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rayschicky
member
I've got to say good bye for a while...
rayschicky
member
So out of the blue DH told me today that now is not a good time to have a baby. He wants to stop trying currently. That it would be smarter to wait. He'd rather buy and pay off a boat, build a garage, pay off his CC first etc. I'm pretty upset obviously. I'm due to ovulate probably tomorrow or Wednesday so I was all geared up for baby-making. I honestly hope I don't O for a few days, because if I did conceive this month from what we've already done I would be upset knowing DH doesn't want it right now. Idk. Sorry if this is ramble-y or whatever Just feeling really down. I might still pop in now and then, we'll have to see I suppose.
Sorry guys, thanks for everything so far.
TTGP Jan Siggy Challenge: Workout Fails
So THAT's how you get into baby-making position!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I've got to say good bye for a while...
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
BFP#1 7/13/11 EDD 3/16/12 DS born 3/16/12
BFP#2 5/16/14 EDD 1/23/15 CP 5/21/14
BFP#3 6/25/14 EDD 3/2/15
3 failed IUI cycles
Oct '15 - IVF 1 - 10R, 3M, 0F
Sept '16 - IVF - 12R, 11M, 5F and 3 perfect day 5 blasts - MMC 7w5d
Jan '17 - FET 1 - BFP, EDD 10/14
I don't know if this is anything similar to what your husband is going through, but it's a possibility. I agree with all the pp's, it's best to both be on the same page, but I guess what I'm saying is, maybe you won't be on the bench for as long as you think.
Me (29) DH (29)
Married 5+ years
If you posted about how you were having second thoughts, I wouldn't share the same story since it wouldn't be applicable to you.
I'm not suggesting that you "talk him into" having a baby, but maybe if you talk more, he'll realize he's just freaking out. Tell him it's better to have the baby before the boat bc you'd get better use out of the boat when the child is older and you can go as a family.
Good luck to you guys.
Married December 2011 TTC#1 Since November 2013
Dec. 2013... BFP! 12/31/13... Natural M/C 1/29/14 (8 weeks)
July 2014...BFP!... 17dpo beta 581...19dpo beta 1419!!.. stick baby, stick!
EDD: 3/20/15.. It's a boy!
BFP 6/15/14 EDD: 2/24/15
"Meet me in St. Louis"
My husband and I went through the same thing but the other way around. He was ready and I was the one listing off reasons why we weren't ready. We need to get the carpets done, we need to get more work done on the house, I want to be able to afford a housekeeper once a month, I want to be able to drink at this weekend vacation, yadda yadda - but really there is NEVER a perfect time, financially or conveniently. I was just listing things to put it off because I was scared of the enormity of the decision. I don't know your husband, but I'd be willing to bet he's feeling similarly. Just keep the conversation going. Don't hound him about it, but talk about it. You'll both probably waver during this process, but in the end if you've both agreed this is something you'll want, you'll know when you're as ready as you can be.
TTC #1 8/2012~Chronic Pelvic Pain Condition began 10/2012~Told I was crazy by many doctors until a good specialist DXed a labral tear and bone impingement in left hip 4/2013~Surgery on left hip: 5/31/13 SUCCESS!!! Pain flares to continue indefinitely (but mostly gone).
Resumed TTC 6/2013~Chronic stomach pain and distension: 8/2013~TTA 1/2014 Until Resolved ~7/2014: Trip to the Mayo Clinic--SUCCESS!! Finally on the road to getting better.
Resumed TTC 7/2014! Third time's the charm....8/2014 Visited the RE~DX: MFI/low morph~Straight to IVF with ICSI! 9/2014~Transferred 1 perfect beautiful 6AA blast with 10 to freeze!!!~10/8/2014: BFP!!!! EDD: 6/17/15 STICK LITTLE BEAN!!! IT'S A BOY!!!!!
BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015
*everyone always welcome*
TTC 10/2013
RE Help from 10/2014-10/2016 (11 failed IUIs, a corrective surgery, and a donor embryo cycle)
9/2016-transferred two donor embies
BFP 9/29/26 EDD June 11
TTC since March 2014
BFP#1 09/25/2014 EDD 6/4/2015
@bibliothecary @cateyes - miss you guys too. @mommy2C and @HeyStVincent - I probably will pop back in from time to time I think. This place is way too awesome and supportive not to. I think the healthy living check in and waiting to do something threads might be a good place for me maybe. And like @SnakeFisherBub said if it's too tough I can always take a break.
I think what we need to do is to set some very SPECIFIC goals. Our goal had always been "get financially ready" but we never explicitly described what that would look like. That way like @sjpmcfmd suggested we can say "check" we've paid off all our debt except house/cars/student loan, "check" we've FINALLY taken a honeymoon trip ( @WestIsleFlower he did also mention a trip - have fun on yours!) and then if he is still feeling nervous then we can have a discussion of why that is and knowing it has nothing to do with finances.
@ginger1228 and @myatala - the boat thing also pissed me off because I was looking at is as "you'd rather have a boat than a child" but he said its more like "if we did get a boat (we've discussed it) I'd rather not be paying for it when we have a baby". I think when we set some goals tonight I'll ask him what he thinks about saving up for one when we have a baby rather than paying it off. That way if we have a tough month we just don't save as much vs we're screwed for bills.
@BillyHorrible I also hope/think we won't be out for toooooo long. Come September I should be making double my current income so that's quite a bit of extra quid each month I can allocate to debt repayment/trip/garage savings.
In the meantime I am going to be ruthless at crushing debt as that is mainly what's standing in our way, and I'm going to take this opportunity to reach some of my healthy living goals. (and live vicariously through you guys).
PS. holy name drop batman. sorry about the novel. thank you all for your support/advice and kind words as I go
ETA sp and tags
TTGP Jan Siggy Challenge: Workout Fails
So THAT's how you get into baby-making position!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Proudly on the dark side
****Loss in Sig****
3T Sig Challenge: New Year's Resolutions
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less."
March 2014 - HSG left tube blocked, right tube partially blocked bilaterial partial obstruction; onward to the RE in April
May 1, 2014 - Lap surgery and chromopertubation; Dr removed a bit of endo, but everything looks healthy & tubes are clear!
May 2014- First medicated cycle, 2.5mg femara+TI; BFN
June 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI on 6/18= BFP on 6/28!; C/P on 7/3
July 2014- 2.5mg femara + IUI #2 on 7/18. Starting progesterone 7/23, bfn
August 2014- 2.5mg femara + hCG + IUI # 3 on 8/15. BFN
Tx break
IVF #1 -
12/1 - TOT & SIS- RE found a polyp
12/15 - Hysterscopic surgery to remove the polyp; additional polyps found and removed
12/29- Good baseline u/s, 12 antral follies
12/30- Started stimming
1/10 - ER: 17 retrieved, 14 fertilized!
My Ovulation Chart - No data, just meds
EDD March 12, 2018