Just joined! Sharing our story - At Home AI

lozzy1985 · June 2014

Hello Everyone!

I’ve just joined and it’s really cool to have found this forum and to read all the stories from the LGBT families out there. My partner and I are the only lesbians we know here in Edmonton, and the only ones we know anywhere who are trying for kids. If there are any other LGBT families in Edmonton, please get in touch – I’d love to hear from you J

I am 28 years old, my partner is 41 and I am currently 23 weeks preggo with our first child. Ultrasound says it’s a baby girl – yey!

Friends and acquaintances who have asked us “how?” have always been really fascinated by our story, so I thought I would share that here as my introduction. So here is my conception story:

We used a known sperm donor (who I found after much research using the internet – did you know there are sites where there are people putting up profiles and offering up their genetic material for nothing? Pretty cool. The site we used was called PrideAngel, for anyone who’s interested). Anyway – we used the “do it yourself” turkey baster method at home. My cycles were always fairly regular so we didn’t think we would need any medical information or help from anyone so we bypassed the doctor/clinic thing altogether and just sorted the whole process on our own. Can be somewhat risky I know, but I think it’s a lot easier than most people think. I thought I would share our experience here anyway, for anyone who’s interested in trying to conceive this way.

So we found our donor by contacting one of the members on PrideAngle and he got back to us almost immediately. We told him about ourselves and he said he would definitely consider donating for us. We made it clear from the start and so did he, that he would not be responsible or obligated in any way for the baby, and he also said he would consider donating again in future for full blood siblings. In addition he agreed to get an STD checkup and blood work done to rule out any problems and he was open about his family’s medical history. Actually, I should say that we did contact several different guys on that site before we found our chosen donor, and all of them responded, but for various reasons we didn’t go with them. One guy lived too far away and it was going to be too difficult to coordinate with him, another we decided against because he refused to get a more updated STD and blood work check done. All the guys seemed decent and nice though.

Anyway, we met up with our donor several times before actually starting anything, as it was important to all of us to feel comfortable and get to know each other. Our guy is really awesome and wouldn’t even take money for gas, let alone for the donation. With the legal stuff, I found some stuff online and revamped it myself, turning it into a 9 page detailed contract which we all read out, verbally agreed to, signed and initialed each and every clause, and videotaped the whole hour session it took us to read and sign through the whole thing. Each of us has an original copy of the contract and a copy of the video recording of the event. Once that was done we started trying.

The actual process was very straight forward. I had bought one of those oral syringes that they use to give babies oral medicine. Just a little 25ml syringe for $1.50, and after a couple of weeks I also ordered a speculum which cost about $8. The speculum, although not completely necessary, was very helpful as it allowed my partner to see exactly what was going on and where to aim the syringe. It also allowed her to be able to see and tell accurately when I was most fertile, due to the look of the cervix. Pretty neat.

So donor would come over, we would hang out, have dinner, then he would go to the bathroom with a little cup and the syringe, put his stuff in the cup, and transfer it to the syringe for us, and then leave. Then we would just use the speculum, and squirt the stuff in, trying to get as much of it as possible right over the cervix.

So you have an idea of how long everything took, here’s the breakdown:

- Contacted the donor in June 2013.

- Was out of Edmonton for the summer so didn’t meet with him until September when we got back.

- Met in late September for coffee, and he showed us his medical results. All good.

- A week later we did the legal stuff.

- We tried the first conception in October, knowing it would most likely fail as it was about 5 days too early in my cycle. (And being new and clumsy in the process and at that point, being without the speculum, most of what she squirted in there fell back out.. hahah.) We had no other choice as far as the timing because he had already booked (months before) a vacation home to another province, and was leaving for 3 weeks the very next morning.

- 2^nd Attempt in November. Failed due to cycle being thrown off – I had received some high stress news from my family which was a big worry. I ovulated very late (if at all) that month.

- 3^rd attempt during the first week of January – Success!

The January attempt was also a bit sketchy as, again, our donor was heading off on a camping trip so we ended up getting the last sample from him 2 – 3 days before I was due to ovulate. (We had been staggering out the attempts to try to cover as much of the fertility window as possible. Since a person can’t really know for sure exactly when ovulation is going to happen, we asked him to come over every second day, during the week before I was due to ovulate. For the best chances it’s good to try every other day up until the actual day of ovulation. We weren’t able to do that last attempt though, because he was off camping by then.) That sample wasn’t acquired under the best circumstances either. We had to drive to his house, pick it up, drive it back home and then do the process. The little swimmers were in that syringe for a good 45 mins to an hour before we were able to use them but, they worked J

Anyway – that is our conception story, and for any other lesbian couples out there who are thinking about trying and don’t have any known fertility issues, it is possible to do it without going through all the clinical hassle and expense. It’s quite a bit of work as far as researching, communicating and vetting possible donors, but it is worth it in the end. Our conception cost us about $30 and for us, it was important to know the person who would be supplying 50% of our child’s DNA.

Good luck to everyone!

L.

2MamazInSeattle · June 2014

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story! We have a pregnancy check in on Mondays, please join in to that. There are some Canadians on the board but not in Edmonton I don't think. You'll find lots of different paths here, and there are definitely people who used KDs (known donors). Welcome again!