Worried - not conceiving 2nd

Squigglove

Okay, had my first baby at 35. I'm not 36. Baby is 9m. I never went back on birth control and we've been taking our chances for several months now. We got more aggressive about the last two months. Nothing's happening!

My doc says it can take up to a year. I don't want to have to wait that long before they START to look for a problem!!

Do you guys think I'm just freaking out? I really wanted to have my second baby BEFORE age 38. My last menstrual cycle was 10 days late. After baby my cycles were regular, but then became more and more irregular and I'm starting to get scared. It's so important to me to have another baby!

What should I do?

Thanks

URMySunshine77

Hi there. I can relate to your feelings. I have a few questions, if you don't mind. 

Are you currently breastfeeding? Have you been tracking your cycles and/or temping using an application like Fertility Friend? Are you using ovulation predictor kits (OPKs)?

ETA: I would highly recommend temping in order to assess your cycle trends and to see whether or not you are ovulating each month. I recommend Fertility Friend: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/. I think that others use Kindara: https://www.kindara.com/home

OPKs can help you maximize your timing. I would recommend ordering Wondfo OPKs from Amazon. They are cheap and efficient for most people.

If you are still breastfeeding, it could make conception more difficult.

lcwed

Everything URMySunshine said, especially the temping.  It will let you know whether or not you are ovulating.  Also, TTC#2 has taken way longer than the first and I am only 36 and had DD at 34.  I believe the norm is after actively trying for 6 months to consider seeing a specialist.  Hope that helps.

kindershlitz

This can be a frustrating journey. It sucks but you are not alone. My first took eight cycles (two months shy of 35) with a some 'help' (post HSG) We are on our eleventh cycle trying again.
My OB saw me after six months and is seeing me again this month. You might want to consider a new dr if you're not comfortable with their aggressiveness (easier said than done sometimes)
@URMySunshine77‌ had great suggestions

URMySunshine77

(child mentioned)

I expected trying for a second to be easy since that is the common saying. I have been trying three cycles. I will contact my OB after seven cycles since my cycles have been regulating after I weaned DS.

ETA: The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a great resource if you have not yet seen it. I would suggest checking it out from the library.

I wish you luck in your journey and hope to see you around the board. :-) 

Davie813

Welcome! I'm also finding it harder to get pregnant this time around. We conceived #1 on the 2nd try (and we made lots of mistakes the first cycle.) This is cycle #6 of meticulously timed trying for #2, and no dice so far. Maybe it's age; maybe it's just one of those things...

Good luck to you--hope you find success quickly!

kelley72

URMySunshine77 and @ lcwed. I agree with the exceptional information provided in Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of your Fertility- also fertilityfriend.com is extremely helpful and a lot of women here/other boards utilize it to track and confirm ovulation.

Your feelings are completely normal and relatable.  I wish you well on your journey and if I were in your shoes I'd probably read the bood, and chart for two-three months while researching my next step... Best wishes for a happy journey!

lgsdesigner

I second what everyone else said-- especially the part about charting. Also, since your baby is only 9 months old, your hormones and body may still be a little off. Some people can get pregnant right after having a baby, and others it takes more time. Hang in there, and keep your head up!

Sherby613

lgsdesigner said:

I second what everyone else said-- especially the part about charting. Also, since your baby is only 9 months old, your hormones and body may still be a little off. Some people can get pregnant right after having a baby, and others it takes more time. Hang in there, and keep your head up!

Agreed - especially if breastfeeding. I understand your frustration completely. Good luck!

Squigglove

Thanks for the help folks!

I'm no longer breastfeeding, I had terrible trouble keeping my milk up even though my son had such a strong suckle that it put me in unbearable pain. I tried pumping but my supply kept going dry.

I've been tracking cycles using a phone app. But I'll have to research on how to do the temperature thing.

C_Girlie

Good luck

gscoville

Squigglove said:

Thanks for the help folks!

I'm no longer breastfeeding, I had terrible trouble keeping my milk up even though my son had such a strong suckle that it put me in unbearable pain. I tried pumping but my supply kept going dry.

I've been tracking cycles using a phone app. But I'll have to research on how to do the temperature thing.

Please ditch the phone app, only Fertility Friend actually analyzes the info (temps, OPKs) that you put in and customizes your chart for YOUR cycles.  The rest just guess at it based on averages, and if there's one thing I've learned is very few women are 'average' in their cycles.  Fertility Friend has wonderful free tutorials as well, to teach you about temping as well as all about your cycles, when you're most fertile, etc.  I learned so much from FF, it's very detailed and you'll be amazed at how much we should actually be taught about in sex ed but aren't. 

The standard for women 35 or older is to seek help after 6 months of actively trying.  "Taking your chances" is not the same as actively trying, you've only been "aggressive" about it for a couple of months so you're still in very early days.  Check out FF, do the tutorials, start temping and maybe add in OPKs to help round out the information you can give FF, and if you aren't successful after four more months, you'll have lots of excellent information in your charts to take to a doctor.  Good luck!