WTMF?! Another babysitter vent.

MrsT0514

I'm on my last straw. I'm so god damn frustrated. My poor kid has had 4 different babysitter since he was 8 months old and none of them but 1 has actually stuck. The one that has stuck has very limited availability so she doesnt sit for us often. We were supposed to have a new sitter come for the first time this thursday (she interviewed last week), but she just texted saying she needs to go on a research trip (she's a biology major) sooner than expected so she cant sit for us.

Seriously what the hell does it take to find a reliable babysitter? My kid is really good, mild mannered kid. All we need is someone who will sit at our house and play with him for a few hours twice a month and then occasionally put him to bed (on a date night). It's not like I'm looking for a full Time nanny here.

It seems like each girl we hire (care.com) is very nice, has great references, etc...but then something always "comes up". I'm just fucking done being blown off.

Thanks for hearing me out. ::SIGH::

plus12012

If your child goes to Day Care/ Preschool, are their any teachers that will babysit?

MrsT0514

@plus12012‌ unfortunately no, hes no longer in daycare (he used to go PT). The cost of DC vs. How much my PT job was bringing in,it made no sense to keep paying out that much a week. Plus I was able to switch to working only nights to accommodate.

@PrivacyWanted‌ I dont know of any drop in centers around us, but I'll look into it. Although, I doubt any centers are open for the hours we need (2 thursday evenings a month from like 5:30-7:30).

MrsT0514

Ugh. The only drop in centers I've found are in the nearest major city, which is like 45 minutes away. Thats a no go.

MrsT0514

@TyrannosaurusLex‌ I get what you are saying also. I can certainly see it from that pov as well, but honestly, what do we do in this situation then? Make up another day/time even though we dont actually NEED a sitter more than twice/3x a month (including date night)?

I've thought about that too, but I guess it sorta feels like spending money unnecessarily.

MrsT0514

Also, when interviewing these girls, I make it known that these are our needs (twice a month plus an occasional date night) and they're ok with it, mostly bc they're college students so they're busy as is.

RondackHiker

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Wait so you're only hiring them for two hours twice monthly? That right there is why they'd have no loyalty to you.

Yeah, they're going to ditch you for a more consistent job every time.

I'm sorry. It must be really frustrating.

Rather than going with a professional, have you considered a teenager? Or leaving him with a mom friend?

LaurelBee

Are there any neighbors close by with teenaged kids??

MrsT0514

@RondackHiker‌ @TyrannosaurusLex‌ I see you point, for sure.

Maybe I need to try widening my approach. I'd be open to leaving him with a teen for those few hours, but the issue is that we honestly don't know of any teens in the neighborhood. Also, I don't have many mom friends to ask, and my gf down the street (her son is 6mo older than my ds and she's got another on the way), I'd feel guilty asking, as she's got a busy schedule as is.

RondackHiker

MrsT0514 said:

@RondackHiker‌ @TyrannosaurusLex‌ I see you point, for sure. Maybe I need to try widening my approach. I'd be open to leaving him with a teen for those few hours, but the issue is that we honestly don't know of any teens in the neighborhood. Also, I don't have many mom friends to ask, and my gf down the street (her son is 6mo older than my ds and she's got another on the way), I'd feel guilty asking, as she's got a busy schedule as is.

Stuck in the box. Just ask. Say that you're trying to hire a sitter and that she could feed him pizza and throw on a movie (twice a month won't break him even if you're trying to avoid TV till two) and that you'd pay her. She may not be able to do it EVERY time, but she could do it some times I bet.

MrsT0514

@RondackHiker‌ you're right, I guess there's no harm in asking. I'm sure she probably would, I'd just never want her to think I'm taking advantage of her kindness. Plus I'm sure she'd never give me the chance to reciprocate bc she's got family thay she uses for childcare. So I just feel bad that I'm not doing anything in return for her!

MrsT0514

PrivacyWanted said:

Another option is to barter in some of the local moms groups.  My local one (on FB) does an exchange where people earn hours by babysitting for other member's kids, then the whole pool of moms is open for the hours they earn.   (Of course this means you'd have to babysit too)

I'm actually interested in looking into this. Especially with the summer coming, and having DS home with me during the day, I'd really like to get involved with other moms with young kids for playdates and stuff. So I'll definitely look into that as well.

Speaking of barters..has anyone used babysitterexchange.com? I just stumbled across it and am gonna look into it.

MrsCodeMonkey

I'm going to pay a 16 year old a couple of houses down. She seems very mature and sweet. Do you have teenagers that babysit in your neighborhood?

My other thought is trading babysitting nights with friends.

MrsT0514

@MrsCodeMonkey‌ I WISH we had some trustworthy teenagers in our neighborhood. TBH, kids are scarce in our neighborhood. Any kids we know that do live in the area are too young.

I only have a few mom friends, all of which use their family for childcare, so I dont think a trade with them would work. Ive been saying I'm gonna join and be active in a mom's group, but I end up dragging my feet. I really need to just do it and start meeting some new mom friends so we can hopefully barter babysitting.

My only other option is one last candidate I have from Care.com that just called. She has 2 kids of her own (ages 2 & 4) that she'd have with her, and it would most likely involve me dropping DS off to her house if we were to have her watch him. We're debating on that, although I'd have no idea what to even pay her.

LittleFish1

some of our local mom's groups do a sit & play (4 moms take turna watching each other's kids - 2 moms watch all 4 kids while the other two moms go and run errands for a few hours). Also, your friends who have their own family watch their kids might have a recomendation for sitters.

My mom's group divides up the larger area into smaller play groups. We can join an email list-serve that people can ask for advice on child care, contractors & more. Would look for a play group that does this sort of thing.

MrsT0514

TheEmpireNeedsYou said:

MrsT0514 said:

@RondackHiker‌ you're right, I guess there's no harm in asking. I'm sure she probably would, I'd just never want her to think I'm taking advantage of her kindness. Plus I'm sure she'd never give me the chance to reciprocate bc she's got family thay she uses for childcare. So I just feel bad that I'm not doing anything in return for her!

You never know. As a sahm I'd jump at that. A few hours a month for a little funny money? I'd be psyched.

Yeah, but the issue with this situation, is that my gf isn't a SAHM. She works full time and has an active toddler she comes home to (with baby#2 on the way), I guess I'd just feel guilty dumping my kid on her for a few hrs as well, as soon as she gets home, KWIM?

But yeah...I hear you. I only work PT, so I'm home during the day...at this point, I'd be down to maybe watch another kid in addition to mine just to make some extra cash once or twice a week.

RondackHiker

When I was a working mom I'd have taken your kid for dinner and a movie every other week.

Ask. Say you'll pay. Say she can think about it and no hard feelings if she says no or can only do it rarely or short term.

klondikebar

If you only have a need a few times month for an actual sitter, could you add on a few 2-3 hour days as a mother's helper? You could use that time to tackle a project around the house or run an errand.

cyprissa

I'm a working mom and would do it at least some of the time too. Also, ask her if she knows sitters. Plus, even if she generally uses family, doesn't mean she wouldn't be open to a trade...sometimes it might be easier to not deal with family kwim?