Advice on introducing a new sibling?

LTMama

Hey all,

I know there's no magic answer to this and every family is different, but I was hoping to get some advice anyway.  I'm due in Sept with #2, and am trying to figure out the best way to prepare DD (3yo) for her baby brother's arrival.  She's been acting up a bit lately, though I'm not sure if it's because of her expected sibling or because she's 3 and is acting like a 3yo.  We've talked to her about how there's a baby in my tummy, and refer to her baby brother a lot and tell her how much he loves her.  Sometimes she seems excited.  Sometimes, not so much.

So.  Suggestions I've gotten so far have been:
- When she first comes to the hospital to meet him, I shouldn't be holding him.  If she sees him in a crib etc, that should be easier.
- Getting her some kind of gift and telling her it's from her baby brother, to coincide with his arrival at home.
- Having that special gift be a doll or stuffed animal that's baby-sized, so she can diaper it etc and feel involved.  She doesn't like dolls, so it would have to be a stuffed animal.

If anyone else is willing to share ideas they've tried, I'd appreciate it!  Thanks

LTMama

CTGirl30, thanks!  That helps a lot.  I'll look into getting her some big sister books, I haven't done that yet.  Until my friend mentioned it to me yesterday, it hadn't occurred to me to have the baby in a bassinet the first time she meets him, but that makes a lot of sense.  DD is in preschool, and we plan to keep her in during my mat leave as well, so hopefully that consistency will help her.  My mom should be in town to help out once the baby arrives, and our plan is to have her spend lots of quality time with DD (who is really attached to her) and take her on fun outings, so hopefully that will also help.

Thanks!

ASmallWonder

Not to make light of the transition but don't assume the worst.  I truthfully gave practically zero thought to my then three year old meeting his little brother.  We talked about the baby a lot but I absolutely was holding him when DS1 came to visit.  We did have them exchange toys only because I thought that was cute and sweet but DS1 was unphased.  He didn't skip a beat and it was as if he had always had a brother (of course there were moments of "I need you NOW" but no real prolonged new sibling issues, kwim?).  Like CTGirl, DS1 stayed in daycare while I was home so that he didn't miss out on fun while I was busy taking care of his brother.  It helped him keep his routine and then we could enjoy family time when he was home.

MissyC979

We made sure to talk about the baby a lot and all the things he would teach the baby an do with the baby. He really takes his roll as a big brother seriously and likes giving the baby "tips."

We had the baby get DS1 a gift that he unwrapped at the hospital. Also, DS1 picked out a gift for the baby a few weeks before, so that helped.

DS1 helped DH put together the crib for the baby. He also helped put together the PNP and swing.

This one is a little weird. DS1 was convinced he had baby animals in his belly (a lion, leopard, and cheetah--don't ask). I found some tiny beanie-baby type animals and put them in a little basket with a tiny blanket. The night I had the baby, my Mom stayed with DS1 and set up the animals on his bedstand so he could see that they were here--then she told him my baby had come too.

We had some rough times early on, but DS1 has always been great with the baby and never resented him. He has been upset with us at times, but he has always loved his little brother with no negative feelings. Good luck!