also have been riding a wave of emotions.  I'll be trying right away to get pregnant, but we didn't have to have a D&C so my physician did not think there was any reason to wait at this time.  I just try to take this one day at a time and I validate every emotion I have.

tpete12

I miscarried at 22 weeks just a few days ago, and as scary as it is, we want to start trying as soon as the doc gives us the go ahead.

CreechMommy

It's really a personal choice - there is no right or wrong.  I know some Drs recommend waiting a few cycles to wait for hormones to regulate, your body to be physically ready, etc.  

Personally, my DH and I are waiting at least until our next checkup because I had a cyst that was discovered with u/s.  We are going back in a few days to see if it was a cyst that was caused by pregnancy or if it is still there which would require surgery.  Once I get the medical clearance - we are going to TTC. 

I was going to go back on b/c - had the prescription and all - but we decided not to do it in the end. 

Do whatever feels right to you and feel free to change your mind and don't feel guilty if you change your mind.  I kept the prescription in case I decide to get it filled, but I have a feeling I won't.  

Good luck to you!