How does Parenting feel about this?

mrebecca

Taking pictures in a cemetery: is it weird?

To clarify, almost a year ago, BIL took his life. He was in the military. 
I have been thinking about taking pictures of DD waving a flag (or something like that) beside his headstone. 
Is it weird in general to take pictures in a cemetery? 
Would it be weird to have such a photo framed for MIL?

BIL had schizophrenia, but he "came back" to us a little when DD was around. It was amazing. 

Also, I just found a birthday card BIL gave to DH a few months before he passed. Trying not to ugly cry.

olp920

What you just described sounds beautiful. I think your MIL having a framed picture of her sons grave depends on her closure at this point. -she may not hang it up necessarily yet, but she would probably hold it dear to her heart regardless.

LBib

It is not weird if it is a picture that you want. I will take pictures of my dad's headstone, maybe even with my kids, when he's interred later this summer. However, unless you know your MIL really wants that picture I'd be careful about giving it to her as a gift. Is there anyway you could ask her first?

olp920

And hugs by the way...I'm sorry. Ugly crying sounds about right.

ShakeyJakey

I took pictures of my uncles head stone for my grandparents to take home with them. They never would see it otherwise. I don't think it's weird. It sounds precious.

TheRunningGinger

I don't think it would be weird. I think it is a really nice idea if your MIL is ok with it. Obviously asking her if it's something she would like will take the surprise out of the gift but I'd definitely want to make sure she would want something like that. If she says no, you could always keep it until she is ready.

RondackHiker

It can be done well. I took photos of the view from my grandmother's grave for my mom and aunt. Grandma had picked out a lovely spot! Both mom and aunt loved it.

Everyone is upset with my cousin, however, who took photos of my grandma's casket and the hole and the headstone and the backhoe and posted them to Facebook during the ceremony with everyone present tagged.

What you describe sounds nice.

DreadLoc

we always take pictures with my grandfather's stone and a flag whenever we all get up there to visit family.  not weird and the photos are cherished.

ssmb_clarinet

Not weird at all, at least for my family. Every year we go to the cemetery and decorate a Christmas tree at my grandmas gravesite and take pics. A family tradition that I plan to carry on.

Lolapop29

PrivacyWanted said:

I think the more important question is how MIL feels. I wouldn't want a picture of anyone, even my niece at my brother's grave. The mementos we have up in our house focus on his life. But my mom has pictures of the memorials and from the funerals in her house so she may like such a picture. It's so personal that I wouldn't unless mil expressly said something.

This exactly. Personally I wouldn't want to look at something like that on a regular basis.  It would just make me cry too much.  I prefer focusing on living memories.  But I can understand other people liking this a lot.

chevronseven

I don't think it's weird. Not my personal taste, but it sounds like a sweet gesture.

my5sons

RVASC811 said:

I don't have any better advice than you've already been given, but I wanted to say that I think it is so sweet for you to consider such a thing for your MIL even if it turns out she'd rather not have it.

+1

mrebecca

Thanks everyone. I just wish we had a picture of BIL and DD together. One just doesn't exist. Some of the last pictures of him were taken at mine and DH's wedding nearly 5 years ago.