Struggling with sleep training

Amandaskafidas

My husband and I started sleep training our 6 month old daughter 10 days ago. It was not something I ever planned to do and I agonized over the decision but eventually decided we needed to give it try. My daughter was addicted to bouncing, and would wake up after 20 to 30 minutes during the naps and up to 8-10 times at night. SOMETIMES she would nurse back to sleep at night but many times just wanted to be bounced. We eventually brought her in the bed with us but that wasn't cutting it for her either. She was totally sleep deprived. I did not want to let her cry it out but I finally decided it was the best choice for her. I opted to do the Furber method, but stayed in the room the first two nights while she fell asleep just to get her adjusted. Then on the third night I started the progressive waiting and have been doing that ever since, with the longest time being 25 minutes. The thing is, we are not having the success I read that most people have with this method. It seems like all the experiences I read about are of extreme crying the first night followed by a dramatic drop on night 2 and by night 3 or 4 the baby is going to sleep without crying and staying asleep for several hours. Our baby still cries almost every time I lay her down for at least 15 minutes, sometimes more, and is often still waking after 30 minute naps. I'm fine getting up to feed her once or twice at night (I'm EBF) but she will sometimes still cry when I put her down 45 minutes or more. There has definitely been improvement (she has put herself to sleep without crying or with little crying several times, which NEVER would have happened before) but I was hoping to see more drastic results more quickly. I would not be okay letting her cry herself to sleep for 20 minutes every night and nap forever! Has anyone had experience with CIO where the results were slow like this but eventually turned around? If you are against sleep training, please don't comment. I felt the same way and did not make this decision lightly so am not looking for input from people who think it is cruel. Just looking for support/experiences from other moms who have been through it! FYI we do the whole bedtime routine (pjs, stories, massage, nurse, lullabies, etc) and put her down around 6:30. Naps we aim for 2 hours apart. We have blackout curtains and a noise maker. 

Amandaskafidas

Thanks for the replies. I have not read all of Ferber's book yet, I figured you can find all the info online but maybe I will read it after all. jnetx, we are up to 25 minutes wait time right now already. Usually she falls asleep right before that mark anyway, but I really wish we could get to the point where she goes down happily with no crying! Do your little ones still cry at all when you put them in their cribs now?

Sunshineflo

I do not do the Ferber method but wanted to suggest moving her bed time later? My daughter goes to bed around 8:30. If I try to put her down at 8 all hell breaks loose! I read that just adjusting the bed time a little bit can help and I found it does. 

Also, your daughter's sleep pattern may be that she naturally takes 30 minute naps. I read about all these babies that would nap for hours-not so with my daughter! She also did 30-45 minute naps for the first 10 months. About two months ago (when she was 10 months old) she started napping longer and now does 2 hour naps.

Good luck!

Amandaskafidas

Sunshineflo- thanks, maybe my daughter will do the same with naps as she gets older! I'd like to put her to bed later so my hubby could have more time with her when he gets home from work but usually she' s so exhausted by that hour that I have trouble keeping her up any later. Maybe I will attempt to the next few nights and see if she will adjust!!

ana_k

https://www.pinkymckay.com/when-baby-sleep-training-goes-wrong-the-risks-of-controlled-crying/

ana_k

https://www.thenaturalparent.co.nz/articles/trouble-with-sleep-training.php

dovetail223

Def read the Ferber book. He has a lot more tips and such about sleeping. I think ppl assume Ferber is just crying, but he really has a lot of knowledge about sleep. Before I read it, I had no idea that just giving DD her last bottle right before bed was creating a sleep association to eating/sucking. She was waking up a lot in the middle of the night. I moved her bottle to 10-15 min before bed in another room and it was instantly better. Good luck!

bgreen_07

I tried ALL methods and read every sleep book out there. The only method that worked for us consistently was the CIO method without going back in to comfort DD (we tried comforting her initially but she got even more worked up if we went in). She was sleeping throughout the night by 8 months and it made night weaning and transitioning her to her own room seamless. And once she was able to put herself to sleep at night, we applied it to her naps. The weirdest thing is, she may cry as we put her in her crib, but as soon as we close the door, she goes straight to sleep.

ILMomma

bgreen_07 said:

The weirdest thing is, she may cry as we put her in her crib, but as soon as we close the door, she goes straight to sleep.

This is what we found too. We gave ourselves a 20 minute cry max and have yet to reach that because he always stops crying and goes to sleep on his own.