@Manada

4legsRbest

@Manada - How are you? I was stalking you on LGBT and was wondering if you are home and how that bed is treating you?

Aurora1181

glad you posted this- I was wondering the same thing. Hope everything is going well!!

curlylocks3

Add me to the list of wondering about you!

mer313131

Add me too! Hope you're doing ok!

Manada

AWE thanks everyone!   I am touched and heart warmed to know you care...

I'm doing okay, home again and on bed rest here once again after having the cerclage placed a week ago.  Thankfully (knock-wood!) the bleeding stopped by Monday, and things have been relatively quiet, so I've just been trying to settle into bed rest and get my head around hopefully doing this for the next few months.    We are 20 weeks today, which feels much further along than the 17w3d we were when this nightmare really got real, so our countdown is on until viability as our first goal, and then hopefully as long as possible beyond that.

I'm okay though, physically at least.   Emotionally I'm still pretty anxious, every random belly twinge or cramp scares the bejesus out of me, especially at night -- and leaving the house, even if it's just in my wheelchair to get 5 minutes of fresh air our front of our building while my partner walks the dog - freaks me out too, I'm so scared of doing something inadvertently that messes this all up.   I'm hoping that we have lots of boring days ahead so I can potentially have a chance to settle that down.

Our appointment this week was basically a bust because they were in such a panic to try to get the anatomy scan finished, the MFM covering for our regular doc had forgotten to add a cervix check to the order so we didn't end up getting one (AND our babies are super-badly positioned for most of the anatomy scan to work out).  That was frustrating, but we have been told to wait until Tuesday next week again and assume no news is good news.   Argh.     I am hopeful that when we see our regular MFM on Tuesday he will have more info for us and a little reassurance with a good cervix length that's still closed and holding.

Until then, I just keep lying on my back... watching netflix... and every night before bed we read stories and sing songs to my belly.   We figure it's the best we can do for them while we are all in this waiting place. 

Thanks so much for checking in guys, I really appreciate it -- and I'm always following up on your updates as well.

Aurora1181

@Manada Glad to hear you're settling into the "routine" somewhat. I'm sure it's scary.. I'm only on couch rest and it still freaks me out. My therapist told me to remember that you are the only one who can rest..and that rest is productive, even if it doesn't feel like it. it's doing so much for your babies! You're already being such a great mom keep us updated!

4legsRbest

So glad to hear everyone is still doing well and that you are home! I am happy to hear that you have an appt with your regular MFM next week and that the babies are still baking away. I can't imagine the stress and anxiety you guys are feeling but you are in my t&ps everyday and I hope everything stays as uneventful for you as it can!